Regular relationships can be tough enough, but situations, when two people aren’t on the same page at all, are even more difficult. After all, what’s worse than an unrequited crush? No one likes not having their feelings returned.
And, all relationships start differently. Sometimes, people meet online or when they’re out somewhere and end up hitting it off and planning a date. Sometimes, a person will realize that the person they have a crush on has been in their life all along, perhaps someone they’re friends with. Unfortunately, things don’t always go seamlessly from friendship to relationship. If both people aren’t on the same page, one person often gets stuck in the friend zone.
It could be that one person has a thing for a friend, but neither wants to bring it up because they’re not sure if it’s just their imagination. Maybe the other person just wants to know for sure so they can identify the dynamic in the future.
Regardless, it can be tough to figure out someone’s behavior, which is why this list of signs can help show whether he’s trying to get out of the friend zone—and five signs he’s the type of guy who just doesn’t want to commit.
20-He Finds Any And Every Excuse To Contact Her
Most of us have heard the adage that it’s actions, not words, that count—and that applies to a lot of situations. If a guy is always trying to initiate contact with a girl in his life, it’s not just because he has a ton of free time on his hands and is looking for someone to spend it with.
It’s because he wants to spend time with her in particular, and isn’t going to wait around to get an invitation—he’s going to try to make things happen.
Obviously, men don’t only reach out to women they’re interested in, so this is just one sign that you need to look for amongst many.
19-He Talks To Her Differently Than He Talks To Most People
There’s a reason that you talk to your partner a different way than you talk to your co-workers—there’s an entirely different dynamic at play, and your words reflect that. So, it makes sense that the way a guy talks to a girl could communicate a lot about his true feelings. Does he ask way more follow up questions and generally seem more engaged with her than he does with other people? Does he talk to her with a bit more vulnerability than he usually has in conversation, especially with his guy friends? It may just mean he’s looking to get out of the friend zone.
18-He Tries To Initiate Physical Contact
Some people are naturally a bit more touchy-feely than others, but the fact is, if a guy likes a girl, he’s going to try to be close to you—and that includes physically. Now, we’re definitely not talking about anything over the top—that’s totally inappropriate.
However, a guy looking to get out of the friend zone with a girl might be a little bit more playful with her, touching her arm or even brushing a piece of lint off her sweater.
Perhaps it’s all the rom-com moments, but there’s some part of him that things during one of those innocent touches, she’ll suddenly see what’s been in front of her all along.
17-Won’t Commit: He Flakes On Her All The Time
The idea that we make time for the things that matter to us goes both ways, which means that if a guy is constantly flaking on someone, it’s not just because he’s a flaky person or because he’s just too busy to make something work in his schedule. It’s flat out because he doesn’t consider time with that person a priority. So, if a guy is flaking on a girl on a regular basis, it’s likely because he’s just not that serious about her, and he’s certainly not willing to commit to anything, so he doesn’t treat her the way she deserves to be treated.
16-He Remembers All The Little Details She Tells Him
People remember the things that are important to them, plain and simple, which means that if he remembers all the little details she tells him, it’s because she’s really important to him. If a guy remembers everything from her dog’s birthday to her favourite ice cream flavor and exactly what type of wine she likes to order, well, it’s not just because he has such an amazing memory. It’s likely because he has feelings for her and is trying to get out of the friend zone by proving that amazing boyfriend material he is. After all, who doesn’t want to date someone who makes them feel valued?
15-She Catches Him Staring
As any woman who’s ever been flirted with knows that many guys aren’t exactly subtle. If they see something they like, they have a hard time not being obvious about it.
That’s why, even if he hasn’t admitted his feelings and is still stuck in the friend zone, he may inadvertently show his hand by staring at her a little too much.
After all, our eyes are drawn to the things we like—so if he just can’t seem to take his eyes off of her, then it’s a pretty clear sign that he likes what he sees, and perhaps is just trying to work up his courage.
14-He Finds Fault With Every Guy She Dates
Jealousy isn’t exactly the most attractive trait in the world, but let’s face it—if you’re a human being, chances are you’ve felt jealousy nipping at your heels once or twice before. That’s definitely true in matters of the heart. So, if a guy ends up finding some kind of flaw with every other guy she dates, it may be more than just a sign has high standards for his friend. It’s likely because he sees himself as the perfect match for her and no one else can quite measure up. She may not see that yet, but it’s clear in his mind, which is why he’s picking apart every negative trait the other guy has.
13-Won’t Commit: He Says He Doesn’t Want Anything Serious
This one may seem super obvious, but guys can be tricky. A lot of men will follow up this outright statement that they don’t want any kind of commitment with a bit of an excuse, such as that they’re just not looking for a relationship at that current moment, or they’re focusing on other goals, etc. And unfortunately, many women just hear the excuse—and assume that once that factor in his life changes, his view on relationships will change, and he’ll all of a sudden be ready to commit. That’s just not how it works. If he at any point utters that he’s not looking for anything serious, take that as him straight up telling you he’s not going to commit.
12-He Tries To Plan One-On-One Hangouts
This is one of the best signs that he’s trying to get out of the friend zone and wants her to notice him in an entirely different way. If she notices that he always tries to plan one-on-one hangouts and doesn’t invite other friends to tag along, it may be because he’s trying to essentially ask her out on a date without having the courage to ask her out on a proper date.
So, he just asks her to hang out as friends, hoping that when they get some one-on-one time together either he’ll finally have the courage to spill his feelings.
Either that, or she’ll just finally notice him as more than a friend.
