There are a lot of ways someone can become emotionally damaged. Maybe even you, without knowing, have done something that could’ve hurt someone so bad as to damage them for life. Even friend-zoning can mean that a person was left heartbroken and damaged.
But we’re not here to talk about that, right? We’re here to figure out why YOU, as a happy, independent and loving woman, are attracting these men into your life. So I’m giving you five possible reasons for that:
1. You NEED a relationship
There is a huge difference between WANTING and NEEDING a partner in your life. If you NEED a relationship to actually be happy, it’s doomed to fail. To change this, you’ll have to work on yourself.
Devote your time to all the people around you who are always there and go to a support group whenever you’re feeling down. Invest in your own happiness.
Take a trip by yourself! Why not? You don’t need a partner to finally see the world around you. And then, when you’re happy and you want to share that happiness with someone, you’ll choose the right guy.
2. You’re insecure
In my opinion, people who have low self-esteem have the tendency to settle down with men who show these bad behaviors. Who convinced you that that type of behavior is OK?
No one should suffer in this way! And also, you are amazing. Go out and show it to the world. If you have high self-respect, an abusive and damaged man will only run away from you.
3. You don’t know any other type of man
Did all of your partners show abusive behavior? All they did was bring you down and make you feel insecure, maybe even more than you already were? You’re stuck in a pattern that cannot be changed – or at least that’s what you think. But hey, it can be changed.
You need to stop considering this behavior as love. If someone tells you that you’re not worthy of anything more, they are bad-ass liars, so stay away from these kinds of people at any cost!
4. You don’t want to commit
This can happen even to the best of us. You want to be with someone who’ll soon be out of your life because it’s much safer than to be with someone who’s worth fighting for and someone who’s worth loving.
You don’t want them to get hurt, so you take someone who’s already damaged because you know that it will soon be over. But this leads to you getting hurt, you know?
Being a part of such an awful relationship can only make you feel bad because it doesn’t mean anything to either one of you. Just be aware of it next time. Sometimes it’s much easier and less painful if you give yourself time to think about this, rather than just run to the next disaster.
5. You don’t want to feel lonely
This one can actually trigger even bigger issues. Not wanting to be left alone with your thoughts can lead to horrible decisions regarding your choice of partner and the way you look at romantic relationships.
Being alone has some wonderful benefits, though! It’s not only dark thoughts and loneliness. Being alone makes you fall in love with yourself and appreciate every second of that alone time you have.
6. You think that you deserve it
Why? Why would anyone think that they deserve an abusive, narcissistic bastard who has nothing to offer in a relationship but broken hearts and tears?
Maybe you’ve broken someone’s heart before and you want to know what it’s like and you think that this is what you deserve? But no, wait, slow down! You don’t. No one deserves this. Just be brave enough to forgive yourself for that.
Sometimes, if it wasn’t your intention to hurt them, it isn’t your fault that the person is broken. You don’t need to be with someone who will intentionally hurt you. You will never deserve something awful like that.
7. Isn’t everyone damaged?
This mindset won’t get you anywhere. Even if we all experience a broken heart, it doesn’t mean it’ll leave us emotionally unattached and damaged! I have been broken. There, I said it.
I have had so many damaged partners in my life that I thought that I could heal them just because I thought that being damaged was a normal thing. But it’s not. Damaged is only someone who lets himself be damaged or someone who doesn’t want to work on themselves to heal properly, so they’ll go around and find someone who’ll do the healing for them.
They find a victim and the rest? Well, the rest you already know. It won’t make anyone happy, I promise you this.
Love and smile like you’ve never experienced brokenness before because that’ll mean that you’re a lovely soul, a brave and strong woman who can handle anything that life throws at her! And about those damaged men?
I think that you’ve had enough of them to know what they’re like, so just walk away from them. You can’t heal them. Focus on healing yourself. And love yourself enough to never fall for an abusive, damaged bastard!