“We need to talk.” “Let’s get married.” “It’s amazing to be with you.” These are all phrases that girls hear their boyfriends say at one point or another. While no one wants to hear the first phrase since that signals a breakup, the other two statements are romantic and wonderful.
Time and time again, we hear that couples need to work on their communication skills. Honestly, sometimes it can be hard to really tell our boyfriend how we feel (even if we’re just asking him to pick up some toilet paper because we’re tired or having a busy week). He could be the sweetest, most amazing guy and we still struggle to find the right words.
But we always want to be honest with the person that we’re in a relationship with and tell him how we think things are going. We don’t want to ignore any problems. We want him to be open with us all of the time. And sometimes, if this isn’t the love story that we’re actually supposed to be a part of, we’re going to hear our boyfriend say certain things that mean it’s time to break up.
If our boyfriend tells us these 20 things, it’s time to end the relationship.
20- ‘I’m Not Sure I Ever Want To Get Married’
It’s a common story: our boyfriend tells us that he doesn’t want to get married and we assume that if we stay with him for another year, he’ll change his mind on the subject. He can’t really mean it, can he? Doesn’t he just mean that he doesn’t want to get married in the next few months?
If our boyfriend tells us “I’m not sure I ever want to get married” we need to listen to him. And we also need to end the relationship. People don’t change their minds when it comes to something as important as marriage. If he wanted to marry us, he would buy a ring and propose. We have to remember that.
19- ‘I Need To Hang Out With My Friends Every Weekend’
Once we’re in a good relationship, we realize all of the time that we spent alone before they came along, especially on the weekends. Of course, we enjoyed a good Sex and the City binge-watch on a Saturday night… but we probably also wished that we could cuddle with someone.
Now that we have a serious boyfriend, we want to see him on the weekends. It’s the best time of the week to hang out together. If our boyfriend tells us, “I need to hang out with my friends every weekend” it could make us feel that he doesn’t want to devote that much time to us. It seems like he’s choosing his friends over us, his girlfriend. And it’s time to end the relationship.
18- ‘Why Do You Have To Get Up So Early And Work Out On The Weekends?’
Living a healthy lifestyle isn’t always easy. It takes a lot of dedication, like waking up at 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning in order to make it to a workout class. Sure, we would rather sleep in, but we made a promise to ourselves that we would work out several times a week, and we really want to keep that promise. We feel awesome when we take care of ourselves.
If our boyfriend asks us, “Why do you have to get up so early and work out on the weekends?” he’s being totally unfair. He isn’t supporting us and our commitment to being healthy. He should think that what we’re doing is awesome. If we hear him say this, it’s time to break up.
17- ‘I Get That She’s Your Best Friend, But I Don’t Think She Likes Me’
Hearing our boyfriend say that our best friend doesn’t like him would show us that he’s really insecure. It would be a strange thing to hear him say and it would make us think that he wants to stir up some drama or tension.
This is something else he could say that would show us that the relationship isn’t good for us. We want to be with someone who cares about our friends and is polite to them, and it doesn’t make any sense for him to say this about our BFF. Chances are, she’s been nothing but nice to him, so he has no reason to say this.
16- ‘I Really Care About You, But I’m Not Sure I’m In Love With You’
Sometimes, a character in a movie or on a TV show will say something like, “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” It always sounds super weird, right? How could that be possible?
If we ever find ourselves in a situation where our boyfriend tells us “I really care about you but I’m not in love with you,” that means that it’s time to call it quits. No matter how much we love him, we can’t stay with someone who doesn’t feel the same way about us. We deserve to be in a relationship that is equal and amazing. Instead of hoping that he falls more in love with us as time goes on, we should make a clean break and find someone who is a better match for us.
15- ‘Can We Wait Before Moving In Together?’
We might have a best friend who doesn’t want to live with anyone and is perfectly happy living the independent life in her own apartment. While that’s cool for her, we probably want to move in with our boyfriend after enough time has gone by.
