People associate abuse mostly with the physical manifestations of it because bruises are easy to see, therefore can’t be denied.
But abuse in relationships can be so much more than just what the eyes can see.
Abuse in any form is a disgusting, unacceptable type of relationship behaviour, and whoever has to deal with it can hopefully find their way out, safe and sound, with the help of a good support system.
Being in a relationship with a mentally and emotionally abusive partner is silent torture.
It is one of the loneliest and heartbreaking feelings a person can endure.
That form of abuse is something people cannot see, and having to explain what you are going through without actual ‘’physical proof’’ of abuse is absolute hell.
You are degraded, put down, made feel worthless on a daily basis, and nobody really knows.
That feeling of solitude and inability for people to comprehend your pain is a daily battle.
You get so caught up in a person and the love you feel for him that you decide to turn a blind eye to his malicious treatment of you.
It always starts small, so you never really want to say anything. But with time, it gets worse and more hurtful, but you keep suffering in silence…
Emotionally abusive partners are masters of their craft.
They will stoop to the lowest levels to make you feel like shit, and oftentimes act as if you were somehow the one to blame for the way they behave.
They will play the victim card in order to manipulate you, play mind games with you, and confuse you.
They will pretend their hands are clean and all the blame is on your shoulders.
More often than not, the best way they do it is through double standards they impose on you.
If you feel like your partner is being emotionally abusive towards you, don’t stay silent.
Don’t accept the shit he puts you through. Decide that enough is enough!
Here are some of the most common examples of double standards that victims of emotional abuse are put through.
If you recognize yourself in any of these, my advice is to find the most peaceful way out, and never look back.
1. He will criticize you like it’s his job, but when you do the same to him, he handles it extremely poorly
He doesn’t have a problem blaming you for the most trivial and insignificant things.
Whatever you do is under scrutiny, and he makes sure to let you know what a crappy job you’ve done if he’s not happy about something.
But when he does something really bad and you wish to confront him about it like an adult, he throws a tantrum and handles it very badly.
You fear for your life at times, so it’s easier to never criticise him at all rather than risk being yelled at so much.
2. He demands to know your whereabouts at all times, but fails to tell you where he is and how long he’s going to be
You are required to check in with him regularly no matter where you are. If you don’t let him know where you are, he’s going to make a scene.
But when you politely ask where he is and what time he’s going to be back, he acts as if you have zero right to know such a thing.
He goes off and does his own thing with whomever he wants and for as long as he wants, and you are completely in the dark.
3. He doesn’t care about how you feel at all but expects you to put his needs and emotions first
If he makes you feel like shit, that’s fine by him. If he says something hurtful to you, still fine.
But when you disregard his emotions and fail to be at his beck and call, all hell breaks loose.
You have to be careful to always pay attention to how he feels that day and do whatever suits him.
If you even try to ask him to understand that you’re having a crappy day, you’ll never hear the end of it.
4. He asks for s*x and expects it whenever he wants it, but when you are in the mood, he completely ignores you
He expects s*x whenever he feels like it. You always have to be available to him—or else.
But when you ask for the same thing, he won’t pay attention to you.
Only when he’s in the mood will there be any physical manifestations of love.
When you’re feeling up for it, it is highly unlikely he’ll be respectful of it.
5. He is the one who calls the shots about everything, but when you try to suggest something he brushes it off
He is the man, and he makes sure you know it. He makes all the decisions, no matter how big or small, and nothing is left for you to participate in.
But when you try to offer your input or merely suggest an idea about something, he looks down on you as if it’s not your place.
You are expected to let the man do his thing and be obedient and at his service should he need something from you.
6. Whenever he mistreats you, he puts all the blame on you, and when you screw up, it’s always your fault and yours only
He will yell at you for something that he did. He’ll make you feel like a total piece of shit and put all the blame on you.
It’s always your fault when he treats you badly.
You are the one who made him act that way. Your lousy mood angered him, and he had no choice but to take it out on you.
Basically, you have to walk on eggshells around him because you know whatever you do, he’s going to find a way to put all the blame of his actions on you.
And for as long as you let him get away with this, the emotional abuse is never going to end.
It is important that you slowly distance yourself from him, and should you need it, ask for help.
Don’t put up with what you shouldn’t. This type of behaviour is toxic and hurtful, and nobody deserves it.
Get out of that relationship before it gets too unhealthy and too late. You deserve better!