You’ve met through a dating app (possibly Tinder) or texting and things have really been going well!
You spend time together, do little things for each other, and you’ve taken things to the next level quite fast.
And now, being with someone else at this point seems so crazy!
So far, there are no red flags, and even though he’s a new guy in your life, you feel incredibly comfortable in his company.
And all your best friends are giving you a hard time because lately you’ve been ditching them for your new relationship (although you’re not sure if you should be calling it that quite yet…)
Usually, you’re not one for online dating, but with this guy, it isn’t a big deal as he’s genuinely the same guy his Tinder profile said he was.
There are good signs about him everywhere you look, but you’re just so hesitant to call him your boyfriend, even though he legit feels like one.
How do you figure it out once and for all without having to straight-up ask him?
Defining The Relationship
The beginnings of a relationship are always the most exciting, fun, and unpredictable, while at the same time so daunting and scary, as you never know if you’re on the same page.
How do you know when you can call someone your boyfriend/girlfriend?
How do you go from being good friends to a committed relationship with a smooth, clear transition?
What has to happen for a person you’ve known since high school (or just met recently met through social media) to become your boyfriend?
Well, there are a few things that have to happen in order to be able to call the person you’ve been seeing your boyfriend, even if it’s still a very new relationship.
Firstly, you should be spending lots of time together and texting/calling on a regular basis.
There has to be some sort of a connection and eagerness to see each other, otherwise it’s doomed from the get-go.
I know this firsthand. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked myself that pesky question.
Is he my boyfriend? Are we finally official?
More often than not, I’d be rushing into things without really having a good grasp of what a relationship actually is.
So now, I can say I’ve got a fair amount of experience with that gray area to know when things are taking a turn for the better and when you’re just living in fantasy land.
I’m going to share with you a lot of useful bits from my colorful personal experience, along with some solid relationship advice I got in the process.
Is he my boyfriend?
is one of the most perplexing things a girl can ask herself, and everyone deserves to know the truth, no matter how pretty or difficult it may be to swallow.
A healthy relationship forgoes the what-ifs because, with the right man, you always know where you stand.
And since sometimes, discerning his signals and figuring out where it’s going can be challenging due to a sudden rush of all kinds of emotions, I’ll help you discover the status of your relationship.
You’ll never have to wonder if he’s your boyfriend again because these signs will tell you once and for all.
1. He actually makes an effort to see you
It’s the little things like this that make it truly count.
See, if a man wants to see you, he’ll move mountains if need be.
And if he doesn’t, he’ll just keep making excuses.
People make time for who they want to make time for!
Does your man plan date nights?
Does he take time out of his busy schedule to spend time with you without making you feel guilty?
Those are all signs of a great boyfriend in the making.
He makes you feel wanted and appreciated, and you enjoy every second spent in his company.
It’s easy to let the girl organize everything and just show up (if that).
But a guy who makes plans, sticks to what he says, and never makes excuses is a guy you can consider a true, legit boyfriend.
2. He calls you regularly
Texting is SO last year! Just kidding.
Texting is cool and all, but when a guy is serious about you, at some point, phone calls are going to become a regular thing!
It goes without saying that you’re probably texting all the time, but as the relationship progresses, you should start calling each other a bit more often.
So if your guy doesn’t mind picking up the phone and having an actual conversation (aside from texting of course) every now and then, you’re probably on the track to a healthy relationship!
I’ll be the first to admit that phone calls aren’t my favorite thing in the world, but with an actual boyfriend, they’re a necessity.
3. You have brunch together
Having date nights is SO important for your relationship.
You need to spend time together in order to build and strengthen that connection.
But day dates are just as important (if not more).
Meeting up for brunch means actually wanting to see each other early on in the day and that means something.
Going out at night always includes drinks, possibly other people, and lots of music and excitement.
But brunch signifies a nice, meaningful meal between two people where you can have an actual conversation while completely sober and fresh out of bed.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t have brunch with casual hook-ups.
So if your man takes you out during the early hours of the day, his intentions are pretty clear (he wants to be your boyfriend!)
4. You don’t spend all your time in the bedroom
S** is a vital aspect of any relationship and whoever says that it doesn’t play a big role is lying.
