For as long as they can remember, men have been struggling with finding the perfect way of approaching a woman. Many have even given up on approaching women first because they have been rejected so many times that their self-esteem and confidence is barely above zero. If you’re sitting at a bar full of attractive men but none of them is approaching you, this might be the reason. But no matter whether he gave up on that or not, men are still men and they have always that desire and need to get to the woman they like. When they spot a woman like that, they have a simple process in their mind which determines whether they should approach her or just walk away. By understanding that process, you can adjust yourself and maybe get the right man to approach you (we’re not talking about the creeps in the bars). Here are 3 simple questions men ask themselves before deciding to approach a woman:

1. Is she single?

After “scanning” you, this is the first thing a man will try to find out. He will look at your company first, trying to figure out if any of the men around you could be your boyfriend. If you have a male friend around you who is either too touchy with you or just too freaking big, there is no chance that the guy sitting in the corner will approach you. The next thing he will be looking for is your wedding or engagement ring. It’s not very likely that you’re gonna be approached by a guy when wearing a ring. In general, a guy will first consciously or subconsciously try to figure out whether or not you’re single, and if he notices or feels that you have a man in your life, it’s a lot less likely that he’s gonna approach you—which brings us to the second question.

2. Is she approachable?

A guy will always analyze your behavior first, before approaching you. He will try to see if you’re closed down or open. Does she flirt? Does she exchange glances, smiles, winks? There is a general aura around every single individual and if the guy senses that you’re not open, that you don’t have that flirty, happy attitude, then it’s not very likely that he’s going to approach you. This doesn’t mean that you have to flirt with everyone around you or have an awkward smile on your face the whole night, but just act naturally and not frighteningly, and you did half the job already.

3. Is she into me?

This is the last and most important question for a man before he decides to approach a woman. He’s not necessarily trying to figure if you’d be willing to spend the rest of your life with him and have 5 of his kids, but he wants to know if there is something, a little spark between you two that could make him go after you. Why? Even though he finds you attractive, that fear of being rejected will always hold him back, and unless he feels some kind of chemistry between you two, the likelihood that he will approach you is significantly lowered.

When men connect with you, they are making split-second decisions, asking themselves these 3 simple questions or a combination of them. So, perhaps think about how you behave when you go out: creating or not creating connections; seeming approachable or not seeming approachable—these will dictate the chances of him trying his luck with you, and who knows, maybe marking the beginning of a beautiful story.


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