Here’s something we’ll never understand. That guy we’ve been dating a while, when it starts to get serious (you know, the point where you can actually ask what’s on your mind), we’ll ask the inevitable question, “So, what was it that made you like me? Please, don’t hold back.”
We’ll pray that he at least noticed the hair. It cost the Earth, took 2 hours to fix, and we 100% did it for him. At the very least, we’ll assume that he’ll have noticed the way we curled it around our finger during dinner. Nope. Not a clue. Here we are, 8 months down the road, and the guys turns around and says: “The way your nose scrunches up just before you sneeze. You always say it looks embarrassing. It’s beyond adorable.”
When Cosmopolitan interviewed guys on the most irritating aspects of girls, we learned a few things. Number one: Snapchat filters (apparently guys can’t stand them). Number two: The way we steal their clothes (although we don’t see them complaining when we wear their giant t-shirts to bed). Number three: When we order the garden salad but steal their fries.
The biggest problem? There doesn’t seem to be a manual out there. What are the tiny things that we don’t even realize we’re doing that for some reason make him fall head over heels? Do we need a reality check for the things we do that put guys off? Looking at both, here’s the manual. Here are 10 tiny things we do that guys just love (plus 10 they 100% can’t stand).
20-Love: When We’re Spontaneous & Beyond Goofy
Yes, it’s one of the best Friends moments ever. Monica’s OCD mentality didn’t give her many chances to be goofy. The one time she did it? Chandler’s face said it all. When Monica took that Thanksgiving turkey and stuck it on her head to apologize to Chandler following a fight, she didn’t predict that “I love you” would ever come out of her mouth.
With a turkey on her head, a giant pair of shades, and that hilarious chicken dance, Monica completely let go of her inhibitions. Huff Post has reported that “being spontaneous” improves your love life. It did for these two. Guys love this.
19-Can’t Stand: Duck-Face Selfies
When Cosmopolitan listed the things we think are cute (but guys totally hate), duck-face selfies was #11. We might think that puckering up for the lens in the “duck” Insta-face is appealing, but we’ve got news for you – guys aren’t digging it. “Ah, the ‘instant no’ on Tinder” was one guy’s response to duck faces on Reddit.
This is where we need to take our beloved Kardashians and put them to one side. Come to think of it, the Kardashians’ love lives doesn’t exactly come with a #Goals, does it? A little less of the duck face.
18-Love: When We Close Our Eyes From Happiness
A weird one, but it makes sense, right? That moment when we hug them (or more). Sometimes, our heart just isn’t in it. When it really is though, a girl will show it. If you’ve ever held someone close and just closed your eyes because it feels so “right,” this is one to remember.
Guys can be surprisingly sentimental. Take Jim and Pam on The Office. Jim wasn’t into Pam for the big things. It was the tiny things that she did that drove him nuts. Jim couldn’t see that Pam’s eyes were shut here, but we’re telling you, he could feel it.
17-Can’t Stand: When We Ditch Them For Girl Time
Hey, it’s a girl’s right to lunch with her besties! Ditching a guy for a BFF catch-up has to be done right, though. (Yes, guys are sensitive and a teeny bit childish). What guys don’t mind is when we’re seeing our besties with some notice. There’s a difference between that regular Sunday brunch and the “emergency ditching,” though.
S*x and the City gave us more #BrunchGoals than we could handle. Then again, it also taught us that everyone from Carrie’s Aidan to Charlotte’s Trey felt “pushed away” whenever guy time was ditched for girl time. If you want him to consider you a keeper, remember how you feel when he ditches you for the guys.
16-Love: When We Show An Interest In Their Passions
This can be hard. If we’re dating a guy who 100% lives for football, it can be hard to turn from a girly girl into someone who genuinely loves the game. If we’re dating a guy with a niche passion (hello, Leonard and physics?), it’s even harder.