You need to be s**ually compatible, otherwise, there’s no chance you’ll make it work.
There’s always room for improvement, but if your needs aren’t met and it feels weird and wrong, you’re not with the right dude.
So now that we’ve cleared that up, make sure you click on ALL levels and never settle for mediocre s**.
When you find a guy who gives you what you need and satisfies your desires in the bedroom, that’s the real deal.
But s** is not ALL your relationship revolves around.
You need to be able to spend quality time outside of the bedroom as well!
Spending time out in the sun, perhaps enjoying a hobby together, or just watching TV and feeling happy and at peace.
When time spent outside the bedroom is as good as the time spent IN it, then you know you’re officially a couple!
5. You’ve met each other’s family and friends
First thing that’s important to note is the vast difference between women and men when it comes to chatting about their new boyfriend/girlfriend.
It’s highly unlikely that a man will go on about you to his family and friends as much as you will because men don’t have that need to talk about everything with their best friends like girls do.
So you shouldn’t be worried if you haven’t met all of his buddies and still don’t know his entire family.
You’ll get there.
As long as you know at least one or two close friends and perhaps his sister or any other immediate family member.
Guys don’t put that much thought into these things, so don’t worry about it too much.
You probably obsess over it way more than he does and he plans on bringing you home at some point, but there’s no rush on his part because, as I’ve said, guys just don’t care about it too much.
6. He doesn’t mind PDA
This doesn’t mean that every guy has to be into PDA (because they’re not) but if your man is into this, then you’ve got a keeper!
A man who can hold your hand and kiss your cheek as you’re strolling down the street is a man who’s happy to show the world his love toward you.
When a guy can hug you, hold you, and give you a huge smooch anywhere public, without caring who’ll see and what they’ll think, now that’s a guy who’s quite clearly head over heels for you.
Not all guys will do that (and it doesn’t have to mean anything) but if yours does, he’s one proud boyfriend who you should stay close to!
7. You can talk about literally anything with him
One of my most favorite things about people is being able to talk freely with someone with no holding back.
I’ve had a boyfriend that was my lover, my life partner, and my best friend all in one.
Talking to him was such a dream and I could have conversations with him about literally anything and never get tired of him.
He challenged me intellectually, didn’t fear defying me, and always told me the truth.
Talking to him was a breath of fresh air, as people like him don’t come by very often.
How do you feel around your guy?
Do your conversations fulfill you and do you enjoy chatting to him about the most random things?
Does he tell you his secrets and do you share your deepest fears with him?
The conversation is a vital part of a relationship, and if you can talk to him about anything, anytime, then you know you two are a legit couple.
8. He talks about you in the future tense
A guy with no intention to stay in your life will never make future plans with you.
He’ll never insinuate that there’s a future together because he knows there isn’t one.
But when a guy says ”we” instead of ”I” when making plans or talking about his dreams, that tells you everything you need to know.
This guy wants you to stick around.
He sees you in his future plans and whenever he’s talking about where he sees himself, later on, he always pictures you there too.
Isn’t that all the reassurance you need? For me, there isn’t a sweeter thing in the world than a man planning a future around you and making sure you know it.
9. You’re comfortable being dressed down around him
When you first started seeing each other, you were always dressed to the nines and your makeup was always on point.
You’d enjoy dressing up for him and you’d never let him see you in your natural state (puffy eyes, baggy clothes, and a messy bun).
But lately, you’ve stopped caring about all that.
Now, you feel so comfortable being completely yourself around him.
You used to dread being seen without makeup, but now you couldn’t care less.
He makes you feel pretty at all times.
A few months ago it would’ve been a no-go on letting him see you in your oversized T-shirt and your home-edition leggings, but now that’s mostly how he sees you and you love it!
Don’t get me wrong, dressing up for your man is really nice from time to time, but being your messy self around him is so much more important because that’s simply you!
And if you feel loved in all of your versions, you’ve got yourself a real one.
10. He knows all your friends and your relationships with them
He keeps track of all your girls and what they do.
He knows them all by name and he’d be able to tell you the ones you’re closest to and which ones have been getting on your last nerve lately.
He actually listens when you talk about them, and offers feedback.
