– Explain why it does not work for me? I dream of a good job, to love a beautiful man, but my desires do not come true. What’s wrong with me?
People often come to me with such and similar problems, in the hope of receiving precise instructions on what to do. In this case, we must consider ourselves a mechanical device for which there is a guide to the application. Why do we forget that every person should have an individual approach and for any difficult situation there are several solutions, and not one and only?
There is no instruction for solving a problem that suits everyone without exception.
But there is also good news – if we want to really change our life for the better, we need to consider two vectors: “I want” and “what I do to fulfill my wish”.
- 1. Real need.
At the same time, the main and difficult thing for a person is to understand what he really wants, this is a personal need or imposed by society. True joy brings fulfillment of their intentions, and goals dictated from outside give short satisfaction.
Every our desire carries with it some need. It is important to define it, understand what we really want, find ways to achieve it, and get out of the vicious circle “why nothing happens”.
How to find out your real need, need?
For example, let’s analyze the desire for “good work” – what is in it? Decent payment, stability, guarantee of a bright future, creative implementation – what do you have? True need is individual, until you find it, the cherished “good work” will not happen.
The same approach with love . Why in personal life does not work?
What kind of need do you disguise as “love”? What do you really want to satisfy through love?
- 2. Restrictions
If you want to understand why I can’t do anything, see how, in what and where you restrict yourself.
A case in point is the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman. She dreams of meeting a real life partner, but constantly sees only unworthy applicants around her. Blind in her conviction, a woman will not notice the very only one when he passes very close. The mental framework of “no worthy” contradicts her verbal “want”, which, as a result, will never come true. It remains only to “want to want.”
What is the result:
To get out of the wheel “why nothing is working out”, you need to be aware that we are saying one thing, we think something else, we do the third, and we dream of a sky-high, unconnected with the above.
Determine your true need – and combine words, thoughts, actions and dreams into one.
We can not always understand why we are doing something. In fact, they depend on how we envision the future, consciously or unconsciously, setting restrictions as red flags. Therefore, “I want” remains in the past, and in the future “frameworks” are embodied.
What do I do to fulfill my “want”?
Sketch “why nothing happens in life with men ?”
– Imagine, complained to a friend of his beau. And instead of feeling sorry for me, she asks: “What prevents you from appreciating what you have?”
In justification, she gave one hundred and one reason to respect and appreciate no one. To which she reminded me that I always search for flaws in men, exaggerate them and turn them into tragedy.
And I know that to think so and do wrong. Yes, on courses Tatyana added that
The “know = do” identity does not work!
And I agree, but again at the level of “I know.” What finally killed me! I sit and feel how my holy faith in “I know” is crumbling … Moreover, my inner defender is silent: there is no thought in my head to justify myself being loved. Not very typical of me. What’s happening?
To which Tatyana replied: “Because this is a feeling of truth when the inner and outer are one. I know not only with my mind, but I also experience it. When an experience comes, the mind no longer controls us and the situation. In addition, experience or awareness releases energy. That is why it is better to understand not only with the mind, but experience and experience. ”
Why is nothing working? Another reason is that
all non-productive actions occur due to experiences from the past, and most importantly – on the basis of a decision made then on how to proceed.
As a result, all similar situations are equal to the past, not taking into account the present circumstances. That is, we act the same way in similar, but different in essence situations.
Consciousness changes radically during new experiences, when insight comes to the possibility of choosing different types of behavior in the same situation. That is freedom, energy.
What is the result:
Why can’t I do anything?
- We do not clearly define our true needs, and often even hide them from ourselves and others. As a result, our attention is scattered, or not directed at all.
- We act unconsciously on the basis of previous experience, including when this very experience is far from effective. Once in the past it worked, yes, so we are waiting for it to work again and again. So we walk in a circle.
- Alone, dealing with automatism “why nothing works” is difficult. Well, if there is a person nearby who points to “unconscious repetition,” and we will succeed in hearing him. The best option is to work with a professional, this is a chance to get rid of the fixation of the past life.