We often hear that being with someone means accepting their flaws and caring for them despite things about them that might bother you. But let’s face it: sometimes, your partner can have some habits that really get under your skin. And that goes beyond chewing with their mouth open or grinding their teeth. Sometimes your partner’s most annoying trait is one that’s engraved into their personality and part of who they are — and it’s something you really have to work on to get through.
“None of us is perfect, and sometimes we find our imperfections create friction with others or we’ll meet someone where we don’t understand where they’re coming from,” Kansas City astrologer Cindy Mckean, tells Bustle. “Sometimes it’s just as simple as looking at our zodiac sign! It helps us understand where each person is coming from and what makes them tick as well as helps us understand ourselves or see one’s own traits that we’re blind to. Our little differences and annoyances distinguish us from others and can be endearing to some. There’s always a flip side to the annoying traits that’s positive that we can see with a slight change of perspective.”
If you’re wondering what your partner’s most annoying habit may be, read on for some insight below.
1. Aries (March 21 – April 19): Impatience
If you’re dating an Aries, you might have noticed they don’t like being rushed. “Aries, the first sign of the zodiac, and is blessed with abundant energy,” Mckean says. “They’re able to be ready on a moment’s notice and expect that it’s the same for everyone else, which ends up being a source of impatience.” So if you like to take your time getting ready when you’re going out with your partner, you might find yourself being constantly asked, Are you ready yet? But Mckean says not to fear. “Luckily, Aries is also willing to listen, so with a heads up, they are a lot more patient,” she says.
2. Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Stubbornness
True to their sign of the bull, Tauruses can be extremely hard-headed. It’s either their way or the highway, and in a relationship that can be extremely difficult to deal with. “Taurus is probably one of the most stubborn signs of the zodiac, if not, then the most stubborn,” Mckean says. If you’re an adventurous person who’s into trying new things, it can be really hard to get your Taurus partner on board, and this can cause some serious arguments. But Mckean says that being stubborn isn’t all bad.
“Look at the positive aspects of stubbornness: patience, loyalty, dedication, steadfastness,” she says. This doesn’t mean she suggests doing nothing about the stubbornness and just carrying on. Mckean says that you can coax your bull-headed partner into trying new things. “So long as Taurus is informed well ahead of time, they can change or be open to new ideas and experiences,” she says.
3. Gemini (May 21 – June 20): Flakiness
Geminis are represented by twins because of all the tasks that they choose to undergo — one person just isn’t enough for all the things they want to do. In this way, your Gemini partner might bite off more than they can chew and sometimes forget you along the way. “Gemini loves to get around and mingle,” Mckean says. “They live for the moment rather than in the past or future. In this regard, they can come across as flighty when really they have a tendency to get distracted.” But they really don’t mean to brush you off. Although this can cause fights, Mckean suggests trying to embrace your Gemini’s need to do everything. “Roll with their change of plans if you want longevity with them,” she says
4. Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Moodiness
We all have our own emotions to deal with, so when we’re partners with a Cancer whose mood swings can be likened to a rollercoaster, it can seem overwhelming. “Ruled by the Moon, Cancer’s moods can change as often as the moon changes phases, and even more,” Mckean says. “They can go from giddy laughing to sad tears within the same hour in extreme cases.” This can be a lot to deal with, especially if you aren’t having such a great day yourself. But in order to make it work with a Cancer, you just have to really be there for them. “The remedy is predictability and reassurance for Cancer,” Mckean says. “Security is of utmost importance in a Cancer’s life.” And if you just let your partner know you’re there in any way they need, things can be great for both of you.
5. Leo (July 23 – August 22): Vanity
Just like the proud lion, Leos can be a little self-involved. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with loving yourself, but Leos tend to forget there’s another person besides them in the equation. “Ruled by the Sun, the most glorious, magnificent, and observable object in our Earthly heavens, Leo has the qualities of enjoying being noticed,” Mckean says. This can sometimes lead you to feeling a little invisible compared to your proud partner. But Mckean suggests not to make your Leo feel bad about their confidence. “It may come off as being vain, but just a little bit of compliments goes a long way with Leo, as they are also generous, have a sunny disposition, and a tendency to forgive,” she says.
6. Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Criticality
No one likes to be under constant scrutiny, but as a partner to a Virgo, you might notice that it happens to you quite a lot. “Virgos can’t help but notice all the details that everyone else takes for granted or overlooks,” Mckean says. “An outlier in the tiniest details stick out like a sore thumb to Virgo, and with that they might come across as critical.” If you start feeling like everything you do is under examination or not good enough for your perfectionist partner, it can definitely lead to tension and possibly even arguments. But Mckean says communication is key in trying to make your partner aware of how they make you feel. She also suggests keeping your partner busy and excited enough in the relationship that the little details won’t matter. “Work with your Virgo friend or lover on making sure that the gears are always moving and you’ll see a happier Virgo,” she says.
