How a relationship starts off is often critical to how it’s shaped for the remainder of time together. There’s no exact amount of time it’s supposed to take for a couple to hit it off—since it’s different in every relationship. Although Elite Daily estimates it takes about the first three months. They also mention that this period is usually the best. It doesn’t have a lot of the problems that plague relationships later on. Instead, two people can focus simply on getting to know each other and falling in love.
As perfect as that sounds though, it’s not always the case for new couples. The first 90 days can be really challenging for a relationship to get underway. In many instances, it ends with the guy getting cold feet. In the aftermath of the failed relationship, she’s left wondering what she could’ve done to prevent things from falling apart. On the other hand, she might not feel she did anything wrong. In reality, guys pick up on a lot more than they lead on. Even if she didn’t outwardly do anything really obvious that would turn him off, he’d run if he sensed anything was up. Here’s what a woman thinks early on in a relationship that a man can sense from a mile away.
20-Reading Too Much Into Him Won’t Help You, Girl
The first three months of any relationship are about getting to know each other. Though for some, three months takes too long. They’re ready to get serious right away.
As Vixen Daily points out—if you like a guy, you’re naturally going to want to know everything about him.
While there’s nothing wrong with feeling this way, it can become a problem when you start reading too much into everything.
What he says around you, or even what he does on social media, aren’t for you to dissect and pick apart. Otherwise, if he feels that you analyze everything he does, he’ll feel uncomfortable about the relationship.
19- Brimming With Jealousy?
There are some things that are impossible to hide. Jealousy is one of them. Early on, a couple isn’t even entitled to jealousy yet because they’re just started seeing each other. It’s not like they’re in a long-term commitment yet. Therefore if you find yourself feeling jealous about the way he spends his time with friends, try to ease up.
Elite Daily points out an important note about jealousy—you should only embrace the notion if he does something that makes it warranted. Otherwise, if it’s just your own insecurity, it will inevitably carry into your daily interactions with him.
18- Depending On Him Emotionally Can Wait
Once you find someone you’re ready to start dating, emotions are going to play a major part. They’re especially important regarding the relationship. Though there’s always the potential to go too far when emotions play a part.
Vixen Daily warns against letting him dictate your emotions because if you rely on what he does to make you happy, he’ll start to feel pressured to act a certain way whenever he’s around you.
It’s important that a relationship in its early stages doesn’t get bogged down with expectations about how one should act.
That’s usually a sign that emotions are playing too dominant of a role already.
17-Thriving On Drama Will Get Things Nowhere… Fast
If there’s drama in a relationship, both sides suffer as a result. Though if there’s one side that’s less willing to put up with drama long term, it’s men. According to Live About, drama is often identified as something that keeps coming up. Did you often get upset at how messy he was? Even if it was a big deal to you, it probably meant a lot less to him. If it was always coming up, he may have felt there was more drama going on than he could handle. Avoiding drama in the future may prevent him from calling it quits.
16- Measure Him Up To An Ex And He’s As Good As Gone
Although men appear to have rough exteriors, they’re actually more sensitive than they lead on. Something a man would rather not think about is whether or not you have any exes. According to Attract the One, what he fears most is that you might compare him to the past guys in your life.
When a guy feels like he isn’t as good as other men in your life, he starts to feel emasculated.
Calling a man’s masculinity into question is their kryptonite. This is especially difficult if you still have a friendship or relationship of some kind with your ex.
15-Forcing Chemistry Is One Way To Go From Fire To Fizzle
When a couple has chemistry, they share similar thoughts and feelings. Since their opinions don’t diverge from each other’s, it’s easier to get along. This unity is what a couple should strive for in a relationship. Though it can become problematic when one side tries to force that chemistry, instead of letting it develop organically.
One way that forces chemistry—as Vixen Daily reports—is expecting him to know what you’re thinking. Not only is it a high bar to hold someone else to, but it sets him up for failure. Instead, honesty may cultivate chemistry instead of waiting for him to guess what’s on your mind.
14-Neglecting One’s Personal Life Makes Him Head For The Hills
Don’t invest all your time and interests into your man. Not only does it leave you without a plan B, but it also makes you appear one-dimensional around your guy. Plus, as Elite Daily notes, having other interests you’re really into makes you appear more attractive to him.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend all your time with your guy (though it’s not really healthy to actually act on it).
Make sure you’re not neglecting the hobbies you have. Weirdly enough, it’s a turn off if he finds out you’re only into him (and that you have no other life).
13-Forcing Him To Be Someone Else Is A Ticket To Nowhere
Two people come together in the first place because they like what the other has to offer. As they get to know each other a little more though, they start to find things that could use improvement. The truth is, those parts about him you wish you could change may always be around. It’s up to you then to decide whether those qualities are deal breakers or not. If you can’t help yourself and want to change him, Vixen Daily reports that you’re just not meant to be together. Otherwise, you risk pushing him away with all the ways you want to make him better.
12- Giving Him All Your Time Seems Like A Good Idea
Too much too fast scares off a man, especially if you’re just starting to really hit it off. In the early stages, it’s tempting to only want to be with your guy.
Even if you’re not coming across as desperate, a guy will sense if you’re availability is suddenly wide open.
As Bolde reports, it’s important to maintain independence apart even when a romance is just starting to gain momentum. If he gets the sense you’re always free, he might think you don’t have anything better to do. Even more, it puts pressure on your guy to fill your time with something to do.
