Why is the hero instinct so important?
The ability of a woman to be caring, loving, selfless, and simply always there is one of the most exquisite things about her.
We, as women, are natural caretakers. We want to help. We want to fix things and make our man feel needed.
We want to be the voice of reason and a shoulder to cry on for the men in our lives.
We are drawn to those in need because of our intuitive abilities to help when we’re needed most. We are almost able to read our man’s mind or at least know what’s bugging him.
But what we fail to see is that by being so selfless and giving with our love and effort, we deny our men their primal urges and the needs that they were all born with: their hero instincts.
You see, when you’re always on top of things and never allow your man to prove to you how worthy and capable he is, you are, in a way, taking away a man’s hero instinct.
I understand this may sound a bit perplexing, but think about it.
- Men are taught their whole life to idolize superheroes. Just look at all the Marvel fascination in the past God-knows-how-many years. They dress up as superheroes. When it comes to your man, it’s probably his secret obsession as well.
- They worship them, and all they can talk about is which superpower is the best one to have. And when you translate this to their real lives, what they really want is to be a hero for you.
- They can’t exactly have actual superpowers and spur into action when a villain suddenly decides to destroy their city, but they sure can be the best damn hero to their girl!
- So when you leave them with nothing to help you with, and with no way to be of service to you, they are left feeling a bit pointless and unessential. And all men want is to be needed and wanted.
- Their everyday circumstances mostly leave them not feeling particularly fulfilled, so they strive to find a girl that is going to let them be her own personal hero every now and then.
In a way, this is a really sweet notion, and you can’t really blame your guy for feeling this way, can you?
Now, I know you’re probably more than capable of being your own hero. You are strong and badass.
You’ve never felt that need for a man to complete you, and that is admirable. Good on you.
You are kind. You have plenty to offer, and the last thing you would expect in your life is for a hero to come sweep you off your feet.
And that’s the whole point. You don’t need one, but you sure as hell can let your man be that for you every now and again.
Nobody would think less of you. Nobody would think that you’re some damsel in distress who counts on men to save her from her demons.
You’re good on your own. But your man needs to have a purpose in your life as well, don’t you agree?
He needs to know that you do need him to some extent, otherwise, what’s the point? He needs to feel like he’s the one you’ll call when you’re in need, without thinking twice.
When you relinquish some control, you will understand how amazing it is having your own hero who will be there whenever you need him.
He knows you can do it on your own. All he needs is to show you that you don’t have to do everything by yourself and spread yourself so thin.
He’s got you!
How to get your man’s attention
Hero instinct is a basic, fundamental need in every man to feel important and needed – especially in his woman’s life and in the circle of his closest friends.
This need is what pushes him forward and makes him strive to be the best he can be. He sets high standards for himself and he sticks to them. Men fall for women who make them better, who make them work harder and really deserve their love.
Every man’s deepest desire is to be the one and only in his woman’s heart.
When he does, he gives that woman his heart on a silver platter and is there to protect her in good times and bad.
The more you appreciate your man, the more he will appreciate you. It’s a known fact that unlocks the hero instinct inside him. Give him your heart, let him be your rock, and don’t hesitate to vent to him.
According to James Bauer (a dating coach and relationship advice expert), a man who is in a relationship where his hero instinct isn’t triggered is less likely to stay in that relationship.
So if you know how to unlock that instinct with the help of useful hero instinct phrases (you can find out if they work for you in His Secret Obsession review) you’ll figure out exactly what your man wants and needs from you. This will result in many perks for both him and you!
- You can use text messages to let him know of a thousand and one ways he inspires you and makes your life richer on a daily basis.
- You will rise to unbelievable levels of influence once you learn to speak his language of desire. Be vocal about it and tell him what he needs to hear.
- Your relationship will thrive once your man’s needs to protect and love you are fulfilled because it will make you both feel more comfortable and at ease with each other.
- Your emotional needs will be met and both partners will feel satisfied with their role in the relationship.
