It seems like saying “I love you.” at any given time is a good idea. And it usually is, especially when you are in a serious relationship or marriage. People need to be reminded of how they feel for each other every now and then.
But when you are saying “I love you.” for the first time, it should really be special, and the timing should be right.
You can really mess things up in saying “I love you.” in certain situations. Keep reading and see in which ones:
1. When it is too early into the relationship
This goes without saying but there is such a thing like saying “I love you” too soon. Saying it on a first date or in the first few months is not a good idea. In that period, it’s easy to confuse lust for love.
You can easily fall in love, but actually loving someone takes time. It requires taking off those rose-colored glasses and loving that person with all their flaws and virtues.
So be careful. Wait a while to build a relationship and be sure in what you feel. An “I love you.” that comes is said at the wrong time (like too early) can pretty much ruin a potentially good relationship and make your partner run for the hills.
2. When you are drunk
Your emotions are heightened when you are under the influence of alcohol, especially if you are one of those cute people who love everybody and everything when they are drunk. What you say might not reflect what you feel.
Moreover, your partner might not take you seriously or they might think you are saying it just because of the liquor in your blood.
Saying “I love you.” for the first time should be a magical experience you will treasure in your memory for a long time.
The bottom line is if “I love you.” is not something you would say sober, you shouldn’t say it while drunk either.
3. When you are vulnerable
Vulnerability can easily change your perspective. Feelings of sadness, disillusionment and loneliness can easily make you say those three little words without actually meaning them.
Also, you might think you love someone because you miss being with someone, anyone, and you miss that feeling of belonging to someone.
But saying “I love you.” without actually meaning it or in the phase where your relationship hasn’t had time to grow will make the whole thing worse.
4. When one of you starts a new relationship after finishing a long-term one
When you finish a long-term relationship, you are full of emotional baggage and unresolved feelings from the past. It might take you a long time before getting back in touch with your true feelings.
You have to slow yourself down and take a pause on emotional declarations until you are sure about your feelings.
Also, if he is the one who recently had a bad breakup or a long relationship that went south, give it time. Take it slow. There is no need to rush with saying how you feel. Let him get there, too.
5. When he’s going through some stuff
Life is not all rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes it gets really chaotic, unfair and painful. If your significant other is going through some stuff like family issues, work problems or the death of someone they were close to, you should definitely hold off with saying how you feel.
For starters, it’s not good timing. They need you just to be there and support them through difficult times.
They need to see that you care but there is no need to say, “I love you.” for the first time at this point because they might think you are saying it just because you feel sorry for them.
6. When you feel like you have to say it
Maybe he said it first, and now you feel like you have to say it back, even if you are not quite there yet or you are still figuring things out.
Saying how you feel shouldn’t feel like an obligation; it should be instinctive and pure. You should only say it when you feel it’s time.
You should say it when you feel like you are going to go crazy with all those emotions locked on the inside. That’s when it’s real. That’s when you should definitely say “I love you.”