It is not rocket science; no relationship is perfect, and all relationships are like a full-time job that requires a lot of work.
When a new relationship starts, we get caught in the thrill of it, because it is always rays of sunshine and rainbows, right? Wrong. We become slightly blind and miss out on the signs that clearly indicate the relationship may not stand the test of time.
What happens is that we spend a lot of time stuck on Honeymoon Avenue, so we do not recognize right away when someone is just not meant for us, and not actually our person. However, this does not mean we want anyone to stress out over every detail, but just to be a little more vigilant about the tiny signs that signify the relationship most probably won’t work.
People move at different paces, so it is possible that even though she loves him and knows he’s “the one,” it may take him longer to see the long-term potential of the relationship. But sadly, not every relationship ends up happily ever after.
The signs are quite subtle, but after reading and learning about them, they will make total sense. We are here to help all women reading this who think they have found their Prince Charming, but are actually stuck in a relationship that won’t last.
25-He Lacks In Communication
One telltale sign is communication; right off the bat, you should pay close attention to how he communicates with you. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. It should not feel forced and/or unnatural. Both partners should feel like they can discuss anything and everything together, but if she is afraid to tell him certain things because of his reaction, it is a bad sign.
Similarly, if he forgets to tell her about his promotion at work, or something important related to his family, there is a problem and she doesn’t belong there.
24-He’d Rather Spend Time With Friends (Like Even Going On Vacation With Them Instead Of Her)
We all want a go-to person that we can share a lazy night in with, but if he feels like it is an obligation to hang with his girlfriend, it’s an early red flag. You find yourself over the moon with this guy and wanting to spend every minute with him, but he’d rather chill home with the guys. Does that sound like a healthy relationship with equal feelings?
We know guys love to hang with their boys, which is totally cool, but if he makes a habit out of ditching the woman who loves him to see his friends instead, the relationship should end. And the cherry on top? If he would even take a boys trip down south over going somewhere special with his SO.
23-He Doesn’t Prioritize Her (He’d Rather Play Video Games)
He is her main priority, but she isn’t his. See the problem here? We often let it go right past us, but if you’re not your man’s highest priority, then why are you with him? A soulmate will always make their partner their number one priority.
That is how a relationship works; that is how a woman knows that she is with a man who cares for her, and if he does, prioritizing her is the simplest thing to do. She should basically be on the top of his “to-do list,” and if video games win instead of her every time, he probably still needs to grow up and isn’t the one – at least for now.
22-He Doesn’t Care For Her Opinion (On Anything)
Having different opinions on things is totally normal, but if her opinion is always wrong, and not to his liking, he isn’t her person as much as she may think.
Relationships are about compromise, and if he is not even willing to do that, then how will they be successful as a couple? It is unfair if a girl sticks with a man who completely disregards her input, even if she loves him.
It is important to remember that you’re a human being as much as he is and that not seeing eye-to-eye on everything is normal, but it becomes a problem when your opinion on anything from children to sports is not valued.
21-He Is Still Stuck In The Past (Like On His Ex)
Brand new relationships come with their ups and downs, and sometimes as women we fall in love quicker, but pay close attention to what he says about his ex-girlfriend.
If he is constantly bringing her up (even if he is badmouthing her), chances are he is still hung up on her. Somewhere along the line, the chord between you and him needs to get cut quickly because he probably is not ready for a long-term future since his mindset is still stuck in the past.
This one is a real deal-breaker and this sign usually appears early on, so keep your ears – not heart – open.
20-He Does Not Put Equal Effort Into The Relationship (Including Not Planning Dates)
If both people do not put equal effort into a relationship, it could come tumbling down. How can one tell from the beginning that he is not giving back equal effort? Little things, like not planning date nights or not following through with plans, are signs.When a woman loves a man, the effort is only worth it when it is repaid.
Both parties need to put in the time and effort to advance at a happy pace, even when the honeymoon phase is over. Imagine a world like that! Sadly, many women do not recognize when men make a pinch of effort only because they are blinded by love.
19-He Has Different Life Goals (Like Continuing School)
When a woman falls for a man, she never thinks he is going to leave, but sometimes a man has different life goals, goals that could potentially pull them apart. Forget the seven-year-itch – some men wake up one day and decide they want to do something else with their lives without consulting their partners.
Now, this does not mean he does not love her, but that he is putting himself, and himself only, first – without her in the picture. If a new job or going back to school comes between them, it is because they were not meant to be, and he does not love her enough to maintain the relationship like she would have.