Couples move in together for many reasons, but mostly it’s to share rent and see each other more often. And going back and forth between each other’s places can get pretty exhausting. If we hear our boyfriend ask us, “Can we wait before moving in together?” that’s not what we want to hear. By the time that we’re ready to live with him, we want him to feel the same way. This is his way of saying that he doesn’t want to commit.
14- ‘You’re Acting A Bit Clingy These Days’
If our boyfriend says, “You’re acting a bit clingy these days,” we not only want to dump him but we’re also going to be really mad at him.
How could he say this to us?! Chances are, we’re not being clingy at all. All we’re doing is trying to love him and show that we care about him, which is what any normal girlfriend would do. Instead of trying to convince him that we’re not a stage-five clinger and that we can do better, we should recognize that he’s not the right boyfriend. When he says this, he means that he doesn’t want to have a girlfriend and that he doesn’t want someone to care about him so much.
13- ‘Why Does Your Mom Always Have To Text You?’
Even if we don’t exactly have a mother/daughter relationship that echoes Lorelai and Rory’s fast-talking and junk food filled rapport on Gilmore Girls, chances are that we like to text our mom a few times a week. We want to get her advice on anything and everything, and we just want to keep in touch.
Our boyfriend should think that this is great (and maybe even be inspired to text his own mom, as we know that she would love that). He shouldn’t ask us, “Why does your mom always have to text you?” And he shouldn’t be annoyed that she texts us whenever we’re with him. This isn’t supportive (or normal) behavior.
12- ‘Are You Really Going To Wear That?’
It’s not cool if a guy comments on our appearance or what we’re wearing. It makes it seem like he wants to be in control and that he wants to make decisions for us, including what outfit we wear when we’re going out to dinner with him or meeting friends for happy hour.
When we hear our boyfriend ask us, “Are you really going to wear that?” it doesn’t feel good. It makes us wonder why he can’t just accept us as we are and think that we have an awesome sense of style. If he asks us this question, it’s definitely time to end the relationship. This isn’t showing a great side of him.
11- ‘My Ex Just Texted Me, She’s Doing Pretty Well These Days’
If our boyfriend says this to us, there are a few things that could be going on. He could have no clue that keeping in touch with his ex-girlfriend is going to upset us and that he subconsciously wants to get back together with her. He figures that if we get annoyed and break up with him, then he doesn’t have to feel uncomfortable.
It’s never a good sign when a guy is still in touch with the girl that he dated before us. He’s taking a trip down memory lane, and it’s honestly weird. We need to break up with him and find someone who looks to the present instead.
10- ‘I Think That I Need Some Space’
It’s always bad when a guy asks for space. He might think that taking some time away from us will make him realize that we’re the girl for him… but when a couple wants to take a break, they should honestly just end the relationship.
When our boyfriend tells us that he needs space, we want to think seriously about ending the relationship. The truth is that if we were happy together, we wouldn’t need a break from each other. We want to be with someone that we have the best time with. Even if we’ve been hanging out every day, we would still say that we want more time with them.
9- ‘Dave’s Just Not That Much Fun Since He Got Married’
We’re having a perfectly nice dinner with our boyfriend and he says, “Dave’s just not that much fun since he got married.” We stop in our tracks, put our fork down, and wonder how our boyfriend could say something like this.
We probably want to get married (and are thinking that we want to marry him…) so this is a tough thing to hear. Our boyfriend is showing us that he thinks that married couples are boring and that they aren’t the same fun people that they used to be. He might as well say that he doesn’t ever want to get married. Needless to say, it’s time to end the relationship since we’re not on the same page.
8- ‘I Don’t Think I’m Ready To Settle Down’
Settling down is actually a really amazing thing. It means that we’ve found the right guy and that we love being with him. Gone are the days when we would spend a Friday night going on a date that was worse than the last, and when we would sit at home and wonder if we would ever find someone who made us laugh.
