A relationship is a sanctuary between two people where they can be their true, unapologetic selves with zero fear of being judged.
And every relationship is based on certain fundamentals that help it run smoothly and keep it from running into glitches and obstacles. It’s really simple—if you don’t take care of your relationship, sooner or later it’s doomed to fail.
So if you want to keep your relationship healthy, happy, and make it last a long time, you should be aware of the things that have been proven to make all the difference when it comes to the quality and longevity of it.
After some time has passed, most couples get too comfortable with each other, so they forget to be cautious of certain things that are putting their relationship at high risk of an early and messy breakup.
In order to avoid any complications and maintain your idyllic relationship the way it is, be wary of these 5 most common relationship killers.
1. Poor communication skills
Let’s face it, we all believe that we’re really good at communicating and getting our points across, but the truth is, we all mess up and let the intensity of the situation get the better of us at times.
It’s almost too easy turning a normal discussion into a yelling session where nothing productive gets done, and all that’s achieved is getting you both that much more agitated and annoyed at each other.
Next time you want to snap at your man, try this. As annoying as he may be at that moment, count to ten, collect your thoughts, and listen to what he has to say for himself.
No interrupting, no yelling, and no pointing fingers.
Hear him out, and try to understand where he’s coming from. In turn, he’ll do the same for you. Peacefully talk it out whilst trying to find common ground as opposed to assigning blame, which leaves nobody happy.
2. Inability to fully trust each other, even when it means taking a leap of faith
If you can’t trust your partner, you’ll never be truly happy in your relationship. The whole point of partnership is knowing that you’ve got each other’s backs no matter what.
But it doesn’t work if you doubt every other thing he says and does, which is ultimately a toxic waste of your time.
Sometimes, being in a relationship means taking a huge leap of faith and believing them even when you have no proof that they’re telling the truth.
This is your person and your rock. Would he lie to you? I think you know the answer to this. So give him the benefit of the doubt, and trust that he’s making good decisions and keeping you in the loop.
Until he proves otherwise, choose to have faith in him and let yourself be happy without that unnecessary burden of suspiciousness.
3. Identifying yourself solely as somebody’s girlfriend
Maintaining your own identity throughout the course of your relationship is crucial for it to last and succeed.
It’s cute when you’re so close that you finish each other’s sentences and don’t mind just napping when you’re together with no need to actually do anything. It feels nice whatever you do, as long as you’re together.
But don’t let your girlfriend role be your whole identity!
Remember who you are outside of your relationship,m and keep doing your own thing. Don’t neglect your people and passions, and make sure to find a balance between your two worlds.
You’re an amazing girlfriend and that’s a fantastic part of your life, but there is so much more to you than just that. So don’t lose sight of your other world, and be true to yourself.
4. Making excuses for each other out of fear of being alone
Sure, there will be times where you’ll both screw up, and the adult thing to do is forgive, learn from it, and move on.
But when it comes to shitty behaviour and emotional abuse, you should absolutely never make an excuse for that type of behaviour. It is immeasurably better to be alone than with someone who demeans you.
Make sure you’re being treated right, and forgive only when your heart tells you it’s the right thing to do. If you sense your partner is genuinely sorry for certain actions that resulted in you being hurt, find it in your heart to forgive.
But never let it happen twice. One time is a mistake, two times – it’s a choice.
5. Not having each other’s backs through thick and thin
Sometimes, your partner will take on more than he can handle. At times, you won’t agree with his choices, but you need to let him do his thing, and if need be, let him learn from his mistakes.
You are supposed to support each other no matter what. Even when it feels like it’s a bad idea, let him try, and cheer him on as loudly as you can.
It’s important that you have his back and vice versa because without each other’s support, where would you be?
Be your partner’s biggest cheerleader, and show him that you’ve got him—always. If he fails, be his shoulder to cry on, and if he succeeds, be a proud girlfriend!
Sometimes, just being there and not interfering is the best thing you can do.
You won’t always agree with his choices, but that doesn’t mean you can’t root for him to succeed. Be there even when it’s hard to do, and he’ll do the same for you.