18-He Avoids Talking About The Future At All Costs
“My love, when would you want to move out?” she asks her boyfriend as he looks around the room as if she may be talking to someone else.
Has that happened to you before? If so, he is clearly not on the same page as you. If you sense that he is unwilling to take the next step towards the future with you, he may not be in the same state of mind, and a woman deserves a man who wants the same things.
Hearing you talk about getting married and having children with him only gives him anxiety and cold feet, and he may not move past that anytime soon.
17-He Is Not On The Same Page (Feelings-Wise)
There are common issues in relationships that people can’t get past, like not being on the same page.
If a woman is crazy in love with her man, he needs to be on that exact same level. A relationship needs balance, yes, but not imbalance. Why? If she loves with all her heart and he does not feel the same way, it’ll be clear and obvious and when she realizes it, it will really hurt.
He will either tell you straight up or subtly, so watch out for that because you cannot force a man to love you or want you.
16-He Is Always Hot And Cold (One Day There’s Flowers, The Next An Argument)
Katy Perry didn’t sing “you’re hot then you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no” for nothing.
Every man will do some off-colour things at the beginning of a relationship, but if he isn’t constant, there’s an issue. He cannot be showering you with gifts and compliments one day and then throwing it all back in your face the next. That is not loving, that is instability at its finest, and no woman should put up with it.
Be careful not to instantly fall for his lavish gifts, and watch his behaviour afterwards. We get you may defend the “hot” side of him, but you cannot be loved by a person who changes his attitude like he changes his underwear.
15-He Doesn’t Connect With Her Spiritually
We know opposites do attract, but that is not what we are pointing at here. When there is a huge gap in the way partners view things, there could be emergency 9-1-1 problems.
If his values do not align with hers, and he does not try to meet her halfway, they won’t work long-term. If they are of different religions and faith, for example, and he does not respect her religion or try to understand or accept her beliefs, she really needs to re-evaluate her relationship, even if she truly loves him.
Love is not only physical, but spiritual, so if he cannot connect with her on that level, they will never be happy.
14-He Doesn’t Respect Her
Envision your future a few years down the road…you see yourself with someone who respects you, right?
Respect is the foundation of a relationship, but some men engage in unfair behaviour and could not care less. She may love him, and she may brush it off every time he is disrespectful towards her, but that only makes the situation worse.
The main ingredient for a healthy relationship is respect, so if there is none of that, why hold on? Accepting disrespect is unhealthy.
13-He Is Hypercritical (Never Compliments Her)
It is best to know sooner than later that a man is not your “forever person.”
Does he criticize everything you wear? Or the makeup you put on? Do not mistake this for honesty, ladies. If a man never has anything good to say about his girl’s appearance, he is not worth it.
Flattery in a relationship is important; every girl wants to hear her man say she is beautiful, so it should not be hard work for him. This sign may come creeping into the relationship in slow doses, but listen carefully: one too many insults are not worth the one compliment he gives.
12-He Always Finds Things ‘Too Much’
The sweet woman that you are, you probably go bonkers for your man and show him that by getting him gifts and expressing your feelings, but he wants none of it.
If he cannot accept what comes with you and your love, the relationship will probably end, even if what you have is worth fighting for. This happens because some men get scared of love and all that comes with it; they do not realize the things that naturally come with a relationship, like gifts, a lot of adoration and cheesiness.
Plus, if that is the case, you deserve a man who will give you those things in return.
11-He Loves To Play Games (Like Testing Her Patience)
No relationship should feel like a game or war zone.
Many women fall in love with men even before getting into relationships with them (if they do), and some men make an entire festival of fun out of relationships; they take the girl they’re with on a wild ride.
You want a man who values chivalry, not a man who loves playing with your feelings as if you were a puppet on strings. When it comes to love, there’s no time for games, and if he is doing things for his sole amusement, like testing your patience, the love will never be equal. He is in it for fun, while you’re in it for something deeper.
10-He Is Barely Affectionate
This is a BIG one. What is a relationship without affection? Two people slugging around together unhappy.
If you find your partner is barely affectionate with you, do not just let it be. Suddenly, he doesn’t hug or caress you anymore, and pulls away when you smother him with affection; do not be surprised if he calls it off.
And there are even less noticeable cues, like him not telling you that he loves you back over the phone – yes, that is a sign of affection, too. Couples do go through rough patches with less affection, but if this has gone on for too long, it is a sign he ain’t your man.
