Often when a relationship doesn’t work, one half of the partnership automatically assumes that it’s the other person who’s in the wrong. Sometimes that may actually be the case, but it’s still easy to look past one’s own flaws and point the finger at someone else.
Though it’s hard to admit when one might be turning into someone they never thought they would, it’s a crucial step. Each partner wants to be able to recognize when they’re the one who’s turning toxic in the relationship.
Whether they’re acting in a way that’s toxic already or are slowly heading down that road, it doesn’t have to mean the end of the relationship. As long as they can identify that they’re the one causing the problems, and not their partner, the responsible party can start making changes to fix the damage.
Not all relationships can be saved, but facing the music is still better than living in the dark. And it’s never too late to start working on one’s own self for the next relationship.
So what makes a girlfriend toxic? It’s pretty much the same things that make a boyfriend toxic. Keep reading to learn the signs that a girl is slowly becoming that toxic GF she never thought she’d be.
25-She’s Not Honest With Her Partner
Honesty is super important in any relationship. As soon as the lies begin, there’s almost a snowball effect, and they tend to keep getting worse until they bury you under.
Constantly lying to your partner and never being straight with them is a sign that you’re turning toxic.
We all deserve to hear the truth, especially from someone we’re in a relationship with. Some lies seem worse than others, but even so, lying should never become a habit in a relationship.
24-There Is One Standard For Her Partner, And Another For Her
Double standards have no place in a relationship, and if you’re starting to bring them into yours, it’s not a good sign. Nobody likes to be on the short-straw end of double standards, so it’s not fair to go down this road. A common one is not allowing your boyfriend to have any female friends, but having male friends yourself. Or not allowing him to look through your phone, but demanding to look through his. What’s good for one should be good for the other.
23-She Purposely Withholds Emotional Support
Many people enter into relationships in the first place because of the emotional support they get in return. That’s the very best part!
Being with someone isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it because they are there for you when you need it, and you can lean on them in hard times.
Purposely withholding that support is a form of toxic behavior that’s totally negative. In other words, it’s not good for either person in the relationship, and it should stop ASAP.
22-Criticizing Is Her Favorite Pastime
There’s a difference between constructive criticism and constantly picking on your partner. As we said, honesty is important, so there’s definitely a time for constructive criticism between you and your partner. But it becomes a problem when it turns into picking. A criticism that’s helpful is never rude or mean, and though it may be harsh, it is intended to help. Picking, on the other hand, tends to come from the desire to put the other person down.
21-She Has No Respect For Their Privacy
Just because two people are in a relationship does not mean that they suddenly give up their right to privacy. Sure, they may be very involved in each other’s lives, and this will only become more intense as they get closer.
But they should still respect each other’s space.
When you start challenging your partner’s right to privacy, they can feel smothered and controlled. Ultimately, they can even feel resentful. It’s not a good idea! Good partners respect each other’s privacy.
20-The Relationship Embarrasses Her, And She Hides It
If you’re embarrassed to be in a relationship with someone, you might have to re-think whether being with that person is the right move for you at the time. It could be that the other person just isn’t right for you. Or it could be that you care too much about what other people think. But either way, it’s not fair to openly be embarrassed by your partner and try to hide the relationship from the outside world. That’s a good way to really hurt someone’s feelings!
19-She Refuses To Trust Her S.O., Though They Are Worthy Of It
It could be that your significant other really isn’t worthy of your trust. But if that’s the case, it could be time to leave the relationship behind.
If you’ve been with them for a while and they’ve done nothing to jeopardize your trust and you still treat them like a criminal, you might be the one who can’t be trusted.
It’s like a slap in the face when you work really hard to show someone you’re trustworthy and they’re still suspicious of you.
18-No Matter What, She Always Has To Have Her Way
We all like getting our way, but the difference between the good girlfriends and the toxic ones is that the toxic ones can’t stand it when they don’t get theirs. Relationships involve compromise, and giving up your original plans and desires is sometimes part of the deal. It shouldn’t always be one person doing the compromising while the other always gets their way—in an equal relationship, both people accommodate. Always having to get your way is toxic behavior.
17-She Can’t Control Her Mood
When mood swings get out of control, they can be toxic. It could be a sign that you’re the one bringing the negativity into your relationship if you’re always in a foul mood.
When one partner is always in a mood, the other may start to feel apprehensive about seeing them.
They may also feel stressed or unsafe and definitely won’t enjoy spending time together. And once the relationship gets to that stage, the problem needs to be addressed.
16-All She Cares About Are Her Needs
Two people in the relationship mean that two sets of needs should be considered. It’s not uncommon for relationships to sway—one week it’s all about person A and the next week it’s all about person B. But overall, there should be a balance. It turns toxic when one person’s needs are all that matters, and the other person’s aren’t even considered. If you care about your needs and not your significant other’s, you may have a problem on your hands.
15-She Can’t Function Without Him
A lot of people don’t realize that being too clingy can actually be classified as toxic behavior too.
Although this sometimes comes from a place of affection, it’s not healthy for either person.
If you’re always hanging around your partner, they’re going to feel smothered sooner or later, which will lead to problems. And people should be able to function without their significant others there. When they can’t, it could indicate issues relating to insecurity or self-esteem.
14-Her Partner’s Happiness Doesn’t Make Her Happy
When two people are deeply in love, they understand each other like nobody else can, and they care so deeply for one another that they start to share their emotions. If something good happens in your partner’s life, it’s normal to feel as happy as if it were happening in yours. And if something bad happens to you, it should upset them too. There could be an issue if seeing your partner happy doesn’t make you happy, or worse, makes you upset or angry.
