When it comes to love, all of us have our own vision of what it represents, how it’s manifested and how it should make us feel. Thanks to romantic comedies, we often have a distorted image of what love is and therefore, have unrealistic expectations.
Sometimes, this makes it difficult for us to recognize real love when it knocks on our door because we are so used to seeing it portrayed completely differently on the big screen, and it kind of messes with our minds.
Love is a tricky thing. If you get burned one too many times, you learn to be less trustworthy and less open to love. When you’ve had your heart broken too many times, it makes it hard for you to trust the next guy. And who can blame you?
Guys say I love you and they don’t mean it. Sometimes they say it when they have an ulterior motive, and some guys really do love you but they are not ready to say it.
No one ever said it was fair. It sucks having to decipher those three words day in and day out, and it kind of pushes you away since you’re just never sure if what you’re hearing is true or if he just wants you to put out.
Love, in all of its magnificent beauty, can be a truly scary thing.
The majority of us keep our guard very high, in the hopes of not getting hurt. But by doing that, we are also denying ourselves this potentially amazing feeling that could make us feel more alive than ever, due to our fear of not having it reciprocated.
Instead of letting go and allowing yourself to explore the depths of love in all of its glory, you get caught up worrying if he really loves you or if you’re just weeks away from a broken heart all over again.
I’ve been there a few times. Hearing those three magic words was all I wanted to hear from him. And I desperately wanted to believe him. I loved him so much that I hoped it would be enough for the both of us.
But deep down, I always knew that it wasn’t the case. I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. I was embarrassed and felt like I was so hard to love. I convinced myself it was me.
Believing it got me badly burned, because it was too late when I decided to trust my gut and see through his bullshit. All he wanted was the physical aspect of the relationship.
I was just a booty call who was foolish enough to believe in the idea of love because I so desperately craved a connection.
But what I learned from my painful experiences was that no matter how hard you love, and how deeply you care about him, if you feel like he’s playing you, it’s most likely true.
You’re too smart to repeat my mistakes. Don’t let your head in the clouds twist your judgment.
Guys are too easy to read. You just turn a blind eye sometimes because you don’t want to see it. And I get it. I’ve done it too!
But enough is enough. There are guys out there who actually mean what they say, and you’ll be able to tell, trust me. Don’t let your insecurities get the better of you. You deserve love, and you will get love when you stop settling for guys who are too weak to show emotion.
I know you’re now wondering how the hell you’re supposed to know if your man is truly in love with you or if you’re wasting your time.
Well, rest assured, you will find your answers here. Just keep reading, and if your guy manifests any these signs, you’re safe, he really does love you!
‘He says he loves me, but how do I know it’s true?’
This is how:
1. The way he looks at you makes you feel serene and calm
A man who loves you will look at you in a special way. It will be different from the way he looks at anyone else.
It will feel as if you were the only person there, and you’ll feel a sense of serenity whenever your eyes meet.
You will know that he sees you for who you really are, and that you are so special to him. It’s not just the way he looks at you, it’s the frequency and intensity as well.
It won’t be filled with lust and desire, but with calmness and genuine emotion.
Sometimes, he will crack a coy smile, and you’ll wonder what that was all about. But in reality, he will be fascinated with you and how lucky he is that you chose him.
It doesn’t matter if you’re alone or in a room full of people.
You will always feel like the only person there, whenever your eyes meet.
2. He understands that love is all about giving
He doesn’t care about material possessions. He doesn’t try to win you over by buying you expensive gifts and showering you with presents every chance he gets.
A man who loves you is all about giving his heart and soul to the woman he loves. He will be an open book.
You won’t have to wonder what is going through his head because he will always tell you. He wants you to know him, the real him, and he will give you his attention and affection.
You know how your parents always tell you that you can never really know the true meaning of love until you have a child of your own?
A parent will always love their child a tiny bit more than the child loves them. And that’s because they know that love is unselfish and all about giving.
This is the kind of a man that he is. He will give you all of his love and not expect anything in return. He is selfless and genuine, and it will show.
3. He always makes you a priority
We’re all busy. We all have our lives, work, hobbies, family and friends and have to learn how to juggle between all of them and still make time for everything.
It’s hard, but when a guy loves you, he will always make time for you. It doesn’t matter if it’s just for 15 minutes. He will come and see you just to give you a kiss on your forehead and tell you how much he misses you.