So he knows that Laura is like a sister to you and that you’d do anything for her.
He knows all about Jenny’s latest hookup and the embarrassing story behind it (no judgment, though!)
He knows how quirky Samantha and Emma are, and he’s already used to their dry sense of humor.
He genuinely cares about knowing them because they mean a lot to you, ergo, they’re important to him too.
It feels nice being able to talk about them to him, knowing he actually gets you and has useful advice when you need it.
11. He has a toothbrush at your place
A toothbrush is never just that.
It means this guy knows he’s going to spend time at your place a lot, and he came prepared!
Leaving things at each other’s place means that the relationship is moving in the right direction.
This is a big deal! If you have a drawer specifically for him and vice versa, you’re one step closer to moving in together.
The pace is right, the intentions are clear and your willingness to leave stuff over (knowing it’s more than okay) means you’ve become a legit boyfriend/girlfriend.
Leaving things over is basically making a sweet excuse to go see them as much as possible (not that you need an excuse).
If your man plays video games at your place, laid back on your couch, and you can do your nails at his, you’ve entered the relationship zone.
12. He calls you sweet, affectionate names
When you’re in a committed relationship, it goes without saying that you develop cute pet names for each other and it simply becomes a habit to call each other those things.
It’s not uncommon to prefer calling him ”babe” instead of his actual names because you simply adore him too much.
And in turn, he calls you your own special pet names that you simply melt over!
13. He respects and encourages you
A lot of men who aren’t serious in their intentions don’t really care about your ambitions and goals, and your journey to achieving them.
They just want one thing from you and they’re good to go.
But a man worthy of the boyfriend title is a whole different story.
This man cares about what you do with your life.
He doesn’t let you give up on yourself and he pushes you to the ends of your abilities.
He genuinely wants you to succeed because your happiness is his happiness.
A healthy relationship means two people loving each other through the good and bad and lifting each other up.
If your man is the wind beneath your wings, you’ve got yourself a real boyfriend.
14. He doesn’t present you with ultimatums
Guys can be really weird and annoying about girls and their careers.
Not all guys are respectful of their girl’s ambitions and they often resort to ultimatums if they don’t get enough attention due to their girl’s busy schedule.
That’s a whole thing right there, but we’re going to focus on those small select few who understand that women have jobs and dreams too, and don’t hold it against them.
A guy worthy of calling himself your boyfriend will never make you choose between him and your job, or between any two things for that matter.
Your boyfriend will get that you can do more things at the same time and succeed in all areas.
He’ll understand that he’s not your only priority in life but he’s very high on your list.
If, and only if you’ve got a guy who truly gets this, you can call him your boyfriend.
15. He’s the reason for constant joy in your life
At the end of the day, we all just yearn for that special someone who’ll bring joy and peace to our lives.
No stress, no anxiety, and no mixed signals pointing to a break-up.
Being around this person should be like a spark being reignited every time you see him.
His presence should bring you immediate happiness and relief.
If it doesn’t, it’s honestly not worth it.
Life’s too short to spend time on people who cause you stress more than they actually make you happy.
Don’t be afraid to admit to yourself that you simply crave joy and peace.
If this guy makes you feel all tingly on the inside and brings a smile to your face the minute you lock eyes, you’ve found yourself a keeper.
Wrapping It Up
After carefully going through all of the signs above, I hope you’ve been able to figure out the status of your relationship and if your man is indeed worthy of being called your boyfriend.
The first thing you should take away from this article is that it’s okay to put yourself first.
It’s okay to expect all those things because you deserve that, and more.
At some point in life, you realize that it’s so insane sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of someone who doesn’t give you half the effort that you give him.
If you’ve got a guy who checks most of these boxes, then you’ve snagged yourself a real, kind, respectful boyfriend.
Never settle for less. Never lie to yourself in hopes of him changing for the better.
If he doesn’t hold your hand when you’re struggling and never lifts you up when you’re down, he’s not your man.
Be with someone who’ll make you a priority when everything is making it difficult to put you first.
Be with a man who’ll always make time for you without checking his schedule, because that’s the sign of a man who’s irrevocably in love with you.
And that’s the only type of man you should ever be with.