Unfortunately, to some guys, settling down is the worst idea ever. They think that it’s boring and that they want to be able to date around. If our boyfriend looks at us and says, “I don’t think I’m ready to settle down” we can be sure that he’s not interested in being with us anymore (and we don’t want to be with him, either).
7-‘I Want To Start Traveling More’
Our boyfriend telling us that he wants to travel more could signal that he’s unhappy in the relationship. This shows that he’s feeling restless and like he needs to do something different with his life.
This is especially bad if we’re homebodies or we don’t enjoy traveling that much, especially to places that are super far away. We might notice that some of his usual behavior is changing, too, like he stops listening to us when we talk or he doesn’t want to leave the apartment all that often. When our boyfriend says something like this to us, it’s very possible that it’s time to end the relationship.
6- ‘Do You Worry That We’re Settling?’
No girl wants to hear their boyfriend ask, “Do you worry that we’re settling?” It’s a red flag for sure and he’s basically telling us that he thinks that he’s settling.
People settle for different reasons, but they mostly settle because they don’t want to be on their own or they don’t want to rock the boat and dump someone who they’ve been dating for five years. It can be tough to go out on our own.
If our boyfriend brings up settling, though, we want to pay careful attention. And we also want to end the relationship… so we can both find someone who is a better fit.
5- ‘I Want To Get A New Job Or Do Something Different’
Everyone is entitled to a little bit of soul searching every once in a while. We’re always changing, and if we want to go Paleo or Keto or vegan or pick up yoga, why not?
That being said, it’s not a great sign when our boyfriend tells us that he wants a new job and that he wants to do something different with his life. It’s possible that he wants to break up because he wants to do a massive overhaul of his entire life and routine. It sucks to realize this, but isn’t it better to know now instead of dating him for a few more years?
4- ‘I Feel Like I’ve Missed Out On Being Single’
It’s weird to hear our boyfriend say that he feels that he missed out being single because we’ve been together for such a long time. We want him to say that he’s so thankful that we’re together and that he can’t imagine life without us.
Instead, he’s telling us that the single life seems pretty attractive to him. What?!
When our boyfriend is waxing poetic about how awesome it is to be single, it’s time to end the relationship. He’s basically saying that he wishes that he was single right now. We can tell him that he’s going to be because things aren’t working out between us.
3- ‘I Think I Need Some Time To Myself’
It’s rare for couples to want to spend a lot of time apart from each other (although there are some couples who need a ton of alone time). For the most part, we assume that our boyfriend wants to see us every day and that we’re going to be each other’s constant companions since that’s what a good relationship looks like.
Hearing our boyfriend say “I think I need some time to myself” is pretty soul-crushing. He’s basically telling us, “I want to break up.” It’s possible that he wants to end the relationship but he doesn’t know what words to use or he’s concerned about upsetting us.
2- ‘I’m Feeling Pretty Bored Lately’
If our boyfriend was bored with his job or another aspect of his life, he would straight-up tell us that. The fact that he’s telling us that he’s “been bored lately” proves to us that he wants to end the relationship… but he’s just not saying it.
We wish that he would be honest with us and tell us that he wants to break up. That would definitely make things easier. Unfortunately, he might not be quite that clear.
We can respond to this by asking, “Are you bored with us and the relationship?” He might raise his eyebrows at the fact that we’re being so honest, but at this point, we know that it’s time to break up.
1- ‘I Know That You Want Kids, But I Just Don’t See Them Fitting Into My Lifestyle’
It feels pretty harsh to hear that the guy who we love doesn’t want kids. But even though it sucks to hear him say “I know that you want kids, but I just don’t see them fitting into my lifestyle,” aren’t we glad that he’s being honest about this important subject?
Like the other 19 things on this list, we want to break up with our boyfriend if he says this to us. All of these statements have one thing in common: they prove that our boyfriend isn’t on the same page as us.
Break-ups aren’t anywhere close to enjoyable, but once we get past the worst of it, we’ll be glad that we have a new outlook and that we can find real love.