You’re in a relationship now, you’ve said goodbye to the single life and your life has dramatically changed. You’ve started going out less and wearing more. You’ve deleted your Tinder app and you’ve sent a text to all of your booty calls to let them know you’re no longer available for drunken nights of loving at 3am. You have taken all the necessary steps to show that you’re committed to your partner but you promised yourself you wouldn’t turn into one of those people. You know, the girls that are continuously talking about their boyfriend and saying, “we did this and we did that.” You always had a laugh with your singles friends talking about how repulsive those couples were. Unfortunately, once you trade in your single life for a committed relationship you always become one of those girls. Here are 15 things you swore you would never do in a relationship.
15-Fart In Front of Him
The honeymoon stages are always perfect, your hair always looks amazing and you’ve meticulously hidden your morning breath. Then you let out that first fart. It’s awkward, uncomfortable and you promised you would never get that comfortable. Maybe it was an accident, you thought it was going to be silent, either way it seems like the worst moment of life. Now you and your beau have made a game of it and you take turns seeing who can fart the loudest. He’s trapped you in his toxic Dutch oven and you’ve both grown accustom to the foul smell that protrudes from one another’s bottoms.
14-Look Through His Phone
You told yourself you wouldn’t be one of those paranoid girlfriends that always believe their man is trying to have s_- with every woman that breathes. You want to prove that you don’t get jealous but curiosity always wins. You’re wondering why he always takes his phone with him to the bathroom and you can’t help it, you’ve cracked. You secretly look over his shoulder to memorize his phone passcode and as soon as he falls asleep you anxiously go through all of his messages and photos, all the while you feel the blood rushing through your veins. Hopefully you’ll be relieved to find that he is a perfect angel and has been texting his mom cat memes all day.
When you were single public displays of affection made you cringe, it was repulsive and you made a vow that you would never participate in such horrendous behavior. It grosses you out until you find yourself sucking face with your boyfriend in the center of the mall courtyard like hormonal teenagers. You can’t keep your hands off of each other and you don’t care who sees. You have become those people that you would stick your tongue out at and now you’re sticking your tongue down your boyfriend’s throat all over town. You’ve even taken it to another level and displayed your affection all over social media. Photos of the two of you locking lips are plastered all over Facebook.
12-Post Corny Pictures on Social Media
You know when you’re meticulously scrolling down your Instagram timeline and you see all these cliché couple pictures? There is the classic kissing picture, the vacation photos and of course the “look how happy we are” smiling selfies. These photos are always accompanied by sickening hashtags like #relationshipgoals and #bestfriend. When you were single you felt like these photos were taunting you and you were always thinking: “we get it, you’re in a relationship.” Now you’re in a relationship and you want to show the world that it’s real, so you break down and take a #couple #selfie.
11-Ditch Your Girls
We all have that one friend that got into a relationship and basically vanished. Every time you would invite her out she would opt out and stay home with her boo instead. The squad gets together and talks about how they’ve lost a good one. You tell them you’ll never do that and chicks always come before d*cks. Then your bestie sends you an early text preparing you to get ready for girls night, you’re super excited and so ready for a night of wild shenanigans. Then your hunky boyfriend comes home and entices you with a night of snacks and movies and you can’t resist. You text the girls and let them know you’re super tired and staying in but they all know you’ve chosen d*ck over chicks.
10-Wear Matching Outfits
After a certain age any pair of people wearing matching outfits looks totally ridiculous and you told yourself you would never stoop to that level of corniness. You and your boyfriend don’t have to prove to everyone that you’re a couple that is in sync but you spend so much time together that it only becomes inevitable that you start to dress very similar. You’ve been together for so long now that you have become one. You have morphed into each other and you’ve become a monster of a couple that everyone hates. You look alike, talk alike and now you dress alike.
9-Drop Hints About Marriage
You’ve been with your guy for a while now and you’re picturing a future that involves children, a big house and of course a big beautiful wedding dress. Your mother told you not to pressure him into marriage because it would scare him away but you’ve found yourself leaving wedding magazines around. You’re dropping hints like bombs and you don’t know where this side of you came from. The last time you passed a jewelry store you dragged your man inside and gawked at all of the shiny rings. You’ve been discussing wedding themes with your friends and they’re more annoyed than ever because they know you are in deep.
