“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief… and unspeakable love.” – Washington Irving
Through life, you will meet a plethora of people who will affect and possibly change your life in more ways than one.
There will be those you will come across, who you give a place in your life, think the world of… and end up disappointing you and teaching you a valuable lesson.
And there will be those you will meet by accident and form a deep connection with almost instantly, who will turn out to be some of the best people in your life.
Those people are what makes life worth living.
Be it a romantic partner, close friend, or family member, having somebody you share incredible closeness with and who is an integral part of your life is the most precious thing one can hope to have in one’s lifetime.
And the thing about life is… you never really know when the last time you’ll speak to your best friend is going to be.
You never know when the last time you’ll kiss your partner is going to be.
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And you never know when the last time you’ll call your mother is going to be.
But one day, it’s going to be that final day… and you won’t even know.
It just hits you like a thousand knives through your stomach, and leaves you with a gaping hole that overwhelms you every time you try to breathe.
Losing a loved one is something that is painfully difficult to describe. People cannot comprehend this loss unless they have gone through it themselves.
The hole that is left in your life after losing somebody who was so important to you is impossible to fill or explain.
It’s just there and it slowly kills you on the inside, leaving you gasping for air.
It feels like losing a limb and having to learn to adjust to life without it, but always being able to feel the almost palpable loss.
That is something you never really get used to, but you are forced to learn to live without, no matter how hard it is, because, whether you like it or not… life goes on.
Here are 5 painful things that only those who have lost a loved one can truly relate to and understand.
1. There is an overwhelming sense of regret that overcomes you about the smallest things
Regardless of how you left things with this person, after losing them, you will start feeling regret about the smallest things.
You will regret not appreciating them enough, even though you were probably very appreciative of them.
But the loss is going to make you question everything.
You will regret not making more time to spend with them in the past, and no matter how often you actually saw this person, suddenly, it is going to feel like it was nowhere near enough.
2. You try to keep it together, but you break down in tears at the very thought of them
You will feel like you’re finally doing okay, even for just a few hours as you go about your day.
You will try to keep yourself composed, but the moment this person crosses your mind, your eyes fill with tears, and you suddenly feel the loss more than ever.
You will be reminded that this person is no longer here.
You can’t pick up the phone and call them, you can’t have a catch-up coffee date with them, and you can’t bitch about Janet from work with them.
It’s over, they’re gone… and you will break down in tears, quietly enduring the enormous pain that is overcoming you.
3. You now relive the precious memories you two once shared
You will keep them alive in your mind and heart by reliving the most precious memories you two shared on many occasions.
You will think a lot about the adventures you were on, the embarrassing things you went through together, and the deep, personal moments you shared, that you value now more than ever.
You will try to keep it together for them, and never again take anything and anyone for granted.
4. No matter how long it’s been, you carry the pain wherever you go
Time might help with coping with the loss, but in no way does it help you completely get over it and fully heal.
As time goes by, you will be able to start functioning like you used to.
There will be days where you won’t shed a single tear, and those will be the days you live for.
But never will you ever be able to forget and not think about them.
The smallest thing will remind you of this person, and it will be as if you lost them just yesterday.
5. You are able to empathize with people going through a similar loss on a more profound level than before
Now that you have experienced this enormous loss, you will feel things on a much deeper level.
You will appreciate things so much more and take kindly to everyone around you.
Those who are going through any kind of loss will have your complete understanding and support, and you will be able to know exactly how this person feels without them saying a word.
Both love and pain will be something you are now able to comprehend much more intimately, and everything you do and say from now on will come from a place of utmost kindness and compassion.