Penny lives for shoes, pink (and pink shoes). That moment when she actually listens and inadvertently starts quoting science fiction — it meant the world to Leonard.
Relationships are a two-way street. Sometimes, a little selflessness goes a long way. No-one is saying to get a degree in his passions. A little interest can mean the world to him.
15-Can’t Stand: When We Act Like Sheep
Individuality – it’s something that we all try and achieve (and somehow get lost on the way). When guys fall for us hard, it isn’t because we’re being like someone else. It’s precisely because we’re being ourselves.
Take Regina George from Mean Girls. Even watching her mediocre squad “attempt to be like her” is enough to make us squirm.
If you do anything around a guy, don’t let it be a giant and very obvious attempt to be someone else. Guys might like Mila Kunis or Blake Lively. The last thing they want is a girlfriend whose life goals are to become them.
14Love: The Lip Quiver When We Look Deep Into Their Eyes
Ask any guy — the moment when we look deep into their eyes and that lip just quivers a bit. They love it. This isn’t some objectification. What guys are digging here are the emotional signals that come along with the physical behavior. A girl’s lip will often quiver when she’s about to cry. While not every guy is into a girl who bawls her eyes out, he will be into what that physical symptom represents.
Rachel had it on Suits. Ross saw it in Friends. When we’re looking into their eyes and our whole face quivers a bit, it shows so much depth. Guys are noticing it.
13-Can’t Stand: Order The Garden Salad And Steal All His Fries
It’s the classic date situation. He orders the ribs or the steak, and for some reason, we end up playing the dainty little madam and ordering the garden salad. No judgment there, but what you don’t want to be doing, is this:
“Joey doesn’t share food!” If we learned anything from Friends, it was this — ordering the garden salad and stealing all the fries is a big no-no.
Social media has started dictating date behavior, and it’s not good. If you want the salad, order the salad. If you want the lasagne, order the lasagne. If your plans are to eat fries though, order your own.
12-Love: How Our Noses Turn Red In The Cold
Yes, it’s one of those. A situation that we think guys would 100% find off-putting (and they 100% happen to love). When we stand in the freezing cold, we’re going to feel the consequences. Our cheeks turn bright red, our noses look like Rudolph, and we’re probably wishing that we were alone.
If the guy is into you, it’ll be everything about you that he digs. The way your hair blows in the wind, the way you never get the laundry right. And yes, the way your nose turns red in the cold. It worked for Liza in Younger, and it will for you, too.
11Can’t Stand: “Here, Let Me Fix That Before You Leave”
The best reminder we have of this? Being little girls and having our own mothers try and “fix everything” before we left. Maybe it was the way our jacket was zipped up. Maybe our bag wasn’t “hanging right.” Either way, it was infuriating for us (and it’s infuriating for guys).
“Don’t touch my hair. I spend a lot of time on it, and don’t need you to mess it up by rubbing your hand in it,” a guy told Reddit about what girl behavior annoys him the most.
Gabrielle did it with Carlos on Desperate Housewives. He couldn’t stand it. That goes for real life, too.
10-Love: Independent Confidence That’s Intoxicating
We’re not talking about dying your hair red because Nicki Minaj did. We’re talking about doing whatever it is you do because it’s 100% you. This will forever be something that guys dig, and it doesn’t come with a formula.
This is about embracing the things that make you an individual and letting him see it.
If you love horses, painting, tree-hugging, or just playing drums like a complete idiot, those are things that define you. If you’re offbeat, you’re offbeat. Whatever it is you are, make sure that he sees it for what it really is. Guys don’t dig forced personalities.
9-Can’t Stand: Bickering And Baby Talk
There’s two here (and they’re both important). Baby talk is something that so many girls do thinking that it’s cute. Bad news — guys don’t like it.
“I hate it. Just use your normal voice when talking to me, none of this stupid higher-pitched tone,” a guy told Reddit about the “baby talk” that he can’t stand.
