If you are not aware yet, romance is rarely like we see it in Hollywood movies, though there have been a couple of films that exposed the whole “he’s not into you” thing. Fine, we get it, but it is still Hollywood ― things are different in Hollywood. IRL, the most frustrating position a woman could be in is trying to figure out whether a guy they are crushing on is into them or not. It can become a pretty sticky situation for women because we don’t know if we are setting ourselves up for disappointment or not. Whether we listen to our hearts or minds, when it comes to love, it is difficult to read the signals of the opposite gender. We know Steve Harvey wrote Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, and though that helped, we still do not know what is going on 100% in their minds.
This is how it often goes: You think you have met the most perfect guy, a guy that has everything you have ever been looking for. Not only that, but he woos you by taking you on fancy dates, always texts and calls you and makes you feel as special as you truly are. Next thing that happens, you fall for this “perfect” guy. Now, suddenly, you sense a change in conversation and you’re not seeing him as much; you’re all confused and don’t know what to think about this smoking guy who put you on cloud 9.
What to do next? Look for all the signs we are about to let you in on to know if he is not into you.
25-He’s A Flirt
It is nerve-wracking wondering if a guy is into you or not, but once you read these hints that seem little but actually huge, it’ll be much easier to know where you stand. We know it is easy to fall for the type of guy who is a huge flirt, but if flirting is a hobby for him, then there is a problem. Just because he is flirting with you, that does not mean he is into you. Unless he makes a move, he is probably flirting with other women too.
24-He Looks Around
Men are hunters, but if you guys are on a date together, please do not believe his “I accidentally looked” reply. If you’re out at a restaurant or coffee shop with the guy who swept you off your feet, and you sense he is checking out other women and their goodies, you’re certainly right. Always trust your intuition. If he has wandering eyes, and not eyes only for you, then he surely is not 100% all about you.
23-Listen To Your BFFs
Sometimes, we hang on so tight to a guy, even when our friends tell us not to. Well, if ever you are trying to find out if this guy you like is digging you, the answer may lie in your friends. We now live by this rule, and so should you too, as your friends know you better than anyone, most of the time anyways. If they feel a man does not like you because he is not welcoming and warm, then he is not good for you, and they’re probably right.
22-He Never Has Time
We doubt you are constantly asking to see him, but if you are the one who is doing the asking, and he always gives you the “I’m busy” answer, then it is time to ditch him. This is a classic excuse, and another way for telling you that he is not interested.
Do not make excuses for him because this is a classic “not into you” excuse.
Yes, some men have a heavy and hectic schedule, but he is just being “nice” by brushing you off with that reply.
21-He Ditches You, Often
Sticking to the whole seeing one another situation, if he does actually make plans with you, whether it be your or him that asked, but he bails…what do you think we are going to say next? He is not the one and neither is he worth your time ― unless in his defence, something serious came up. If that is the case, a guy who is into you will immediately find a way to make it up to you. However, if he bails on you hours before, you’re not his priority.
20-If You’re Reading This…
Don’t listen to your heart or mind, listen to your gut. Ultimately, if you are reading this article it is because your gut is having doubts ― and what did your mother always tell you?
Follow your initial instincts.
If you ask yourself right now if he is into you, and you are finding yourself searching for answers, you must be brave enough to believe that your intuition is correct. If you feel he is distant and pulling away, please follow your gut and let go.
19-He Doesn’t Care About What You Do
At the beginning, when he first met you, he asked questions about your hobbies; like which shows you hardcore follow or which books you read. Suddenly, he is not interested in what you do, neither is he curious about what you are up to. That right there, is a drastic enough change to prove to you he is not the guy. And if you are with him, and he does not ask you about your day or activities, then say goodbye.
18-Texting Isn’t Equal
Nowadays, we live in a world where primary communication is based on texting, so evidently his texting habits with you say a lot about where you stand with him. We are all responsible for the whole double-text shenanigans; we are not saying there is anything wrong with it, but that is only if he is doing the same. Is he sending you double texts too? Is he only sending a single text? If you are sending three separate texts constantly and he only one on multiple occasions, he might not be as into you.
17-His Timing Is Off
Speaking of texting, even if he is messaging you, the timing is everything. Ladies, do not be naïve, you know that the hours a guy texts you makes a huge difference. If you want to know if he is feeling you the way you are, then keep track of when he is texting you. If the guy you are going gaga over is asking you “what are you doing?” or “how is your day?” at 11 p.m. and after, chances are, well, you know what I am going to say next.
16-He Uses Pet Names, Always
Has it only been 2 weeks you are talking and he is already calling you “babe?” Did he call you babe the first day you guys spoke? Don’t necessarily fall for it. Evidently, some girls will fall for the whole babe tactic and think they are uniquely special to him, while he is using it on many other women as well. But, with our advice, we want to tell you to find the next exit if he is calling you babe the first day you guys talk.
15-If He Only Sees You When He Wants To
If a guy has no interest in something, it will always be difficult to convince him to invest time into it. Now, if you’re asking to see him, and he often says no, then asks to see you, and literally begs to see you in that moment, run for your life. We are warning you to head for the hills if you only see this man when it is convenient for him. A guy who is into you will always want to see you, not only when he feels like it.
