The old saying ‘love is blind’ is there for a reason. When we are in love we tend to ignore obvious signs that are right in front of us. So we let the people we love exploit our good nature without even realizing it.
Worst of all is that this keep repeating in almost every relationship you ever had. Somehow it seems that you are on the losing end in this game of love and it’s time to turn things around.
Being too good can bring you a lot of pain. People will take advantage of it if you let them. All of a sudden you are nothing more than a doormat in your relationship because you allow people you care about to mistreat you.
The first thing you should stop doing is being too compliant. You don’t have to say yes to everything your partner says. It just puts you in a subordinate position, when in fact you should be equals in every aspect of your relationship.
Stop doing things you don’t like just to please him. Compromise is OK but it should go both ways. If he never makes an effort to do things that interest you, it’s high time to learn to say ‘NO’.
Don’t be afraid of confrontation. If you are letting things pass just to avoid fighting, you will just make things worse. Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself. Fighting is a normal part of every relationship and it’s good for getting him to see your viewpoint and making things that bother either of you to change.
Be open about your feelings. Don’t keep them bottled up inside. It just hurts you both physically and mentally. Speak your mind, he can’t read your thoughts. You will get that freeing sensation when you put it all out in the open.
Don’t be afraid to lose him. He can see your fear and it gives him power over you. He thinks he can do anything he wants and you will stay there. He can cancel plans, cheat, be rude to you and he can lie; no matter what, you will be there, no questions asked.
If you show him you are more than capable of living without him and have no fear of losing him, the best odds are he will make an effort, give his best and stay. If he doesn’t then you are better off, and don’t you doubt it for a second.
The other thing you should stop doing is being too available. It sends the message that you have nothing better to do but wait for him. So, next time he calls you out of the blue at 10pm and asks if you can grab a drink. Say, ‘Sorry, I am busy. You should have called sooner’. Respect your time. And make him respect it too.
Nothing will change if you don’t change. It’s time to stand up for yourself and stop being a doormat in your relationships. You shouldn’t be selfish either, but you should expect the goodness, love, and respect you give to be reciprocated. You have to demand the respect you deserve. You have to love yourself to be loved back.
The way your partner treats you is the way you teach him to treat you. If you allow everything to happen without your guidance, he will take advantage. Even if he doesn’t want to, it’s incorporated deep down in human nature and most of the time it prevails. Keep in mind things will play the way you allow them to.
Take things into your own hands, do your thing, focus on your goals and sit back and observe how he suddenly arranges his time to fit your schedule. How he makes compromises and finds ways to make you happy.
Remember: if feelings, efforts, and investments put into a relationship are not reciprocated, you are in the wrong relationship.