Dear ‘You’,

Thank you for being my ‘Almost Failure’. Thank you for saving me from the biggest mistake of my life. Thank you for placing me last every time. Thank you for being hot ’n’ cold. Thank you for saving me from all the pain I could have felt.

If you hadn’t been my ‘Almost Failure’, I would have experienced this almost relationship and this letter wouldn’t be a letter full of pride and joy for dodging the bullet, but a letter of the sorrow and pain of a heartbreak.

Now when I look back, I see it wasn’t all just your fault. I was purposely blind because I didn’t want to admit that we aren’t supposed to be together. You dragged me along, even though you knew you didn’t like me that much, but at that moment I was convenient, so you said, “What the Hell!”

I was there for you to kill some time. We went to the movies, to dinner, on dates – all of which I initiated. In this relationship where you dragged me along, promising me everything and giving me nothing, I dragged you to things you didn’t want to do – at least not with me.

You never reacted to any of those things. I never knew what you were thinking exactly. That’s where I made my biggest mistake – I filled in the blanks with my own thoughts and words and I tricked myself into believing it was true. I wanted it to be true. I wanted it so hard. But, of course, it was impossible.

However, this is my excuse and I think it’s a pretty good one. I was in love with you and I couldn’t accept that you weren’t in love with me. What’s your excuse for making me look like a complete fool?

Why did you make me your almost girlfriend? We could have gotten along. We could have shared interests. We could have chosen movies we could watch together. You could have spoken more. You could have said what you thought and how you felt.

You could have put more effort into trying to love me. We could have had it all. But, for a moment, I forgot this is not a heartbreak letter. This is a happy letter, a thank you note.

I know I’m not an almost girlfriend because I would fight for my man with everything I have. I’m the kind of girl any man would be lucky enough to have, to fight for. No one would be that stupid to miss out on this. You know why? Because when I love, I love with all of my heart and never with ‘almost’ my whole heart. You never got that and I thank you for not even trying.

I know I’m not an almost girlfriend because I would call my man every time I missed him. I would text him in the morning because I wanted to make his day better. And he would open the text and he would feel better because he loved me and my ‘I love you’ would mean the world to him. Thank you for being the complete opposite. Thank you for sparing me the lies that were disguised as love. Thank you for not even trying.

I know I’m not an almost girlfriend because I would use every given moment to show and tell my man how much he meant to me. I would be the happiest person alive. I would have never experienced walking alone with my face staring at my feet. I would never have enjoyed the cold and gray concrete which matched my heart and mind then – all because of you and your almost love. Thank you for making me walk those cold streets, dwelling over what I did wrong, because I finally understood that it wasn’t me. You were the problem. Thank you for not even trying.

I know I’m not an almost girlfriend because I would never need to make stupid excuses. I would never lie to my man or make him feel like a piece of shit. I would never drag him along. If I were like you, I would never have given him the time of day. Thank you for giving me that spare time you had to kill. Thank you for making me realize all the things I would have never done. Thank you for not even trying.

I know I’m not an almost girlfriend because I would challenge my man. I would have tried to make him better because I would know he could be better. I would have known he was a diamond in the rough and he needed just the touch of my hand, a deep gaze into his eyes, to break through his limits. You never saw any potential in me. You only saw a girl as ordinary as any other. The man who will love me will see me as his everything, not something that came along the way. You never cared, so thank you for that. Thank you for not even trying.

I know I’m not an almost girlfriend because I would never put someone I love last. I would have chosen him over anything. I couldn’t do differently because I just couldn’t. He would have been my whole world, he would have been someone I wanted to wake up next to every day for the rest of my life. Why would I neglect him and put him last? Have you ever thought of me that way? Of course you haven’t so thank you for that. Thank you for not giving me the time of day. Thank you for not even trying.

This is really not a letter written on a tear-soaked keyboard. This is a letter written with smiley eyes and a heart full of desire and excitement to meet the one who will be your complete opposite.

Thank you for showing me what I don’t want.

Thank you for saving me from the pain.

Thank you for saving me from yourself.

Thank you for not even trying.


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