11-He’s Not For Sale
Couples learn about each other in the first three months of dating. The more you learn, the more power you have over another person. You know what their schedule is, who they hang out with and even their emotional tendencies. However, it’s important to remember that with great power comes great responsibility. Thought Catalog notes that women are liable to become entitled about their man’s business. They develop a sense of rightful ownership over his time and relationships. Most guys won’t tolerate a woman that feels she has a right to his personal life, at least not in the early stages.
10-Every Man Likes A Confident Woman
It’s important not to let others walk all over you. If you don’t have a sense of self-worth and confidence, you’ll be a walking punching bag for others. If you’re constantly attentive to him, he’ll notice.
Once he does, he’s liable to take advantage of it—to the point where you’re putting his needs before your own.
According to Vixen Daily, if you don’t consider your own needs, neither will he. As a result, he won’t give a second’s hesitation about hurting you. Instead, make sure you respect yourself and he’ll like you more for it. Plus, a woman who shows a healthy sense of pride appears attractive to men.
9-Competing With His Career Isn’t The Best Way To Kick Things Off
If you meet a guy, chances are he’s not going to have his whole life figured out yet. He might even be in a time of transition, whether it be his living situation or career—as Attract the One reports. You might even have a lot of thoughts on this issue and what he’s doing with his life. Even if you don’t talk about it with him, he’ll have a sense of whether you support him or not. If you don’t have positive feelings about him or his job, he’s going to pick up on it. Once he does, there’s bound to be friction in the relationship.
8-Make Sure To Notice More Than His Shortcomings
When you see every side of another person, there’s a temptation to judge them. We often judge others because it makes us feel good about ourselves. In the case of a relationship, you might judge him because he frustrates you for other reasons. Though Vixen Daily notes that when you judge him, he feels embarrassed.
Naturally, he’s not going to want to feel that way and might retreat as a result.
This is where the “Golden Rule” comes handy: if you wouldn’t want him judging you for all your faults, try limiting the number of things you point out about his shortcomings.
7-Disregard His Emotions And He May Disregard The Relationship
Many women feel that men don’t pay enough attention to their feelings. In an attempt to make him care more, they end up pushing him away. They wonder what they did wrong when all they tried to do was make the romance work. What’s worth examining—though—is whether she paid any attention to his feelings instead.
Attract the One warns against treating your man as if he doesn’t have any emotions or considerations. Like you, he’s invested in the relationship and (hopefully) wants to make it work. By treating him like his emotions don’t factor in, it makes you more liable to say something you’ll regret.
6- Show Him Only The Lows And He’ll Show You The Door
Relationships are messy. When you spend most of your time around another person, you’re sharing everything with them. Not just the highs, but the lows too. That means he’s going to see you the times you’re upset and critical about things in life. While there’s nothing wrong with that, what can be a problem is letting those emotions dictate your everyday interactions. Vixen Daily reports that your mood determines whether he wants to be around you.
If he only experiences the negative you, then he’ll feel less inclined to hang out.
How else can the relationship thrive if you’re always apart?
5-Being Presumptuous About How He Feels Is Never Wise
Making assumptions in any relationship can be problematic. In a romance though, it’s practically a death warrant. Whether you’ve dated a lot of guys or not, there’s a temptation to have them pegged from the get-go. If you both last beyond the first date though, the assumptions can still creep up.
As Thought Catalog points out, there’s the danger of making assumptions about how he feels. If you assume he’s in agreement about something that he’s not, it could end up backfiring. He won’t feel like you’re giving him a chance to prove himself. Coming to a conclusion about your guy is a sure-fire way to push him away.
4-Tricking Him Into A Long-Term Relationship Isn’t A Win
When we only think about the end goal, it often prevents us from reaching it. We only think about the benefits instead of what we need to do to make it come true. That same line of thought can apply to relationships.
If all you think about is getting him to make a commitment, it’ll show in the way you act around him.
As Vixen Daily points outs, it’s better to focus on each interaction at a time. The only way he’s going to make promises is if your time together is fun and meaningful. Instead, channel your energy into making him feel good about the relationship.
3-Leaving No Secrets Leaves No Mystery
In order for a relationship to grow, both sides need to be open. Opening yourself up to pain also opens yourself up to the potential of a long-term relationship. There’s such a thing—though—as sharing too much of yourself, especially in the early stages.
As Elite Daily notes, it’s best to avoid revealing too many details about your life early on. If he finds out intimate parts of your life that no one knows about, he might feel pressured to do the same. More than likely, he’s not ready to take that same step. Let those details come out naturally over time, instead of telling him everything from the get-go.
2-They Really Don’t Love The Chase
Women will sometimes resort to games in order to get a guy’s attention. There are some guys who crave the chase and need you to play hard to get for them to find interest.
In reality, though, the majority of guys don’t like playing games.
As Vixen Daily notes, men are simple creatures. They don’t want to go through a lot of work and effort to pursue you (even though they probably should). If you don’t want to risk pushing him away, you’ll steer clear of playing any elaborate games with him. Otherwise, he may not think the relationship is worth it.
1- Overly Suspicious Behavior Is Overly Obnoxious
Even when things are going well, our minds have a habit of playing tricks on us—especially when we date. Insecurity has a way of making us feel less than we are. If you find a great guy who’s into you, it often sounds too good to be true (after going through so many duds). You start to wonder if he’s really that into you in the first place. As David Wygant Productions notes, when a woman starts second guessing her relationship, it starts to affect the way she acts around him. He’s going to pick up on this and without a doubt, run for the hills.