When it’s real, genuine love, you’ll never have to beg for his time and attention. You will always have it.
When something is really important to us, we always make time for it.
And when we don’t really care that much, we make excuses. That’s just how people operate, whether they like to admit it or not, so next time you hear an excuse, know where you stand.
If he somehow always manages to make time for you, no matter how hectic his job is, he really does love you. We always find time for people and things we truly care about.
4. He genuinely wants to be a part of your life and meet those close to you
A man who loves you, wants to know all about you. He wants to know your family and friends, and he cares about leaving a good impression.
He wants people in your life to like him because he knows how much you value them.
He makes an effort to remember all the important things about you and your family, and he sometimes surprises you with things he actually remembers about them.
He wants to know all about your passions and what your driving force in life is. He cares to ask about work and genuinely wants to know if there is something bothering you.
He makes sure to introduce you to all of his closest friends and family, and he is extremely happy when you all get along so well.
He wants all of his nearest and dearest to love you just as much as he loves you, and he talks about your joint future openly.
You are a part of his bigger plan, and whenever he talks about any future plans, you are always included.
He just makes you feel like you are a huge part of his life, and he makes sure that you know that there is no future without you.
5. He sees the real you
He notices those little things about you that not many others do. He sees when you get slightly annoyed with someone but try to make it seem like you’re okay. He sees when you’re bursting with happiness even when you’re trying to hide it.
He notices how people feel in your company and how certain people affect you more than others. He sees your little quirks that you are not even aware of.
When you’re sad, he knows it; you never have to say it. When you need him, he can feel it, and he is usually always there in a heartbeat.
He knows all of your good sides along with the bad ones, and he appreciates and accepts you in your entirety.
Not only does he love YOU, he loves everything about you. He loves the way you can’t finish a joke because you always crack up before you’re able to finish it.
He loves how you try to stay mad at him for little things, but you never can. You always end up laughing and ending all of your little quarrels with a heartfelt kiss.
He will always tell you how it is, and that’s only because he loves you too much to play games.
He sees right through you, and he’s not going anywhere.
6. Your happiness is of the utmost importance to him
A man who loves you wants you to be happy! And your happiness will be just as important to him as his own.
He won’t be able to stand seeing you sad. He will do everything in his power to never make you cry. It physically hurts him seeing you broken.
He will learn what makes you happy and avoid doing things you don’t like.
It’s very simple. If he loves you, your happiness is his happiness.
When you notice that he is making a conscious effort to keep you happy at all times, trust that this man really loves you.
Nobody else will prioritize your happiness above his own.
7. You can tell that he misses you when you’re apart
It’s a beautiful thing when you are physically together, and you can see all the ways he loves you. You enjoy each other’s presence, late night talks, comfy nights in and endless inside jokes.
But what is he like when you’re not together? Does he reach out? How often do you hear from him and who initiates most of your conversations? Those are all factors that determine how much of a future you two really have.
Does he disappear on you without getting back to you for days? Do you feel like you’re not even on his mind when he’s away? If so, his intentions are most probably not that genuine and deep.
But if he makes sure to text you as soon as he arrives to his destination and checks up on you regularly without making you worry, then that man really cares about you.
When you love someone, you crave their presence. You want to be with them as much as possible, and that’s completely normal. You let them know you miss them when they’re not there, and you show them you love them when they’re by your side.
He’ll text you when something reminds him of you or when your songs comes on the radio. He’ll send you a funny meme that he knows you’ll find hilarious, and you’ll get a late night text in which he’ll tell you how much he wishes you were there.
Now that is a man who loves you to the bone. When little things remind him of you and he just has to tell you this and that, he really does love you big time.
8. He never leaves you hanging (and apologizes if something unexpected comes up)
I remember this one time my ex and I were supposed to have a date night, and I was so excited about it. I got all dressed up for him as we hadn’t seen each other in a few days.
We agreed to meet at the restaurant, so I went there alone, and expected him to arrive shortly. I waited for quite some time and I was just about to leave, a little upset that he seemingly stood me up, when my phone rang.
It was him. Turns out, his best buddy had just been dumped by his long-term girlfriend and he was an absolute mess, so my man decided to be there for his friend and show him some support and love that he really needed.
He explained it to me and apologized a million times, but I felt like a total idiot. There I was, mad at him for standing me up and all he was doing was being an amazing friend to one of his oldest buddies.
I told him it was more than okay to stay with him, I would just grab something to eat on my way out.
