Maybe you will never read this letter, but I just wanted to say what is on my mind.
I need to put my emotions on a piece of paper and once I read it all, maybe I will be strong enough to close this chapter of my life.
I just want you to know that it is not easy for me to do this and while I am writing this letter, there are mixed feelings about you inside my heart.
Some of them tell me that you deserve a second chance but on the other hand, there are those ugly feelings that were developed from all the bad things you did to me.
I want you to know one thing—you were the man I loved the most but you hurt me.
You meant the world to me and I saw everything that I have been dreaming of in you.
You knew a good way to win me over. You knew how to move into my heart. And you were there even before I realized it.
It is difficult to kick out someone from your heart. I mean, there was a reason you were there.
I must have felt something for you, right? But you didn’t care about it. And honestly, I don’t know if your purpose was to hurt me or you did that accidentally.
I just know that after our breakup I am still broken. I can’t shake this feeling of sorrow off. I am trying so hard to be the old me. The one who is always cheerful and the one who never gives up.
Now, I am thinking if I should have fought for you harder.
Maybe you were calling me to help you but I didn’t know to recognize your voice.
I couldn’t see that you needed me. But when I think twice, it wasn’t all my fault.
If you need someone, you come and say it. You don’t hurt people just to get their attention. I guess you chose the wrong way.
I just want to tell you that I couldn’t stand your moody behavior anymore.
I couldn’t stand that you said that you loved me one day and I would catch you with another girl the next one.
I couldn’t be in that magic circle anymore. I needed the truth from you.
I needed you to admit either that you love me and want to stay with me or that you don’t want me to be a part of your life anymore.
But I never heard those words coming out of your mouth.
And then in the blink of an eye, I realized I should stop waiting for you.
Because your indecision was a decision.
A decision that you don’t love me enough to provide me with all the love I need. You couldn’t have loved me with the same amount of love and passion that I felt for you.
But you were a coward to admit that.
It was easier to twist me around your little finger and be with me when that was convenient for you.
Because that was something I always was—your second choice, a girl you always crawled to when others abandoned you.
But, now it is enough. I quit on you.
I quit on our love and everything that we could have had if you were just a little bit more willing to try.
I don’t want to fight for someone who doesn’t fight for me. I don’t need an almost relationship.
I deserve it all or nothing at all. And I guess that I experienced the latter with you.
So, listen to this: I will wait for a guy who knows what he wants.
I will wait for the one who will be devoted to a relationship and not disappear for 2 months and then pop up all of a sudden.
I want someone who will always be there. Because that is what people in love do—they can rely on each other.
In the end, I want you to remember this one thing: Never date another girl if you are not willing to give yourself all in.
Don’t let another one suffer like I did. Make sure that you can handle everything before you even start it. Or don’t start it at all.
With zero love,
The one who was more than enough for you