If anyone is a forgiving person, I am.
We’re all human beings. People make mistakes and nobody is perfect. I get it, I really do.
So, I never asked you for perfection. I never asked you to be flawless and I was always full of understanding when you did something wrong and repented later.
You could even say that I am an empath. I know that you can sometimes find yourself in a situation where you do something you normally wouldn’t.
Some would say that I am a forgiving person, as well. I’m not someone who throws people out of their lives on a first strike.
In fact, I’m widely known as a professional giver of second chances. At all times, I try my best to get your point of view, to listen to your side of the story, and to walk a mile in your shoes.
However, don’t you dare take me as a fool. I may be many things but I’m not a stupid girl. You see, my patience has its limits.
Yes, I follow my heart on most occasions. I allow my emotions to prevail in my decision making processes more times than it should.
Nevertheless, I have a brain as well. I’m capable of reasoning things and of seeing the truth through my rose tinted glasses.
Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that I am well aware of the fact that apologies are only valid when you never repeat your mistakes.
On every other occasion, they mean nothing. They have zero value when you use them as excuses to justify your behavior.
There is no point in you asking me to forgive you if you don’t plan on changing your ways.
No point in asking for a second chance if you’ll go back to your old ways as soon as the opportunity arises.
However, that is exactly what you’ve been doing all along. In fact, it seems that this kind of behavior has become a habit of yours.
You make a mistake, you treat me badly, and you hurt my feelings. As soon as you see that I want to kick you out of my life, you get on your knees.
All of a sudden, you act like you’re ready to do whatever it takes just for me to take you back.
You make endless promises about how you’ll change, how you’ll never repeat your mistake, and how this is the last time we’ll be in this situation.
So, silly me forgives you. The truth is that I don’t do it because I truly believe you.
In fact, I do it because I want to believe you. Because I love you so much that I am looking for an excuse to forgive you.
So, that is exactly what I do. I take you back and I give you yet another second chance.
However, after some time, when you are certain about your place in my life, you go back to your old ways.
You do exactly what you swore you would never do: you repeat the same mistake you were allegedly so sorry about and you end up asking for my forgiveness.
For years, you and I have been trapped in this endless cycle and I saw no way out.
For years, you’ve been breaking my heart and each time you did, you expected one apology to magically glue it together, so you could keep on crushing it.
Well, my darling, I have to disappoint you and tell you that this practice has come to an end. You’re out of second chances – and most importantly, you’ve run out of my forgiveness.
No, I’m not doing this because I’ve lost the ability to forgive. My heart is still kind and full of love. It just doesn’t have any more room for you.
I’ve stopped forgiving you because you don’t deserve it. In fact, I’ve chosen to stop doing it simply because none of your apologies were ever real.
You never wanted my forgiveness because you were really sorry. You didn’t ask for it because you repented your choices or because you realized you had made a mistake.
Instead, you kept on apologizing because you wanted a chance to keep on hurting me. Well, my darling, that is something I won’t be allowing you to do anymore.