7. Libra (September 23 – October 22): Indecisiveness
How many times have you taken your partner out to eat and they’ve stared at the menu for longer than it would’ve taken to eat your food? If they’re like this with every other decision in their life as well, you’re probably with a Libra. “Symbolized by the scales, Libras can be very indecisive,” Mckean says. It can be frustrating being with a person who has to heavily consider every single option in front of them. But Mckean says their indecisiveness is because of the care they have.
“This is because being fair is of utmost priority for them,” she says. “There are no shortcuts around this because they have to weigh out every bit of information. Once they make their decision, you can be sure that it’s indeed fair for everyone involved.” Not many people care so deeply about making informed, logical decisions, so cherish your Libra (and have them look at the menu before getting to the restaurant).
8. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Secrecy
Keeping secrets in a relationship can be really tricky and sometimes super harmful. So the secretive nature of your Scorpio could be really annoying for you. “Scorpios love keeping secrets,” Mckean says. “They will keep your secrets safe so long you don’t do wrong by them; however, they are very slow to share their own secrets.” This can lead you to believe that something fishy is going on, but in reality, it’s probably because your Scorpio is an emotionally guarded person and takes a little more time to open up than others. “They are truly sensitive and thoughtful souls at heart, but shhh, don’t let that cat out of the bag because they like to protect their emotional vulnerabilities,” Mckean says. If their secretive nature is something that’s really coming in between you two, have an open and honest conversation about how you feel.
9. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Clumsiness
“Let’s face it, a Sagittarian’s most annoying trait, clumsiness, isn’t so bad,” Mckean says. And sometimes, clumsiness can be a little endearing. But it’s understandable if you get angry if you’re really stressed and pressed for time, and you ask your partner to handle something and they completely drop the ball. But letting your partner know that they need to take extra care with something is a great way to make sure they take whatever task you’re asking of them very seriously. “They are also very frank, which isn’t bad at all either,” Mckean adds. “Sometimes a little white lie is something we look forward to, but you can rely on your Sagittarius’s integrity.”
10. Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Hyper-Responsibility
Nothing is wrong with being a hardworking person who cares about their work and success. But if you’re with a Capricorn, it might be hard to help them cross over the line of work into play. “Work is more important than recreation to a typical Capricorn,” Mckean says. “Even recreation might seem like work with a Capricorn as every activity and event is carefully reviewed, thought out, and planned before they commit.” This can be frustrating if you’ve had a long week, need to blow off some steam, and your Capricorn partner wants to spend their weekend catching up to work emails. Mckean says to first acknowledge that you’re not with a boring person. “This doesn’t make them dull as they are very responsible,” she says. In fact, Capricorns know how to party hard — they just need a little nudge and reminder that work can sometimes wait.
11. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Emotional Detachment
Nobody likes a clingy partner, but the opposite can be frustrating, too. “The Aquarian’s tendency to be emotionally detached may be irritating to some of the more passionate or emotional signs,” Mckean says. “Aquarians are an air sign, so they tend to think with their heads more than their hearts.” So it might take a little more of a push to get through to your Aquarius’ soft side. But letting them know you need a little more reassurance in the emotional department is one way to let your partner know they’re being too detached. Plus, their sometimes-stoic personality can be an upside for you. Mckean says their objectivity is one to trust if you’re having a dilemma.
12. Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Aloofness
“Ruled by Neptune, the planet of dreams among other things, Pisces often like to live in their own world,” Mckean says. “This is how Pisces copes with the ways of life and idiosyncrasies of people around them.” But if you find yourself constantly waiting on texts from your partner or see them dazing off in the middle of conversations, it’s easy to get agitated. Reminding your Pisces partner that when you’re together you’d appreciate their complete attention is a good way to snap them back to reality. And if you’re a couple that spends a lot of time together, plan some activities together like reading or painting where you don’t need to speak or be as engaged. Being in the company of your Pisces while they go on their mental adventures can be a great way of spending time together and supporting them. Plus, Mckean says even though they’re aloof, doesn’t mean they’re unemotional. “[This quality actually] makes them very sympathetic and non-judgmental,” she says. “If you’re looking to find a silver lining to a dark cloud, Pisces will see it immediately.”
While some things about your partner may make you want to pull your hair out, you should always remember that nobody’s perfect, and that you probably have a few habits that grinds your partner’s gears as well. As long as you keep communication open and talk about how your partner’s actions make you feel, you can overcome any problems you might be having.