She thought that this time you really have disappeared from her life.
For it is hard to believe that the man of your heart is so stubbornly trying to hurt you, to act on his ego and out of pure pastime, regardless of your feelings.
She was sitting there desperately mourning the loss, even though you two were not in any real relationship, but when you have feelings for someone, the pain is always the same. When you fall in love, it does not matter what you have with this person – it hurts and it is even harder to heal.
How do you miss a person you never belonged to?
Because that’s exactly what she felt.
You remember all the good moments, nice conversations and every situation with this person that made you laugh.
But the part you omit are all the bad moments that hurt her.
Then your name appeared in the middle of the night on her phone. Normally, she does not hear any noise while sleeping, but this time she woke up immediately. She wondered why you are contacting her right now if she has nothing more to tell you.
So she went back to bed, but your name reappeared on her phone a few days later. This time, you started the conversation in a different way. As if you knew exactly what to say to answer.
And the truth is that she had a great desire to answer you.
She wanted to talk to you and know how you are. She wanted to tell you everything that is going on in her life since you left her. But she took all her courage and tried to throw away her fantasies of a relationship with you to no longer be her slave, which has always fallen into the hope and eventually broke it again.
She should have gotten used to the fact that you’re the type of man who can not stand it in a relationship for long, but she has never been so good with farewells.
You never really left, just wanted to choose when to come and when to go.
She did not respond to your message, but not because she did not want to talk to you or because you did not care about her anymore.
She can probably tell you how many days she has been waiting for you to contact her. She was waiting for you to pay her a little attention. But after a few ignored messages, everything became clear to her.
The reason for her silence was not a sign of disrespect. She did not want to take revenge on you. She did not want to play games according to your rules that you changed so often, just when she thought she had gotten to know you well.
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She did not respond to your message because she was too hurt to do so. She did not want to feel the pain again, because that was the only thing you ever gave her. She has lost the hope that you will change and one day you will look upon her as someone who deserves to be treated with love and respect.
She kept writing you a message, but you just ignored her.
But when you wrote her, she had a habit of answering you immediately. After that you have decided when you want to pay attention to her.
This was like a game she did not even want to attend. You just served her your game rules and told you it was okay to deal with her like that.
You had complete control over them and always did what you wanted.
She had to ignore you for her own sake, even though it hurt her very much to do so.
She was aware that she was never allowed to send you the news she wrote.
That’s what happened when she tried to ignore you, because she used to pay attention to you in the past and took the trouble to make you notice her, but you just neglected her. Their efforts were not perceived or appreciated.
Every time she tried to do you a favor, she felt so empty.
She felt as if she was unable to relate to you.
You’ve tried to make her feel hard to love, even though you were really the one who was unable to love her in the right way.
Now that she’s not around you, you may start to value her more.
You should not have allowed her to leave you to see that. But still she had to do that.
You knew you did not have to change because she always responded to your messages.
She gave you part of her heart, but you behaved as if that did not matter. That is, every time you leave, you have lost an important part of yourself. She also felt a great pain because she knew that you would think you could come back to her whenever you wish.
She had to ignore you for her own sake because she was hurt every time she did not.