Do you ever crave someone’s presence? Do you ever want to be someone’s idea of perfection?
Well, I have. Both of those things and a lot more. I wanted to be adored, I wanted to be looked at and I wanted my partner to see someone worthy of love. I have had wishes all through my life. Wishes of someone being there for me and me being there for someone. I have craved someone. I’ve craved you. Our legs intertwined and you, always you, in the most simplest of ways. Just you. My world has changed since our eyes and minds met. My days can’t go by without your touch. I feel like something is missing every time you’re not around, like I can’t be fulfilled without you.
I’m disgusted by other guys. I don’t want them. Even a stranger, with no intention of insulting me, makes me feel awful just by looking at me, or touching me by accident. Is this even me anymore? Will I ever be my old self? The one who was seeking attention from everyone?
I hope not.
I want to get lost with you. Lost in your hands. Lost in your eyes. Lost in every little part of you. Can I lose myself inside you? Please, let me. I want to crawl into your pores and stay there. May I?
Ohh, look at those people smiling at us. What must they be thinking? They see us talking. No physical contact, nothing. They can’t see the impact your words make on me. The laughter you cause. My happiness that increases every single time you look at me with those gleaming eyes. And your hands. Ohh, God, those hands. I want to melt in them and never be apart from them.
Inhale. Exhale. Everything with you.
Inhale. Exhale. Everything for you.
Do you remember the time I cried in front of you just because I loved you too much? I loved you so much that all those emotions were too heavy for my little body to comprehend. I told you this after I stopped crying and you kissed my hand, like all the kindness of the world was captivated in that one kiss.
I do think about death. I really do. What would happen if, for some reason, I wouldn’t be able to hug you and be there for you? Well then, I would use my last breath to tell you that I love you. I would use my last strength to make you feel special. Because you are. You are the most important part of my life. Thank you.