I think you’ve realized by now that women like me aren’t actually easy to love. I’m messy, my thoughts are all over the place and you never know what I’m feeling (probably because I am confused myself). You might be thinking that I am just arrogant, but no.
I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of people who take advantage of me and I’ve had enough of people who take me for granted. I don’t want to look at myself and regret every little thing I have ever done, just because I didn’t think things through. I was too blind to see that those people weren’t worth my time and that’s why I’m so careful today with whom I trust. You might think it’s stupid but my heart doesn’t have the strength to put itself back together if it ever again gets broken.
He did this to me. The same man I’ve told you about before. My emotions were never valid to him, he lied to me and called me out in front of people I thought were my friends. He’d yell and scream at me and he’d have an outburst of rage because of some stupid reasons. I can’t believe how naive I was to mistake all that for love. I am guarded now.
I know that it’s not easy to love me, but try. Be patient and love me because love is the only thing that can break down these walls I’ve built up. Love is stronger than anything and with love you can help me heal again.But it will take time. A lot of time. Women like me don’t change overnight because the abuse we suffered didn’t happen overnight either. It took months and maybe even years of suffering to actually acknowledge what was happening in our life.
Are you willing to stay around? If yes, I promise you after you’ve broken down the walls around my heart that I will love you like no other. All my love and attention will be yours and you won’t need to think twice about my feelings because I will be sure to show you my love every step of the way to forever. I will appreciate you and I will be extremely grateful, because I can recognize a good person when they come my way. I will be grateful that you chose me, out of all those women out there. If you’re willing to be patient and love me, I will return the favor and love you forever.
But to be completely honest with you, I don’t want you to waste my time. I have a lot of healing to do on my way to recovery. That’s why I beg you to stay away from me if your intentions aren’t good. I wouldn’t be able to find myself in a toxic relationship ever again, so go. I won’t ever call or text you again, I will even cross the road if I see you walking toward me. You will never have to see me again. Just leave. I am perfectly able to get through this by myself.
Just because I want you around, doesn’t mean I need you to be. If you can see yourself hurting me or not having the patience needed to wait for me until I completely recover, then don’t even bother coming into my life. We will both be much happier this way.
If you do decide to stay, then be ready for a roller coaster of emotions, a huge amount of ups and downs, but it’ll be worth it. I can’t say how much time it’ll take me to recover but I will be forever grateful if you really do stay.