There is nothing worse or more painful than having the person you knew the best slowly turn into someone you used to know. There is nothing worse than looking at someone you connected with on so many levels and not recognizing him anymore.
There isn’t anything worse than loving someone but having to let him go. And this is how I feel about you and about us now.
I honestly don’t know what happened to us. We were soulmates, we used to understand each other with one simple look, you had my back and I had yours always. I didn’t even need to think twice about what I meant to you, I knew I was your world, as I knew you were mine.
You used to respect me much more. I was your priority and no matter what happened, you always took my side. You never allowed anyone to talk badly behind my back. You trusted me way more, you loved me way more and you appreciated me much more than you do now.
We were partners. We shared everything and there wasn’t a single struggle we didn’t overcome together.
I used to lie awake at night and thank God for sending you my way. You were every woman’s dream. And I hoped we’d stay the way we were till the end of our lives. Only you could make me feel like I was the only woman in this world and honestly, nobody else made me feel the way you did, not now, not ever.
But, little by little, our fairy tale started fading away. We became more like those miserable couples who already spent their lives together and who were just fed up with each other. And that’s exactly what happened. We got fed up with each other. We started taking each other for granted.
You no longer cared to impress me. You no longer cared whether I was happy or miserable. You’d rather spend your time with someone else, while on the other side I’d give anything just to have you next to me, as happy and as committed to me as you used to be.
You no longer laugh at my jokes. Nothing I do is enough for you. The things that amused you before about me no longer awake any kind of emotions in you. No matter what I do, I can’t bring the old you back. And frankly speaking, living with this new you is like living with a roommate who you don’t like. You do all the chores together but you just avoid each other and hate each other’s presence.
I wonder, where did that burning desire we had for each other go?
Don’t get me wrong, I still love you. When you’re near me I just want to run my hand through your hair. I just want you to pull me into your arms and to hug me. I still yearn for your lips pressed to mine. I’d still give my life for you.
The only future I see is with you. And I want to be next to you regardless of how miserable I feel. But I think we both deserve more than this.
See, I still love you but I no longer like you. I don’t like this person you’ve become. I don’t like this man who doesn’t see me. I don’t like this man who’s taking me for granted. I don’t like this man who chooses everyone else over me. I don’t like this man who’s making me feel like I’m no longer loved or wanted.
We’re both miserable in this relationship and that’s why I need to let you go.
I need to let you go for the sake of our past. For the sake of all those beautiful moments, for the sake of our love. I don’t want to stay long enough to wait until each and every nice moment we had is replaced by those ugly ones. I don’t want to forget what we had. But you can’t expect me to let you live on the glory of past days. I know how capable of loving you are and that’s why I’m not settling for this, what you’re giving me now.
Holding on brings us no good. Someone needs to be brave enough to say goodbye and to pull us out of this vortex of toxicity we’ve fallen into. It might as well be me.
When you find you again, I’ll be waiting.
This is not a goodbye so please don’t look it like that. It’s just a small let’s catch up later. Find your way back to me when you’re a better version of yourself and I’ll be waiting for you to come back to me when I’m a better version of myself.
When you start taking your partner for granted and there is nothing else you haven’t already done then there is one last thing to try. Show him what your lives would look like without each other. And that’s exactly what I’m doing now.
I’m walking away and I’m letting you go. I’m distancing myself from you as I have no other options left. If you care, you’ll wake up just like I did. If you still love me, you’ll reach back out for me. And I promise I’ll be there to take your hand.
Find me again when you’re the same man I fell for. Because you who you are now is neither someone I recognize nor someone I want to spend my life with.