No one wants or deserves to be taken for granted, so I get you’re frustrated when your boyfriend does this to you. So, you may ask yourself what to do when he doesn’t care anymore? Is there any solution at all? How can you make him realize he’s losing you?
The beginning is always perfect. You live in a fantasy and your world shines more brightly than ever. It’s because you are in love and when you are in love, you fail to see everything that happens around you.
Maybe at first you didn’t see his flaws which he has like we all do, but as the time passed and the honeymoon phase was over, he started acting distant. It’s like he started losing interest all of a sudden.
Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t love you anymore or that he started taking you for granted just because he doesn’t care anymore. No—relationships can enter a rut sometimes and things become boring. You do the same things every day and you lose the excitement you had in the beginning. That’s when men pull away. They just don’t feel good in the relationship anymore. They become distant and probably want their way out.
But, there is also the other side of the story. Men sometimes get too used to the idea of being in a relationship, so they don’t bother around their partners anymore. They are sure that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with them, so they just stop trying. They stop investing in the relationship. They are not worried about possibly losing you.
They ignore you and take your communication to the lowest level. This leaves you frustrated, sad and fearful of losing him. You know that your guy is still somewhere in there because he didn’t change all of a sudden—that is impossible. Therefore, it’s completely natural to be scared of losing him, to be scared that you are growing apart.
So, it’s only logical that your next move is to try to talk to him, try to see where the problem is and how you can solve it. You have to find out how to make him realize he’s losing you.
But, before you go on and save your relationship, think hard about whether your relationship is worth saving? If you think that you have the guts and that you love him enough to try to save the two of you, then by all means, please do. But, don’t even try if you don’t believe that you are going to make it happen. You have to be sure that you are happy with him, otherwise, there is no point in trying to save your relationship.
How to make him realize he’s losing you?
Try some of the following ways to open his mind and realize what he’s doing. Show him that the two of you are worth saving.
1. Don’t care too much
Keep him at a distance. I’m not saying that you should totally exclude him from your life, but you should at least try to get away from him for some time. Don’t ask him where he’s been or what he was doing. Don’t ask about his friends or his plans.
Use this time to work on yourself and the things you like. Let him do whatever he wants and don’t object to it. He will probably get worried because you are not reacting to things like you used to and he will wonder why.
Don’t be surprised if he tests you by doing something on purpose, just to see your reaction. But, you’ll see right through that and one more time, don’t give in. If you want this to succeed, you have to be persistent because if it works, you’re going to be glad you did it.
2. Stop responding to his calls
Don’t make yourself too available for him. He is used to getting hold of you whenever he likes. Well, this way you will show him what his life would look like without you in it.
Don’t answer his call and see where it goes. Maybe he has a problem that he can’t solve by himself and before, you were there to help him stand on his feet. This time, no matter how cruel it might sound, leave him to take care of it alone.
He’ll probably see that he is lost without you. He will get a glimpse of his life without you in it and he won’t like it. He’ll probably snap back to its old self. Also, if you really can’t take it and you feel the urge to text him or call him back, do it—but wait a bit before you do. This will make him wonder what’s going on, too.
3. Don’t let him depend on you
This one is pretty cruel, but if you want to succeed, you have to be merciless. Stop doing things for him. Stop doing chores around the house or all those things you’ve asked him to do and he didn’t, so you’ve done them.
I know it’s easier to do something by yourself than to beg him to do it. But, this time, try not to care about all those things. Make him cook his own dinner and iron his own clothes. Make him buy his own shit—just stop taking care of him.
Once you take a stand for yourself and stop doing all those things for him, he will realize how much he depends on you. He will probably be embarrassed and even if not that, he will be completely and utterly lost without you. This is going to be his wake-up call because it will be hard for him to find another woman as awesome as you to put up with his crap and love him at the same time.
4. You have to learn to say ‘NO’
You have to take a stand for yourself. Don’t let him drag you around to the places he likes, doing things he wants. I’m not saying that you should stop being supportive of his dreams and aspirations. I’m just saying that you have another life to look after—your own. Think what you want to do for a change and humor yourself.
