Abusive relationships come in various forms, and unfortunately we can be stuck in one without even realizing it, before it’s too late. Texts that may seem cute and loving turn controlling and abusive. His need to know where you are all the time turns into aggressive stalking. There are certain signs that reveal his abusive personality before the fun and games turn into hell.

1. Where are you at and with whom??

His constant need to know where you are and with whom shows that he doesn’t trust you even the slightest bit. He doesn’t really care about your feelings being hurt here, because he needs to ease whatever is going on in his mind. It’s one thing to show concern for your partner, but demanding constant intel on their life is just disturbing.

2. You’re going to be in trouble if you don’t answer me now.

He doesn’t care if you’re busy or unable to get hold of your phone and he doesn’t care if you’re asleep, at a meeting or sick; he’s so sure that you’re doing something you shouldn’t that he needs to hear from you the exact moment he texts you.

3. What’s with those revealing pictures?

If you post a picture on social media wearing anything other than a onesie that’s also covering your face, he hates it. No matter what you wear, how much make-up you have on your face, or how dressed up you are, he thinks that you’re just showing off your body to lure other men in. He believes that you’re doing it only to make him jealous.

4. I don’t think you really love me. You never listen to me.

He specifically told you to call him at 2 p.m., he told you he hates that dress, he TOLD you he wants you to be home when he gets back from work. It’s your fault that there was a traffic jam, it’s your fault that you love that dress that goes great with your eyes, it’s your fault because you don’t listen to him. It’s like you must not even love him.

5. You can’t go out without me.

How dare you have a good time without him at a place where there are so many other men? How dare you behave so slutty, when he loves you so much and he gives you all of the world? He knows what men truly want and that’s why you can’t go without him. That’s why he needs to be by your side ALL the time. Because, you know, he just loves you so much.

6. Do you even care about me when you are making plans without checking with me?

You made plans with your girls because you haven’t seen each other for ages. And all of a sudden he’s the hurt one, he’s the ignored one. He wants to go with you, and you’re forced to choose between bringing him with you to ruin everyone’s night or staying at home and ruining only yours.

7. What are you doing with him?

You’re on a break with a colleague from work or having a family reunion with a bunch of cousins (and, of course, some are male) and he freaks out because you’re spending time with someone besides him who has balls. If he’s constantly asking you questions about your relationships with the most random men in your life, then that’s a clear sign that you’re dealing with an abuser.

8. I don’t think I’m to blame here.

He snapped only because you didn’t listen to him. He snapped because you left without letting him know where you were going, or you weren’t home when he got there. No matter how hard you try, he always finds a way to make a fuss about something you did wrong (even if you weren’t aware that you did it) and finds a way to blame it on you.

9. Even my friends think you’re crazy.

Usually, a text like this is followed by some of his crazy demands, because he’s right and you’re wrong. And even his friends can see that, so how come you can’t? He wants you to question your sanity, because that way he can control you much more easily.

10. You can’t talk to him; leave if he goes to the party.

Whether it’s a guy from work, your ex or some friend you have known for ages, he’s so jealous of him that he demands that you leave the moment he gets to the party or even to the bar while you’re hanging out there. Unless he’s there with you, as that way he can establish dominance over him.

11. Convince me you’re home. Send me a pic.

The moment he starts demanding proof and pictures from you, the fun and games are long gone. If you haven’t left before this, then it’s time you finally do. No man is worth losing your freedom for.

12. We’re breaking up if you do this.

He’s practically blackmailing you into staying with him. Is that kind of relationship really worth it?

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