Usually, the most exciting and happiest times of any relationship are at its very beginning. That’s when you’re on cloud nine and want to scream it from the rooftops!
Everything is so peachy. He is treating you like a queen, and you just can’t get enough of each other! So, it’s perfectly understandable that you want to share that happiness with those closest to you.
You want your mom to know her daughter is extremely happy and fulfilled, and also share the juicy parts of the relationship with your girlfriends! Who wouldn’t?
So, what do you do when you find out your partner wants to keep your relationship on the down low?
Listen, maybe there’s no need to panic. There could be a perfectly good reason as to why he would want to keep you a secret. There’s no reason to go into crazy mode immediately. Things don’t have to end, and you shouldn’t assume anything before talking to him.
Be sure to know what’s hiding behind his odd request, and then decide how to move forward.
1. Don’t jump to conclusions.
There could be a variety of reasons why your partner would prefer the secrecy. You really shouldn’t just assume the worst simply because you don’t like it. There could be a totally normal explanation for this.
For example, your partner could simply be private and reticent naturally, and so he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing your relationship with the world just yet. Give him a minute to become comfortable with the idea, and if you two really do have a future, he’s going to start telling people in no time. Don’t pressure him.
2. Share your worries with your partner openly.
If his wanting to keep you secret makes you feel uneasy in any way, you should most definitely discuss it with him. Pick a time when you are both at home and with no distractions in sight, so you can have an interrupted and honest conversation.
Ask him openly about his reasons, and explain to him in a delicate manner that this makes you feel a little uncomfortable and unsure about you two. He will most likely explain everything and you will feel 50 pounds lighter.
Just don’t attack him, and let him tell you his side of this whole thing. It could all make perfect sense and be resolved within minutes.
3. He may have just recently ended a meaningful relationship.
It could be that he just wants to keep things private for a little while out of respect for his ex, if they ended things recently. Or maybe they didn’t end it on the best note, so he wants to protect you from his ex potentially attacking you or trying to make you jealous.
There could be many potential factors if his ex is still in any way interested in him, so he is just thinking of ways to make you less uncomfortable with the situation.
4. Maybe he just doesn’t like labeling things too soon.
Some people aren’t fans of labeling their relationships right from the get-go. And that’s okay! The term ‘girlfriend’ maybe scares him a bit this soon, so give him time to see how good you two are together, and he could get used to the idea in no time.
5. Know that maybe he just doesn’t want to hear other people’s opinions yet.
Maybe your partner’s parents have a strict vision of who he should settle down with, and you just don’t fit their mold, so he’s keeping you from that negativity. He clearly likes you enough to go out with you regardless of what anyone has to say, so just be patient and understand that there could be a lot of things happening you still don’t know about.
But if you two can endure any criticism from people outside your relationship and go strong no matter what, he will surely share you with the world. He just needs time to see you’re worth all that potential drama. So be patient, and openly discuss your feelings with him.
Nobody is saying you should stay in the relationship if any aspect of it makes you uncomfortable. Your feelings are just as important and valid as your partner’s. If you don’t want to stay in this relationship, you shouldn’t.
Just know that you have a choice and follow your gut.