Don’t let him talk you into like things you hate and to go places you don’t want to. If you can’t find a compromise, do it your way.
On the plus side, he will probably be stunned that you learned to say ‘no’ all of a sudden. He will realize that he is losing you because you will spend more and more time apart and his attention won’t be needed.
This will make him think. And one more thing, when he snaps back and realizes he almost lost you, he will see the strong woman you are—a woman that is able to make her own decisions and he will respect you even more for that.
5. Go out without him
This is all a part of being independent. This is the whole point: to show him that you can manage perfectly on your own. Spring this on him out of nowhere. Just tell him that you have a date with your girls and you’re going to hit the town. Don’t ask him if he’s okay with it and don’t obsess about what he’s got to say.
Put on a smokin’ hot dress and go out. Don’t leave dinner prepared for him and tell him not to wait up. If he asks any additional questions, don’t give any answers. Let him feel uneasy, let him panic and maybe he’ll even get a bit jealous.
This isn’t a right thing to do usually, but in your situation, it’s a success to provoke any kind of emotion, even if it’s envy or jealousy. It means he still has feelings for you, but they are buried somewhere because of the rut your relationship is stuck in. Go out with your friends to provoke those buried emotions and save your relationship if you really care.
6. Turn down last minute plans
Stop doing whatever he wants you to do. If he didn’t have the decency to tell you his plans a bit sooner, it is a sign that he doesn’t value your time and if he doesn’t value your time, he doesn’t respect you.
If he doesn’t respect you and the things you want to do, you don’t have to respect his. But only for a while to make him aware of the things he’s doing and where he is making a big mistake. You have to show him how you feel by giving him a taste of his own medicine.
7. Take up a new hobby
You need your world to stop revolving around him. This is the reason why he is acting the way he is. He knows that no matter what, you will be there for him. That’s why he doesn’t respect you and ignores you. You need to show him that you are perfectly fine without him and if he doesn’t open his eyes to see it, he will lose you forever.
Start a new hobby, something that he isn’t involved in. This way, you’re going to enrich your social life—you’re going to hang out with people who love the same things as you do. This way, you’ll show him that you function perfectly without him. Keep him at a distance.
8. Withhold s..
Okay, let’s face it, all guys are complete suckers when s.. is at stake. If you take that away from them, it’s the end of the world as they know it. I think that sometimes women are not aware of what kind of power they have in their hands.
S.. makes a man feel close to you emotionally and physically and if he doesn’t see he’s been a total jerk in real life emotionally, withhold s.. to show him that something is not right. He will probably understand he’s been an ass if you stop giving him ‘treats’.
9. Flirt with other guys
Do this only if absolutely necessary. If he doesn’t pay any attention to you, do something about it. Show him that there are guys out there who would die to be your boyfriends.
Show him that he’s taking you for granted and he shouldn’t do that—at all. He should be happy to have you and show you he loves you every day. Find a good-looking guy and make a move on him. Provoke your guy to show any kind of emotion, provoke him to be jealous.
Or considering it’s hard to make sure he sees you talking to somebody else, try to talk about your new coworker and the fact that all the women you work with are crazy about him.
He will probably wonder why you are talking about this guy all of a sudden and he will probably look more into it and bit by bit, he’s going to realize he is jealous and that he doesn’t want to give you up to some random guy. And in the end, if he cares for you, he will open his eyes and fight for you.
10. Talk to him
If all else fails, just talk to him. Try to be as honest as possible. Actually this is always the best way to go, but unfortunately, most men don’t want to talk about these things because most of them don’t want to admit they have done something wrong. Sit him down and look him in the eyes.
Try to make him remember why he fell in love with you in the first place. Make him remember those times when you just met and how things were easy. Tell him that he’s taking you for granted and that he doesn’t respect you as he should have respected you.
Use these steps to bring him back because you know he loves you—he just took that love for granted and when he realizes that, he will be sorry.