9-He Isn’t Her Teammate
Do you feel like he is no longer on your team, or that you’re no longer teammates? This is a sign of a lack of engagement on his part. A true definition of #couplegoals would be a couple that operates together as a team – like they’re joined at the hip.
When you love someone, you’re there to cheer them on and comfort them, but if he isn’t doing the same for you, or has stopped supporting you, it is obvious that the future of your relationship is nonexistent. You may love him, but if you feel like you’re working alone, you shouldn’t ignore the sign, as things will only get worse.
8-He Makes It A Habit (No More Fun)
If things in a relationship get dull and bland early on because of him, why consider spending the rest of your life with him? We get it, you love him, but the fun should not dissipate altogether.
Fun is not only reserved for the honeymoon phase of the relationship, and it should be kept going by both partners equally. However, if on his side there is no spark and no sizzle left, it is because being with you is now only a habit; he feels obliged to spend time with you.
If he is the one for you, he’ll add spice to your life, and won’t make you feel like being with you is just a routine.
7-He Cannot Read Her
Some of us get to know our partners before they get to know us, which is understandable as people move at different paces.
The only time you should start to worry and consider letting the love of your life go is when you notice he really does not know you as well as you thought.
It does not take Einstein or one entire year to realize when your girl is upset or down, but if it seems like he does not know you well enough to know when you’re bothered, it is not a good sign.
Yes, we still learn about our partners every day, but recognizing when your partner needs some consolation should be easy, so do not make excuses for him. He should be able to read you without you saying a word.
6-He Can’t Be Trusted
If you do not want to be in Khloe Kardashian’s shoes, listen to your gut the first time.
A woman should without a doubt always be able to trust the man she plans on spending her life with because trust is the basis of a relationship. Many women tend to feel something’s off when it comes to their men’s loyalty, but they brush it off. Do not do that! If you’re feeling something’s not right, there’s usually a reason.
And we know that even if a man broke your trust, you may still love him, but the wound will never heal. You will always be anxious, paranoid and worrying and that is not healthy, nor is it worth it.
5-He Keeps Her A Secret (From Everyone)
You want to show him off to the world, yet he doesn’t even want his friends or the outdoor world to know you exist. We know that we do crazy things when we’re in love, but this is too far-fetched to even be deemed slightly acceptable.
You may love him, but he doesn’t want a relationship, or you may be in a relationship, but he hides you from parts of his life. This leaves you wondering where exactly you stand with him, and quite frankly, the relationship isn’t going to go anywhere further.
If a man is keeping you a secret by never introducing you to his friends and family, and you guys only Netflix and chill, there is a high chance things won’t work out.
4-He Doesn’t Let Her Be Herself
We all have faults and quirks, we’re only human, and he has to accept that; he cannot always expect you to be a perfect princess.
At the end of the day, a soulmate should accept his lady for the person that she is. She should not have to give up who she is and her personality to please him, because if he is going to commit to her he has to accept all that she is.
She shouldn’t have to stop sending him paragraph texts because it annoys him; no, he is not supposed to reject what makes her special. If any woman feels like she is constantly walking on eggshells because she is not one-hundred percent being herself, the relationship won’t grow.
3-He Hides Stuff From Her (But Doesn’t Respect Her Boundaries)
Because you love him you let him snoop around and go through your stuff, but why?Why is he allowed to cross the line while you cannot even go near his phone?
If he suddenly starts crossing boundaries and demanding to go through all your social media, the relationship is only going to go downhill from there. Even if you love him, this person is showing you his true colours by digging through your stuff yet not allowing you to do the same with his.
The damage is already done at this point, so let him pick up the pieces because we doubt you want to spend your future with a man who has such an unhealthy habit.
2-Arguments With Him Feel Like The End Of The World
Every time this man argues with you, it feels like he is about to leave you. If this sounds like your relationship with the man you love, you’re not mistaken for thinking you are doomed.
The arguments always get so heated that you think he is about to pop a vein and breakup with you each time, but each time you let it go because he never leaves you and “it was just another argument.” Wrong-o!
There is an issue if every time a problem arises, you think he is going to dump you. And there is no reason why you should accept that, even if you love him.
1-Trying To Change Each Other
A person will not change unless they want to. You can beg and plead, but he will remain the same man you first met. Yes, people can change, but if both of you are constantly nitpicking at each other’s faults, the fairytale won’t last.
Listen to him and listen to yourself closely, because if both of you express thoughts of change like, “You’d be perfect if you were funnier/kinder/more responsible,” there are problems. You may still love him, but you’re less happy than you think you are.
And, trying to change him will just make you unhappier.