Woman have that natural maternal instinct which is supposed to be a good thing, but sometimes things get out of hand. In any relationship, partners should be taking care of their significant other, but if instead of nurturing your relationship, you start nurturing your partner—you have a problem! If you are not sure whether you’re crossing the line already, read these certain signs:

1. Cleaning after him

Always running after him and picking up his shirts and socks all over the apartment will make the term “hot mama” too literal. Also, cleaning up after him every time he has had a meal or spilled his beer is just you spoiling him. He is a grown man—he can do all these things on his own!

2. You leave arguments unresolved

Every relationship has fights but it’s crucial to solve and not bury them. If you leave an argument unresolved, the only thing you’re gonna feel is anger. Remember how we used to fight with our parents when we were kids? Now it all makes sense, right? In relationships, solving fights should be the opposite of when you were kids because the roles you play are equal now.

3. You constantly nag him to do anything

You don’t need to give him a list of chores to do like a child—do the dishes, take out the garbage, clean up your stuff. Nagging him won’t get him to do what you want him to do, it’ll only make him feel more like he’s back living with his mom. If he can’t do those things on his own, if he is so irresponsible, do yourself a favor—dump him.

4. Absolute control

Some people simply love being in charge. There are limits, but if your partner expects you to be in control of everything, or if you’re doing that precisely because you don’t trust him, then you have a problem. You both should be somewhat equally in charge for the relationship to last.

5. You personally feel like he’s more your child than your partner

Stop for a second, and ask yourself: Is this guy really someone to whom you’re emotionally and passionately attached? Is he really someone who you want to be next to you when you need him the most? Or is he just a needy child who can’t stand on his own feet? One day, you’ll have your own child, and caring for two babies at once is something you have to think about very carefully.

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