Are signs of obsession easy to spot?
It really feels great when you have someone special by your side, someone you truly care about and who cares about you. It is amazing when the man in your life is everything that you have been dreaming of and that he gives you all of his love and support.
But there are people who can easily get obsessed with their partner and turn their love into obsessive love. They become the ones who chase them, ghost them, suffocate them. The ones who don’t let them have their free time or spend some time with family members and friends.
There are guys who act pretty normal at the beginning of a relationship but later, for some reason, they start being controlling. They start to manipulate, convincing their partners that they don’t need anyone and that they are the only person they need in their life. Those men can be very dangerous because what they feel is not love. They are some of the extreme cases where love turns into an obsessive relationship and the other person in it has no idea she’s dealing with an obsessed person.
If you have a partner who was normal at the beginning of your relationship but who changed over time and he doesn’t make you feel good now, leave him. Your relationship with him won’t get any better. It will only get worse. And the worst thing is that you can’t do anything about that. You can’t change him. Only he can change his obsessive behavior if he decides it is time for that.
If you are not quite sure if your man is obsessed with you, here are some warning signs of obsessive love:
1. He is too clingy
I know it feels nice when he spends a lot of time with you at the beginning of your relationship. But when it is too much, it is simply too much. He needs to understand that you have your own life and that sometimes you might feel like being alone. We all need some alone time and time we can spend just with our friends and family.
A guy who doesn’t want to accept your relationships with your friends and family probably has mental health issues connected to obsessive-compulsive behavior. That kind of relationship is not healthy, so you better burn the bridges between the two of you before it is too late. The last thing you need on your hands is a low-self-esteem followed by a broken heart and your soul torn apart into a million pieces!
2. He bombs you with messages
It is sweet to get a ‘good morning’ message from your sweetheart but if he keeps texting you every fifteen minutes, it is a little bit pushy. He needs to understand that he is not the center of your world and that there are so many things going on in your life.
He can spend time with his friends or family as well. He can find a hobby or do something that fulfills him. But he can’t suffocate you in that way.
If he continues to do that, you will feel bad in that relationship and you will wish you had never met him. It is okay to send you a message while you are at work to ask something important but asking you about some things that don’t matter simply doesn’t make any sense.
Answering all those texts will take a lot of time, especially if he’s bombarding you on social media as well, and you won’t be able to focus on your work. That is why you need to set some boundaries because if you don’t do it now, you will have problems later.
And if he can’t understand that, then he is not worthy of your love and your love is not healthy love. Only a man who understands you and who knows that you are working hard will never do something like this to you.
3. You are his role model
It is great when you are a role model to someone but it is a little bit strange when your man tells you that after your first meeting. That right there is a sign screaming of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
I mean, come on, he hasn’t gotten to know you well yet—how can he judge a book by its cover? His behavior is showing pure infatuation, mixed with obsession.
If you catch yourself in a situation like this, please think twice about whether he is the man you want to go on a second date with or maybe even spend your life with.
It is just a sign that he doesn’t have any life experience and that he doesn’t know anything about love. While you are with him, you should feel good in your own skin but if you are not feeling that way, maybe he is simply not the one and you should break up with him.
Bear in mind that you need to have a man who will be totally independent and not someone who will come to you to solve every problem he has.
4. If you reject him he gets angry
This is one of the most common signs that he is obsessing over you. He just can’t understand that, “No,” means, “No.” And he needs to understand that. If you are not feeling like doing something, he can’t just think about himself only.
He needs to let you go to do things in your own way. That is a good thing and we all need it, even if we are in a relationship. Your free time is what you need and what you deserve so don’t let a guy tell you what you have to do.
It is not good or healthy so you need to make some rules if you want your relationship to last.
No matter how much he says that he loves you, he won’t admit that he is wrong. If you catch yourself in a situation like this, try to talk to him in a normal and calm way. If that doesn’t work, I guess he is not the right man for you!
Bu, don’t worry, there are a lot of people out there who are your perfect match and most importantly, are ready to make you the object of their affection—but in a healthy way.
5. He says he will kill himself if you leave him
Oh, that sneaky bastard! He is just blackmailing you because he knows that you love him and that you won’t let him do any harm to himself. He is not the kind of man you need in your life.
If he does that at the beginning of your relationship, you can just imagine what he will do once things become serious. He needs to know that he can’t do that to you and later tell you he loves you. That is not love, it is manipulation and it is not healthy.
He is just a manipulative a**hole who tries to keep you close and suck out all your positive energy. The truth is that he doesn’t have the guts to kill himself and all those stories are just a show for you.
I hope you are clever enough not to buy into this shit because a loved one would never say something like that. The things he says and does are pure BS!
6. He stalks you
This is an undeniable sign that he is obsessed with you. He will check you at work, go uninvited to the parties you have with the girls and say it was just a coincidence. Cut the crap! This guy is a stalker and he does that because he is insane. It first starts with small things, then it gets bigger and more serious.
You should think twice if he is the kind of man you want in your life. Let’s be honest, the situation can only get worse, to the point where you should be seriously considering getting a restraining order. It’s usually how these relationships end.
7. He insists you are his soulmate
A guy who talks about marriage and kids after the first date is not a mentally healthy person. Okay, we have all daydreamed about our wedding day with some hot dude we saw on the street but to actually go up to that person and start talking about it, that’s insane!
He doesn’t care how that makes you feel, because in his head it’s a completely normal thing to do. He ‘knows’ that you’re the one for him, he has to be the one for you, right? Hell no!
This is one of the most disturbing signs that he is obsessed with you. He created a scenario about the two of you in his head where everything is ideal but he forgot one thing—to ask for your opinion. What he needs to do is get his shit together before he loses an awesome girl like you.
8. He checks your phone
This is a sign of obsession but it is also a sign of both insecurity and jealousy. If he reads the messages you sent to other people, he probably just wants to find out if you like other men because he knows that you will always tell your best friend everything that happens in your life. So he uses the time when you are not around to go through your phone.
He does not respect your privacy because in his head it’s completely normal to share everything and he needs to know how you feel exactly and what you have been doing throughout the day. He is insecure and that is the only reason he does that to you. Well, that and because of the personality disorder he’s suffering from.
If you ever catch him doing this, you two need to sit down and have a long and serious talk. He needs to know that you want a man who will love you and support you—not an egomaniac who will freak out every single time you do something that he doesn’t like!
Maybe it will all stop with jealousy but what if he starts being abusive? What if he starts hitting you every time you don’t do what he wants? These are the things you need to think about before it is too late.
9. He says, “Yes,” to everything you ask
It is a little bit boring when your man says, “Yes,” to everything that you have to say. I am not saying that the two of you can’t have the same opinion about something, I am just saying you can’t do that all the time.
After all, you are a woman and he is a man. It is normal that you don’t think the same. That is what makes you unique as a couple!
If you feel he doesn’t want to say what he thinks just so you wouldn’t get angry, it is a sign of obsession. A guy like this will put up with all the things he doesn’t like about you and he will explode one day.
And the only victim in all this will be you. I suggest you talk to him openly and tell him that he can be honest with you even if the two of you don’t want the same thing. That is how problems are solved in healthy relationships.
10. He is there even if you treat him badly
He won’t get out of your life even if you treat him badly. He will stick around even if you tell him you need some time alone.
He will call you, send you messages and buy you gifts. This is a sign that he doesn’t have any self-respect and that he would do anything to be with you again, no matter how poorly you treat him.
This is a big, red flag, a sign of obsession, so be prepared that you won’t be able to get away from him so easily. If this is not a sign of mental illness, I don’t know what is!