11-He Compliments Her
Let’s get real—who doesn’t love receiving a great compliment from time to time? And it makes sense that friends would try to build each other up by complimenting one another. However, there could be more to it than just him wanting to be kind to his friend. Part of the reason he delivers endless compliments to the friend he’s crushing on may just be because he wants her to know that he doesn’t just appreciate her personality—he appreciates the way she looks too. He’s basically trying to communicate that he likes everything about you, one compliment at a time.
10-She Senses That She Make Him Nervous
Perhaps two friends have always had a rock solid relationship and then, all of a sudden, the guy starts getting strangely uncomfortable around his female friend. She might be weirded out by what went wrong and what prompted the change in his behavior.
But the solution is often simple—he may be totally crushing on her and trying to get out of the friend zone, but isn’t exactly sure how to proceed.
Now, if he’s a fairly shy and awkward person by nature, it might just be his personality; however, if he only gets that way around her, it could be a pretty solid sign.
9-Won’t Commit: He Doesn’t Want Her To Meet His Family Or Friends
When it comes to friends and family, everyone has a different situation in their lives—if a guy doesn’t introduce a girl to his family because they’re just not really in his life, that’s not necessarily a red flag.
However, if you know a guy has really strong relationships with his friends and is very close to his parents and siblings but he doesn’t bring a girl to meet them at any point, that’s a sign.
It’s likely because he doesn’t want to make the relationship seem more serious than it is and just doesn’t want to commit. After all, meeting the friends and family is a pretty classic next step in the relationship process.
8-He Flirts With Her
Some people just have naturally flirty personalities and can’t help themselves from turning on the charm for everyone who crosses their path, from their friend to the barista who makes them a latte every morning. However, this can definitely be a pretty clear sign that he’s trying to get out of the friend zone. It can be really intimidating to actually verbalize your feelings and come right out and tell a friend that you’re attracted to them. So, many guys trying to escape the dreaded friend zone may just try to up their flirting game in the hopes that she gets the message.
7-He’s All About Eye Contact
Eye contact is huge in relationships—after all, the eyes are the windows to one’s soul! Plus, they quite literally show what someone is focused on—so if he’s continually making eye contact with a female friend in his life, it may mean that he likes her more than just a friend.
Now, obviously, most people are respectful enough to make eye contact when they’re talking to someone.
However, if it feels a bit excessive, it could be because he’s trying to spark that romance and create the connection that extended eye contact yields. Plus, perhaps he just wants to gaze into her gorgeous eyes!
6-He Doesn’t Talk To Her About Other Girls
A guy who is trying to get out of the friend zone isn’t going to brag about his thriving love life—he’s going to try his best to make her think that he’s completely available. No matter how badly he may want her advice on something going on in his love life as a friend, he won’t risk the chances of her thinking that he’s unavailable if she ever did decide to see him with fresh eyes. So, he’ll keep his love life totally to himself in the hope that she’ll one day look at him with different eyes and he’ll be totally available to her whenever that happens.
5-He Doesn’t Make Plans Far Into The Future
No one wants to be that extra person who plans a lavish vacation a year into the future when the relationship has only been going on for a month or two—that’s a good way to scare someone off! However, if a guy doesn’t make any plans in the future whatsoever, that’s a huge red flag that he just doesn’t want to commit. And, we’re not even talking about anything big—we’re talking about things like suggesting the two of them check out a concert that comes into town next month. He just doesn’t want to make any kind of future plans because he’s not sure he’ll still be in the relationship at that point in the future.
4-He Goes The Extra Mile For Her
Most good friends will look out for one another and take care of each other, that’s just a given. However, a guy who is looking to get out of the friend zone will go above and beyond for the girl he likes.
We’re not talking about standard friendship tasks—we’re talking about things that seem excessive, even to her.
There is no task, no matter how large or inconvenient or time-consuming, that he’ll say no to, because he wants to make that move out of the friend zone. Sure, part of it may simply be because he’s a nice guy—but that’s not all of it.
3-He’s Always Free To Hang Out When She Wants To
This one is definitely a huge sign, especially in today’s busy day and age. Pretty much every adult has a packed schedule, between work and relationships and other personal commitments. So, if she finds that he’s literally always available to spend time together whenever she asks, it’s not just because he has nothing else going on in his life to fill his schedule. It’s likely because he has feelings for her and prioritizes that relationship, so he’ll move just about anything possible to ensure he has the time to spend with her. After all, we make time in our lives for the things that matter to us!
2-He Walks Her To Her Car/Door When You Say Goodbye
Okay, many guys do this just because they want to be a chivalrous friend, and ensure that their female friend is safe—which is really sweet. However, many guys trying to work their way out of the friend zone will do this simply because they don’t want to say goodbye.
Perhaps he’s trying to work up his courage to finally make a move and keeps delaying the goodbye because he thinks it’ll be the time when he finally manages to do it.
After all, it’s really difficult to make yourself vulnerable and confess your feelings to someone—it makes sense that it would take a fair bit of bravery!
1-She Doesn’t Really Know The Real Him
One of the biggest factors in any successful relationship is communication and being vulnerable with one another.
After all, you probably confide things to your partner that you wouldn’t tell anyone else in the world, especially if the two of you have been together for quite a long time.
So, if a girl finds that she really just doesn’t feel she knows who her partner is because he doesn’t open up and share anything about himself, it’s not necessarily because he’s a huge man of mystery. It’s probably because he doesn’t want to commit, so just isn’t sharing that part of himself with her in particular.