For as long as I can remember, I was the one who cared and loved more in all of my relationships, including romantic ones.
I was the one who kept giving her entire self to every man in my life and the one who never held herself back.
I was the one who loved each man in my life with all of my heart, without ever thinking about the consequences or whether that certain man deserved my love.
I was the one who was always putting in more effort than the other side. And the one who always ended up begging for someone’s love and affection.
Consequently, I was always the one who ended up getting hurt. The one who was always left behind and the one who always had her heart broken.
And it’s time for that to end.
It’s about time for me to stop being a fool who gives her entire self to people who don’t deserve her. It’s about time for me to stop putting other people’s needs in front of my own.
About time for me to stop disregarding and sacrificing myself for the sake of others. About time for me to stop putting myself last and to stop prioritizing men who don’t deserve me.
And that is why I’m writing this to the man I will love next and to the man who will hopefully love me. To the man who will enter my life and who will knock me off my feet.
Yes, I’ve been hurt in the past. The truth is that I’ve been through a lot but I’ve also learned a lot.
And I am not here to tell you that I’ll be carrying my emotional baggage into our relationship.
No, you won’t be paying for someone else’s mistakes. I won’t be a heartless bitch and I will never treat you like crap just because others from my past did the same to me.
You know, with time, I’ve understood some things.
I am not a little girl anymore. I know very well what I want from life and I have some strong deal-breakers. And I know even better what I don’t want.
This is not me telling you that I will ask you for much. I don’t need you to pamper me. I don’t need you to disregard your life for my sake and I don’t expect to become the center of your universe.
I don’t need you to chase me, while I play hard to get. I don’t need you to buy me expensive gifts or to spoil me in any other way.
I don’t expect you to obey me or to blindly follow my lead.
I don’t want you to love me any more than I love you.
I just want you to treat me with respect and appreciation. I just want you to take me and our relationship seriously.
I just want us both to invest the same amount of time and energy into it. I want both of us to have the desire to make things work.
So please, don’t expect me to treat you any differently than the way you treat me. Don’t expect me to give you my entire self if you don’t choose to do the same.
Don’t expect me to act like I am beneath you in any sense.
Don’t expect me to put up with you emotionally abusing or manipulating me. Don’t expect me to stay by your side if you decide to cheat on me or if you willingly put me at the bottom of your priority list.
Don’t expect me to chase you because that is the last thing I want to do.
Don’t expect me to beg for your love. Don’t expect me to compete for your attention with anyone else.
Don’t expect me to be the only one who’ll make sacrifices for the sake of our relationship while you are never ready to make a compromise. Don’t expect me to put up with you being a self-centered egomaniac.
And finally, don’t expect me to love you while you don’t give a damn about me.
Remember, the only way for the two of us to have a healthy and mature relationship is to be in equal partnership.