13-She Can’t Handle Her Partner Interacting With Other Females
To dictate to your significant other that they can’t interact with other women besides you is kind of harsh.
Even if you don’t voice your concerns, if you feel upset or threatened whenever they do, that sounds pretty toxic.
It’s understandable if your partner has a tricky past or is a notorious flirt, but in that case, it might be a better idea to reconsider the entire relationship rather than worrying yourself sick every time he talks to another girl.
12-She Feels The Need To Control Her Partner’s Identity
Another part of being in a relationship is accepting your partner for who they are. And in return, you are accepted for who you are, and you create a space where you can both be yourselves and everything’s cool. Controlling your partner’s identity, on the other hand, is toxic behavior and has to stop. That includes controlling what they’re wearing, what job they have, who their friends are, what hobbies they take up, and how they spend their time.
11-During Arguments, She Chooses Hurtful Words
You’re not the worst person in the world if you’ve accidentally said something to your significant other in the heat of anger that you can’t take back. Trust us—we’ve all been there.
But it does become a problem when you’re having arguments all the time, and you’re repeatedly hitting below the belt and choosing words that are hurtful and upsetting.
Words are exceptionally powerful, and nobody deserves to be constantly attacked in this way by their partner.
10-She Refuses To Spend Time With Her Partner’s Friends And Family
We know—it can be tough when you don’t get along with your partner’s friends or family. And having to spend a lot of time with people you don’t like can be draining. But it’s also tough when you’re with someone who refuses to spend time with the people in your life. If things aren’t totally bad between you all, it’s a good idea to at least make a little effort, for the sake of your partner’s happiness and the future of your relationship.
9-When They Talk, She Doesn’t Really Pay Attention
Sometimes it’s easy to zone out when your partner is talking to you. This is especially true at the end of a long day when you’re exhausted. As long as this doesn’t happen all the time, it’s not the biggest deal.
But it is a big deal, and not in a good way, if you never pay attention to your significant other when they’re talking to you.
Listening to someone else is a basic form of respect, which should be a given in a romantic relationship.
8-She Uses Crying As A Weapon
Crying in itself isn’t toxic behavior, especially if you happen to be a sensitive or emotional person. That said, purposely crying to emotionally manipulate your partner is definitely toxic behavior. They say that all is fair in love and war, but this is totally not fair at all! This may get you what you want, but probably leaves your partner feeling angry and resentful, and like their feelings don’t matter just because there are tears running down your face.
7-Forgetting Important Dates Is No Big Deal To Her
Every now and then, you might forget a date that’s special to your relationship. It sucks, but it happens.
It might be toxic behavior, though, when you’re constantly forgetting the important dates and anniversaries, and you don’t care.
This is toxic because it essentially makes any partner feel bad, and will probably make yours feel like they mean nothing to you. If someone can’t be bothered to remember their anniversary, it suggests that the relationship might not be that important to them.
6-She Holds Grudges For The Silliest Reasons
Holding grudges isn’t healthy behavior for anybody in the equation, but sometimes they’re hard to let go of. If someone has really hurt you, it’s understandable that you’d hold a grudge, even if doing so isn’t good for you. But when you’re always holding things against your partner—particularly when they’re because of the most trivial things—it’s toxic. That creates an environment of resentment, puts a lot of distance between you, and stops you from moving on.
5-Her Ex Interests Her More Than Her Current Partner
Being friends with an ex is okay, but they shouldn’t be more important to you than your current partner. And if they are, and your current partner knows that they’re not the highest on your list of priorities, it’s a big problem.
Doing this is likely to make any partner feel bad, and may even provoke them to react in anger.
Acting obsessed with your ex is definitely not the quickest way to peace and harmony in a relationship.
4-She Constantly Complains About Wishing She Were Single
When someone is always complaining—about anything—it brings the mood down. It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who is always whining about something, and it’s even worse when they’re whining because they wish they were single. If you do this, whether it’s in front of your significant other or not, it’s a sign that you could be turning into that toxic girlfriend you said you’d never be. It’s totally unfair to any partner.
3-Admitting She’s Wrong Is Beneath Her
We’re all wrong sometimes, and making mistakes in a relationship isn’t toxic. Mistakes help us learn, don’t forget.
But not admitting when you make those mistakes, and never owning it when you’ve done something wrong? Kind of toxic.
Refusing to admit you’re in the wrong usually pins the blame on the other person, which isn’t right. It also stops things from moving forward, because you can’t resolve the issue at hand without someone admitting they were at fault.
2-She’s Not Grateful For All Her Partner Does For Her
Being grateful for and acknowledging your partner should be a given, and yet, so many of us forget to do it. It’s not always a grave crime if you forget to say thank you for the little things, but being blatantly oblivious to how great your partner is and acting in an unappreciative, entitled way is toxic. A couple should often let each other know how grateful they are for each other, whether they say it or find another way to show their feelings.
1-She Has Ulterior Motives For Being In The Relationship
This should come as no surprise. Using your partner and being in the relationship in the first place because you want something other than love or companionship counts as toxic behavior.
The first thing that comes to mind is using your partner for their money, or using them for a place to live, or using them to make your ex jealous.
Playing with people’s feelings like that for your own benefit is as toxic as it gets—and that’s a no-no in any relationship or friendship.