How can you give your heart away without losing your power and without losing the person you are inside?
With great love comes great mistakes and we tend to make too many. We put that special someone on a pedestal and we forget that we are their equal.
Yes equality – something all healthy relationships should be based upon. It means that both partners’ interests and desires should be respected. That’s the only way you should behave if you want your relationship to work.
Not giving away their power in a relationship is a trait of mentally strong people. They know how important their power is and how much it affects their self-worth.
If you give someone else your power, it means that you’re giving them the ability to control your life. That you’ll let that person make all the important decisions for you.
Everything starts to revolve around your partner and they become the center of your universe. You forget about your own needs and desires.
Eventually, you’ll lose yourself in that relationship, and there is nothing worse than that. You’ll let your partner cross boundaries and that will lead you to lose your identity in a relationship.
1. Your partner always gets to decide what you’ll do
If you always let your partner choose what and where you eat, and what you do at the weekend, they’ll start thinking that it’s okay for them to decide who you can hang out with, too.
You don’t want to cause a fight and that’s why you start compromising over everything. Of course, you have your own desires, but you don’t want to confront your loved one.
2. You are afraid to speak up when you don’t agree with them
We are all different and it’s perfectly normal to have different views and opinions about some certain things.
The thing is that we should all have an understanding of our partner’s opinion and we have to respect it, even if it’s absolutely different from ours and we think that it’s wrong.
However, you are afraid to confront your partner and tell them that you don’t agree with them.
You’re afraid that they might leave you and that’s why you prefer to keep quiet and behave as if you agree with your partner about everything.
3. You apologize more then you should
It’s okay to apologize when you’ve done something wrong. But, apologizing after every fight will only make you feel desperate.
You feel the need to apologize even when you haven’t done anything. Be careful, I know that you think that you are doing it to keep the person you love, but you might end up hurt and used.
4. You always cancel your plans for them
You had lots of friends and you liked hanging out with them whenever you could. Now, you only have a few friends left – the others have stopped talking to you because you stood them up too many times.
You don’t respect anyone but your partner. You think that he is the only person who is important in your life. You have no idea how wrong you are. One day, when he gets bored, he’ll leave.
5. You always wait for their permission to do something
It seems like you can’t do anything by yourself anymore.
You have to call him before you decide to do something. When you start behaving like this – asking for your partner’s permission to do things – you outsource your power.
6. You can’t say NO to them
You think that less disagreement and less conflict are good for your relationship and that’s why you don’t want to say ‘no’ to your partner.
If you always compromise about everything, then you’ll never feel comfortable in a relationship. If you aren’t okay with something, if you don’t agree with your partner about something, then you have to tell them.
7. You tolerate their bad behavior
If you’re constantly tolerating their bad behavior, they might start thinking that you are okay with it. Remember, you teach others how to treat you. If you let them treat you poorly, they will.
8. You constantly put their needs ahead of your own
Your partner should always be able to lean on you and you have to support them. However, your needs should be as important as your partner’s.
No relationship will ever be able to function if both partners are continuously putting their needs first. Remember, it’s all about equality.
9. You are settling for less than you deserve
Love is making you blind. You’ve forgotten how much you are worth and what you deserve.
You’re settling for less than you deserve because the only thing important for you is to keep the person you love.
You will never save your relationship by changing who you are. You have to believe that you are mentally strong enough not to give your power to your partner when you’re in a relationship.
Set firm boundaries and never let anyone, no matter how much you love them, cross those lines. Those boundaries will protect your integrity in a relationship, and it’s the most important thing you can do.