- As independent and strong as you are, it is always comforting knowing your man’s got your back, and then some.
Here is how you can unlock that hero instinct in him in 3 simple ways!
1. Ask him for help with everyday random things
I’m sure you can take care of your basic needs, and you don’t need a man to do stuff for you.
But the next time your computer starts acting up, think about giving him a call and asking if maybe he’s got an idea what’s up with it.
Ask him for advice because, who knows, maybe he’s had similar issues recently.
Even if he’s not a computer whiz, he may remember his own experience with the same issue.
If your car won’t start, go to him for help. That’s going to make him feel needed and manly (and what guy doesn’t like to feel manly, let’s be honest…)
If you can’t open a jar of pickles, there’s your excuse to trigger that hero instinct in him!
It’s a really small gesture, and he’ll be none the wiser as to why you’re asking him to help you with it.
If he’s taller than you, ask him for help if you can’t reach something on the top shelf.
And then offer a big smile of appreciation for his kind assistance. And remember, it’s always those little things that go a long way!
He’ll be your own superhero in the most random, everyday things, and at the end of the day, isn’t that what life is all about?
2. Just enjoy and appreciate his company
Guys love girls who can just chill with them at their place, without needing to always talk about serious stuff or do all kinds of things all the time. Just enjoy his company and the things he likes to do!
So what if his place isn’t the neatest place you’ve ever been to? He’s a guy!
As long as it’s not a complete pigsty, let him enjoy his messy apartment.
Men don’t have the need to clean 24/7 like most girls do, and that’s totally fine.
Let him enjoy his fantasy football team without nagging all the time. If he wants to watch the Knicks, watch the game with him!
Don’t you think he’d be happy that his girlfriend is interested in things he loves?
Don’t force him to always do stuff you want to do. Sometimes, it’s necessary to let your man just be a man, and dedicate time to things he’s passionate about.
He doesn’t have a problem with you getting your hair done or going for mani-pedis all the time, so why shouldn’t he enjoy his sports and have a few beers?
Grab one yourself, get cozy on the couch, and do stuff he likes to do. He’s going to feel appreciated and like a total man!
3. Challenge him and let him earn your respect
What do heroes love more than anything? A challenge! A chance to prove themselves, do some good, and be of service to whoever needs their help.
So indulge your man, and let him be your hero by making him earn your respect.
Don’t just give him your love and respect on a silver platter. Make him earn it. That way, he will enjoy it more profoundly.
What your man craves is your love and your time.
But giving him a challenge that proves he’s the man for you is going to make it all feel that much more satisfying for him… and perhaps even for you.
Sit back, relax, and make him work for it. Provide him with opportunities to prove he’s the hero you want in your life.
Make him earn your admiration, and enjoy watching him go to all those lengths just for you.
Let him win you over, and it’s guaranteed you will make him feel emotionally fulfilled.
And when a woman knows how to satisfy the emotional need in her man, there is truly nothing more to ask for.
That is the ultimate level of commitment.
This will fulfill his heart (as well as yours), and there won’t be a thing he wouldn’t do for you.
He’s going to be your hero, and you’ll be forever his favorite girl.
His hero instinct is that which is a hidden need inside of him, fulfills his basic emotional needs, and leaves him feeling completely fulfilled.
When your man professes his love for you, and when he tells you you’re all he’ll ever need, chances are, there is something he isn’t telling you.
There is still something missing. And that is exactly that hero instinct we’ve covered here.
If that deep emotional need isn’t met, he is not going to feel complete, no matter what he tells you.
He is going to try and tell himself he’s got all he needs, but in all honesty, he is going to seek a woman who can give that to him.
Most women aren’t even aware this exists and can’t provide their man with that basic need that they can’t live without.
But now that you’re aware of this hero instinct, you are in the perfect position to captivate your man’s heart and give him what he truly needs, without him needing to tell you.
If you’re finally ready to take that final step in your relationship and let your man go to the ends of the earth for you, take those three simple steps that will bring you closer to each other than ever before.