What connects you to your partner? What common interests do you have? How do you spend your time?
You need to be clear with you, why you want to have a relationship and when it comes, there are only two reasons why people do that:
1. First, to get love, security, affirmation and security, or to start a family. They are looking for someone who completes them and gives meaning to life. That is, to have someone at the side who fulfills their emptiness and gives them a feeling of security and dignity.
2. Second, to share love and to grow emotionally and spiritually.
First and foremost, you have to be the right partner before you know if you are with the right partner. This means that you have to learn to love yourself, to define your own value, and to fill yourself with love that you are willing to share, rather than seeking confirmation from other people.
Ask yourself if you are filled with the love you want to share, or if you just desperately want to find love?
If your intention is to have love instead of sharing, then it’s likely that no relationship will ultimately be the right one for you. You still have to work hard to become a better person before you meet the right partner, because in a relationship it’s about making both partners happy and satisfied.
You do not have to be “perfect” to love yourself, but you have to work to learn to take responsibility for your own feelings of value, appropriateness, and safety. The most important thing is to know yourself well, to embrace what you can not change, but always to strive to become a better person.
If you are a person who wants to have a relationship, one who wants to give love and grow, then ask yourself the following questions:
1. Is the person you are with is open to learning about yourself and yourself?
Being open to learning from yourself and others is very important to getting a healthy relationship. The partners are unable to resolve conflicts if they are not willing to learn.
The question to ask is, “What does this person do when it comes to conflict?” We need to understand our own actions and strive to look behind the behaviors of our partner.
Some people can appear open and affectionate until the time when a conflict occurs and then they become withdrawn, resilient or overly aggressive. When they close, how long does it take them to reopen? It is obvious that this person is not the right partner for you if you start to abuse you emotionally or physically.
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You have to be open to be able to solve conflicts lovingly, because only then can you maintain a loving relationship.
2. Is your partner able to look after you or show empathy and acceptance for what you are?
If you find that your partner is unable to feel empathy, then he is not the right partner for you. A lack of empathy is a sign of narcissism.
If a person is unable to show empathy, then he is dangerous to your physical and psychological well-being and should not be around at all.
3. Do you feel attracted to your partner? Are you happy to be near this person? Do you like the smell of this person?
If you are not physically attracted to this person within the first six months of the relationship, it is unlikely that any attraction will develop. This person could be a good friend, but nobody with whom you could build a love relationship.
And the longer you wait to admit that, the harder and more painful the line becomes when you reach it.
4. Does this person have the desire to win or to be right?
This is the opposite of learning and does not bode well for a relationship. Partners should not be competitors, but a team!
5. Do you have common interests?
Is there something you can do together or do you have no common interests at all? No matter how opposite the partners are, there must be something that connects you and through which you spend time together as a couple and strengthen your relationship.
6. Do you have common religious or political values?
Do you have the same opinion in terms of spending, education, food, fitness, cleanliness and punctuality? Our values determine our development and our future. How should a relationship hold when the partners are running in opposite directions ?!
7. Is your partner addicted to something you can not tolerate?
After alcohol? Drugs or medications? Eat? Is he a s_- addict? Does he gamble?
When we really love someone, we love his essence and what he really is. But we also have to think about our feelings and the worst version of our partner must be tolerable for us. Do not expect it to change because it is the way it is.
Heavy addicts are something that no one can endure for an extended period of time. It is a disease that destroys not only the addict, but also the people around him who love him and try to fight for him.
If you have read something on this list that is unacceptable to you but hopes that your partner will change, then you will have a relationship with the wrong person.
You have to accept her the way she is and agree to lose the relationship. If you expect your partner to change, it will only lead to heartbreak.
Always remember that you have to be the right partner to find the right partner. We attract people who have similar feelings of self-love. That is, the more you love yourself, the better your chance to attract and maintain a loving relationship.
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