14-He’s Super Confusing
We all do this, don’t lie; we send screenshots of our texts with the guy we like to our besties. Well, if you are sending texts to your girl friends about him, captioning the screenshot with some confused emoji, it is a bad sign. If a guy likes you, he will not have you feeling confused more than anything else. If some moments you feel he likes you, and then you find yourself saying “What the…” then he probably does not want you.
13-He Only Texts You For One Thing
You first met him, and he seemed like Prince Charming; he swept you off your feet with his sweet words and wooed you, but now he is the king of something else. What might that be? If you never hear from him, except for very late nights, like at 3 a.m. after a night out, then drop him. You don’t want a guy who does not want you for who you are; you don’t want a guy who thinks of you only when he’s “happy.
12-He Doesn’t Get Jealous, Ever
If a guy is into you, then he won’t like the competition. This means, if ever you mention another man to him, whether it be a friend or another guy who has been cruising you, pay attention to how he reacts ― look into his eyes too.
If his eyes are beaming because he is paying attention, this reaction shows he is into you.
If not, if he brushes it off and shows absolutely no jealousy, he could not care less about you.
11- He Doesn’t Pick Up The Tab, Ever
This is a tough one, but we had to bring it up because it does say a lot about what the man you like is thinking. This is not to be taken personally by any man, but chivalry is still taken seriously if a man is into a girl ― especially if he wants to impress her.
What matters here is the effort the man is taking, not whether he is paying your part of the bill or not.
If he at least tries to pay for your meal, or movie ticket, chances are, he is interested in you. If not, you may just be friends.
10-He Doesn’t Talk To You First
Do not chase. We will say it again, do not chase. If a guy likes you, then he will love talking to you and getting to know you, which means he will be hunting you down. Now, if he isn’t, then he will not be the first to text you.
When a guy is into you, it is simple and straight up, he will always be the first to initiate conversation with you.
Maybe you are both the type who prefer talking on the phone, but the same applies; if he does not call you first, he’s just not that into you.
9-He Doesn’t Take You Out
This is a big one ― we mean it. If you have not figured this one out yet, then we are here to give you the green light to run away. Some guys like being low-key, we get it; they prefer just hanging out at home with a movie or sports game on.
That is cool, however, what is not cool is if he has not taken you out on an actual and real date.
If he is not treating you like you’re special by taking you out, and hiding you in his home, he does not want more with you.
8-He Doesn’t Do As Much For You
Do not be the rug that he walks all over, because if that’s what he is doing, he ain’t a keeper.
If you’re the one who is going the extra mile to see him, or are the only one who is doing stuff for him and he doesn’t reciprocate, then he will end up taking advantage.
If he is expecting things from you, but he does not take that extra step for you, be gone, girl.
7-He Talks About Other Women
Are you seeing him, and he is talking to you about other women? Woah, we hope you have already stopped contacting him because that is a “you’re just my friend” slap in the face.
If he spends his time talking to you about other women, or asks you for advice about them, do you really have to question where you stand?
It is normal that if you’re not official, he may be talking to other women too, but he is indeed more serious about them if so.
6-He’s Always Apologizing
Does he keep making mistakes and jumping to a petty “I’m sorry?” That is another sign that screams “I’m not into you.” Why? Because the guy who adores you and wants you to be his, will not have anything to apologize for in the beginning. Okay, yes, we are all human, and we all make mistakes, but if he likes you, he won’t mess up, especially more than once. Now is the time to tell him that you’re sorry he’s losing out on you.
5-He Doesn’t Listen
When you’re talking to him, do you feel like you are talking to yourself or to a wall? Does he appear to be in another world? If that is the case, then the guy who is not properly listening you does not want to be with you.
He shouldn’t be distracted when you guys are together, and you should not question if he is actually listening to you or not.
If he doesn’t want you to be his girl, he will show you he is not fully present.
4-He Doesn’t Help You
When you need help, or something bad happens, you usually will reach out to a man, or the man you are talking to. If you are having a crisis, or an emergency, then he will, without question, be there for you as a helping hand. It could be something like a family loss, and though you are only casually dating, it will tell you a lot about him by how he handles the situation. If he does not care though, he won’t be there to comfort you, neither will he be concerned.
3-He Isn’t Emotional
If a guy is not into you, then do not ever expect him to spill the beans. What we mean is that he will not be vulnerable, and neither will he open up emotionally. If you really like this guy, chances are, you are asking him questions to get him to open up and evaluate how he feels about you. However, a guy who does not want you, will not let you in; his emotions will be kept locked up.
2-He Makes You Wait
You are valuable girl, so do not waste your precious time on a man who is not worth it. The kind of guy who is not into you will keep you waiting around.
While you’re sitting back on your couch waiting for the guy you like to reply and confirm your plans, he is most likely intentionally doing so.
If you’re waiting for him to confirm that date night you’re supposed to have, then maybe it is time you stop lingering around.
1-He Doesn’t Bring You Around His Friends
Meeting the friends is huge, so have you? He cares what his friends think, so if he is into you, he is going to bring you around the people that matter most. However, a man who is not interested in progressing with you will completely avoid making you meet his friends. Things will not get serious if you still have not met his boys. A man cares about his friends’ opinions, so if he is arranging to only have you go over, and not hang at a bar with his friends, forget him.