In 2020, I’m starting all over. I’m giving myself a break, another chance to start from the beginning. I’m going to plan my moves and revisit my goals and dreams. I’m going to get myself together because of myself and the people I love.
This year, it’s going to be a new me, an improved version of myself. I’m going to take a leap into the future and go into the unknown. I don’t know what is ahead of me, but I’m not scared. I’m ready for whatever awaits me.
This year I’m going to be bold enough to try the things I’ve always been scared of. This year is going to be my year.
In 2020, I’m going to be kind to myself. I’m going to be smarter. I’m not letting the demons from the past come with me into the new year. I’m leaving them locked in another dimension, in another world, in a chapter that I was finished with.
Just like when I putting a full stop (a period) on the paper to finish my sentence, to end my train of thought, I’m going to finish that chapter and imprison my past with that one tiny dot, that one punctuation mark.
In 2020, I’m forgiving myself. I’m leaving behind all the mistakes I’ve made. I’m forgiving myself for all the heartbreak I had. I forgive myself for trusting people I shouldn’t have trusted and letting down my guard so easily.
I’m forgiving people who hurt me, and I’m forgiving myself for taking for granted people who love me. I’m done holding a grudge because of all the failed relationships I had, for the ones that slipped away from me and the ones which left big scars.
I’m forgiving myself for all the souls I’ve stirred and all the eyes I made cry. I forgive those who kept me awake at night, sobbing in my room. I forgive myself, and I forgive them.
I’m forgiving my past for being so ugly and horrible. I’m forgiving myself for the poor decisions I made.
In 2019, I’m going to believe in myself. I believe that I can do whatever I want to do. I believe that there is a lot of strength in me which was tamed and couldn’t get out because of the fear—a fear of the unknown, a fear of judgment, a fear of abandonment.
This year I believe that my flaws are not my shortcoming. This year I believe that I’m special, a person that is one of a kind, someone who can change the world.
Not only am I believing in myself, but I’m believing in people, too. I believe that there are good people out there, people who want to be your sincere friends, people who love you without any reason, people who care about you.
There are those with kind and big hearts, and I believe I will find them. I know they are going to be right by my side when another storm crashes over me, when a new dose of pain encounters me.
In 2020, I’m going to stay true to myself. I’m not going to lie to make my life easier. I’m not going to turn my head to the other way side and ignore what’s bothering me. I’m going to deal with everything and everyone because that is the only way I can keep my soul and my heart pure and uncorrupted.
When I’m not okay, I’m going to say it. I’m not going to put on a false smile and pretend I’m the happiest person alive if I’m falling apart on the inside. It’s not about being strong; it’s about staying true to yourself. I’m not going to trick my own mind into thinking that everything is okay.
I’m going to be honest and true to the people who are around me. I know that I’ll lose a lot of them, but the ones worth having will stick around.
In 2020, I’m going to become the person I’ve always wanted to be. This year I don’t care what people are going to say. This year I’m going to listen to myself. I’m not going to force myself to do things that are not meant to be.
I’m going to take risks and go into the unknown. I’m going to embrace everything that destiny has in store for me. I will cry. I will love. I will keep on trying.
In 2020, I’m going to give myself a break. After everything I’ve been through, I deserve to get some rest. I deserve something nice to happen to me. Heck, I deserve a standing ovation!
I deserve to be admired—not because I’m perfect, not because I’ve done something right, but because I’ve survived, because I got up from bed every day. Instead of walking from one day to another, I was crawling. But I never stopped. I never said I can’t move one inch further. I fought like a lioness and I’m still fighting.
This year, I want to start from scratch. I want to change my life for the better. I deserve it, and so do you.
Maria Parker wrote a book to help people deal with narcissistic exes called ‘On Getting Over A Narcissist’