The last time you talked like a baby was when you were a baby and before you were in a relationship whenever you heard someone do it you just wanted to punch him or her in the face. That high-pitched tiny cartoon voice that emits from an adult human’s mouth makes your stomach turn but when you wake up next to your boyfriend and he looks like a sleeping angel you can’t help but say “goo goo ga ga.” Experts say we use baby talk because we love each other. Baby talk conveys intimacy because it is tied to our memories of loving language; it reminds us of the love we received from our parents when we were young. So next time you find yourself cooing you can feel better knowing that it’s psychological.
We’ve all seen our friends put on some pounds through the course of their relationship and it isn’t hard to see why. You stay in more, form the same eating habits as a growing man and you don’t really have anyone else to impress. Your favorite thing to do with your boyfriend is eat and he eats a lot. You have become less active because you’re all about staying in and binge watching your favorite shows with a bowl of snacks and now the only jeans that you can fit in to are your boyfriend’s. This is something everyone swears they won’t do but it’s nearly inevitable and then two years later your 5 pounds heavier. According to a study people in a relationship put on 15 pounds over the course of five years.
6-Go On Double Dates
Double dates with other couples are cheesy until you’re actually a couple. It’s easier for you and your boyfriend to socialize with other couples and it makes things more interesting. When you’re with your single friends they’re usually looking for someone or something. Hanging out with other couples gives you a perspective on your own relationship and can also lend you some inspiration. It’s easier to relate to other couples when you’re single friends are telling you stories about how they went on a date with a guy that wouldn’t stop talking about his ex.
5-Obsess Over Him
You know those girls that always talk about their boyfriend? They’re super annoying right? You wonder if they ever think about anything else other than him. You’ve always used these girls as an example for what you shouldn’t do but lately you have noticed you bring up your boyfriends name more in conversations. When you aren’t together you want to know what he is doing and whom he is doing it with. The lock screen on your phone is a picture of him and when you text your friends about a crisis they already know it’s about some dramatic fight you had with him.
4-Become a “We” Person
Some couples spend so much time together that they become a “we.” It’s always we want this and we did that. It becomes so cohesive that you sometimes wonder if they have the same brain now. You promised yourself that when you did get into a serious relationship you would maintain your individuality but after you said we for the first time you kind of liked it. You like feeling like you’re getting through life with someone else and now everyone knows there is a possibility that you won’t die alone.
3-Wear His Clothes
When your boyfriend jeans are actually your boyfriend’s jeans you know it’s getting serious. You start out by wearing his old band tees to bed when you stay the night and then you wake up and decide to rummage through his closet for something to wear that day. All of his t-shirts are up for grabs and there isn’t anything more comforting and cozy than one of his knit sweaters. His jackets are two or three sizes too big and it makes you feel like your constantly being hugged. You look forward to wearing your boyfriend’s clothes because they’re cute and super comfortable.
2-Stay Home Every Weekend
When you were single you looked forward to getting black out drunk with the squad. You got all dressed up and did your makeup real nice until you met the guy that made you want to stay home with him. Now you can’t even remember the last time you went out. Your friends have put the grandma emoji next to your name in their contacts and they hardly invite you out anymore. You swore you wouldn’t sacrifice your social life once you got into a relationship but you actually enjoy staying in cuddled up with your boyfriend on the weekends.
1-Do His Chores
Your boyfriend is a grown man and you’re not his mother so you made it very clear that you wouldn’t be cleaning up after him. You start out with small things, like putting his dirty dishes in the sink and picking his clothes up off the floor because you can’t take it anymore. Then a year later you’re doing a month’s worth of his dirty laundry and making the bed every morning. You can’t help yourself because when he cleans up it’s never as clean as you like it to be. He has gotten so comfortable with the idea that you’re there to keep things tidy and you’ve been feeling like a maid that doesn’t get paid.