The point is, he was tending to his friend in need, and he still felt bad about standing me up for date night. I really appreciated it because I knew how much I must mean to him to call and explain everything while his friend was weeping in the background.
The point is, when your man loves you, he will appreciate your time. He will never leave you hanging on purpose, but when something unexpected comes up, he’ll make sure to call and explain because he’ll feel bad about it.
He’ll hate to have to cancel on you, but if he ever does, it will be for a good reason, and you will never resent him for it.
9. He’s there for you even when it’s not convenient for him
Love is not always going to be smooth sailing, and it won’t always be complete bliss and happiness.
There will be difficult and challenging times that will test your love and dedication. There will be moments when you will want to give up, and cry yourself to sleep.
What will happen then? What will happen when you two hit a rough patch and things take a turn for the worse? What will happen when you can’t look at each other, but you still need him to be there?
That is when real love is more evident than ever. When you’re so mad at your partner after a brutal fight, but when you need him, he’s there. He comes without a second thought.
There will be other things that he would rather be doing. Other people he will need to be with. But if he comes when you call, no questions asked, even after fighting for a while, just know that this man loves you more than he loves himself.
See, love is not all about your wants and needs. Love isn’t there to be focused on you and what you expect it to be.
Love is raw. Love is being there through every obstacle and every flaw. Love is taking your partner’s feelings and needs into consideration even when it really doesn’t suit you.
When he loves you, he’s going to be there because you are too important to him to gamble you away in a moment of anger.
Love is easy when things are good. But not until the real stuff kicks in and there are trials and tribulations, do you really see the commitment and dedication of your partner.
10. He never gives up on you
He puts his heart and soul into your relationship. He never gives up when things get difficult. He knows that anything worth fighting for never comes easy.
I remember wanting to give up on my partner a year back. It was a year into our relationship, and the honeymoon phase was over. The bliss that was there in the beginning was replaced with little annoying habits and constant bickering about the silliest things.
I couldn’t stand how he never left the toothpaste where it belonged, and he was annoyed at me for leaving the lights on in every room of the house after leaving said rooms.
Those little things started seeming pretty big when they started occurring on a regular basis. I was so sick and tired of fighting all the time, and I just needed it to stop.
He knew I loved him, but I wanted to take the cowardly way out, and he called me on my shit. He wasn’t having it. He told me that every healthy relationship that has any hope for a bright future goes through phases of anger, annoyance and disappointment.
When you spend so much time with a person, it’s only natural that you will come to blows at times. But that doesn’t mean you don’t love each other, and it does not mean that the relationship isn’t worth it!
Would you be fighting passionately with somebody you didn’t give a shit about? No, you would just leave because you have better things to do.
So, fighting with him means you care, and a lot! Because when you don’t, you’re indifferent. Simple as that.
Bottom line is, he will never give up on you if he loves you as much as he says he does. True love is flawed, but it’s also forgiving and understanding.
11. He is very open about his thoughts and feelings
A man who loves you doesn’t leave you wondering about his feelings. He is open and honest about them. He isn’t afraid of telling you how he feels, and he makes sure you are reminded of it often enough.
When he’s annoyed at you for whatever little reason, he’ll tell you with no hesitation, and vice versa. See, when men don’t give a shit, they just don’t bother telling you that a certain thing bothers them because they don’t plan on staying either way.
But when a man loves you, he will tell you exactly where you stand and what is going on in his head because he knows that full transparency is the best way to a long, healthy relationship.
He wants to be honest because he wants that honesty returned.
Usually, when someone loves you, you can just feel it. It’s all evident in the way he talks to you and how he treats you when you’re around people.
When you’re with a man who isn’t afraid to tell you how much he loves and misses you when you’re in a room full of people, you’ve got yourself a keeper.
Keep him by your side at all costs. It’s not all often that men are in touch with their emotions and proud to share them with a multitude of people.
Never make him feel bad about being so open and in touch with his sensitive side. It’s a brave thing and all men should start following his example.
The more people are genuine about how they feel, not caring what anyone will think about it, the happier we will all be.
So, if you have found your man among any of these traits, chances are he really does love you. Only you can know this, and I hope it has helped you realize how he truly feels.
If you’re lucky enough to have a man who loves you, appreciates you and tells you that repeatedly, you’ve won the jackpot of life. Keep close to him because it’s a prize that’s just going to keep on giving.