When we think about opening up our hearts after a heartbreak, we think about how vulnerable we might get and that we will only get hurt again. We start to close ourselves up, we stop talking about ourselves, and we tend to get really sarcastic to the point where we start to insult others. It’s only because of a defensive mechanism that we start to develop. We forget that the only way we can actually heal our hearts again is to let love in. It’s to find someone who will show us how beautiful loving is. But, it also means that we are strong enough to be vulnerable. To heal our own hearts is a long procedure with many ups and downs, but eventually we might learn something from it. To make this journey just a bit easier, here we have some tips for you:
1. Go out on some meaningless dates
After a break-up we tend to close ourselves up, we simply stop going on dates because we have this tendency to already see where it could lead and we see the end of it right away. We look at the long-term picture and that makes us scared. We see people letting us down and hurting us without even giving them a chance. By going out on a couple of dates you will get your energy back and you’ll notice how fun flirting can actually be. You might even get an immediate and spontaneous connection with someone without even looking for it.
2. Talk about what you love
We are too afraid that people might laugh at us if we’re talking about something we love, because that is something that makes us vulnerable. It doesn’t matter what it is; if you love writing, cooking, painting, or gardening, it’s something you’re passionate about and you should embrace it. When we reveal what we love, without making a joke about it, we are opening our hearts and that can strengthen the relationship with someone. It means that we are ready to trust them and that we are ready to love again.
3. Talk about what you like about someone else
If you’ve been broken before, even when you’re giving away compliments to someone you may do it with a hint of sarcasm. When we’re being vulnerable and telling someone how beautiful they look or that they smell very nice, we are instead showing confidence.
4. Talk about your insecurities
Don’t get me wrong, if you’re meeting someone new, you don’t need to show them all your weak spots. These don’t have to be serious things that show melancholy, but rather to show someone that you’re human. When we’re heartbroken, we tend to crawl up inside ourselves without showing our weaknesses because that’ll make us vulnerable and someone might misuse it. But no, telling someone that you’re nervous because of this date or that you’re really bad at communicating can connect us with someone on a whole new level.
5. Take it slow
This doesn’t need to be running away from commitment just because you’re scared. People usually try to rush us into a part of a relationship when we’re not ready yet. Just imagine how agonizing it would be to start a serious relationship with someone just after you’ve experienced a break-up. That’s not OK for either you or your new partner. You will both break at some point. You need to allow yourself to take it slow, to learn about the person, to develop trust and let your feelings grow and become stronger. Take all the time you need. Nothing in this world is in a rush, but still every little thing is in its place.