The other one is plain old bickering. Whether it’s with them or with our own girlfriends, it’s basically a giant advert that says: “Childish! Immature!” Speak to him like an adult, and for goodness sake’s, quit bickering already. Unless of course, you want to look like this.
8-Love: Scrunched Up On The Sofa, No Airs Or Graces
Don’t get us wrong, getting dolled-up has its perks. While a guy will most likely give the thumbs-up to a girlfriend who makes an effort once in a while, it’s when we’re at our most natural that they’re going to fall for us. Take Ross and Rachel. The number of scenes where Rachel was in pajamas, Knicks sweatshirts, or in some other way completely not a glamorous girlfriend? Endless.
When a guy is into you (and properly so), he’ll love the way you lie on the sofa. He’ll love the way you squash the cushions. He’ll love the way you fall asleep on it.
7-Can’t Stand: The Laugh That Just Feels Fake
Guys might be a bit dumb, but they’re not as stupid as we think they are. One thing they will absolutely pick up on is fakery. If it’s fake hair or fake nails, that might just be something that they have to learn to live with. The deal-breaker here? Fake emotions.
“She spent the entire dinner date just fake laughing. The whole thing felt so forced. It made me just want to leave,” a guy told Reddit.
If you don’t find the situation funny, don’t force a laugh. If you don’t find something cute, don’t go: “Aww!” It’s when you laugh for real that he’ll love it.
6-Love: When We’re Not Afraid To Call Him On It
Oh, the game is on. If there’s anything that will drive a guy a little bit nuts for you, it’s your ability to hold your own. Remember when Claire Danes beat those guys up in Homeland? Or any situation where Gal Gadot showed that she was the #Boss?
You need to tread carefully, here. Do not attempt to pull off the #OwningIt in a situation where you’re unsure. That said, if the guy says something that you know is 100% not true, step up and own it. Guys don’t dig being intimidated unless the girl is right, so pick your moment carefully.
5-Can’t Stand: “Do You Want Chinese Tonight?” “I Don’t Know”
Indecisiveness. It’s part of being a girl, right? We can’t pick an outfit. We can’t pick a dinner restaurant. We can’t seem to pick that trait out of our genes, but we’ve got news for you — guys don’t like it.
Guy: “Do you want Italian tonight?” Girl: “Hmm, maybe.” Guy: “Okay. Do you want Chinese?” Girl: “Hmm, maybe.” Guy: “Whatever, I’ll get dinner with the guys.”
Married men will complain about this as the number-one thing they can’t stand about their wives. It’s not going to make them fall out of love with you, but it isn’t going to make them fall head over heels, either.
4-Love: How Our Faces Look When We’re Really Into It
Have you ever taken a selfie while watching the absolute “make or break” part of a TV show? Of course you haven’t. You’re far too busy watching it. This is one tiny thing that girls have absolutely no idea about (but guys sure do). Whatever the situation — whether it’s the game, watching a storm, watching BBT, or just sweating it out during a run — our faces will change when we’re really into it.
When we’re passionate, our faces will show it. It will never be forced, we generally won’t think it looks all that good, but trust us, the guy will.
3-Can’t Stand: He Makes An Effort, We Shoot It Down
Giving credit where it’s due, guys do try — sometimes. They might get it completely wrong, but it’s the thought that counts. Given that a lot of the stuff they make an effort on falls outside the realm of their expertise, don’t be the girl who shoots it down with that glare.
Remember, sometimes they’re completely out of their depth. Valentine’s Day gifts? They wouldn’t know the best flowers or chocolates without the Internet. Do not dismiss everything they do with that face.
If he does something and it feels huge, at least show that you appreciate the effort. It’ll mean the world to him.
2-Love: When He Can Tell Our Whole Heart Is Right There
Couples have their intense moments. Sometimes, it’s an intense argument. Sometimes, it’s a moment of intense passion. The one thing you can guarantee will 100% have him falling for you is that moment when he can feel that your heart is there. These aren’t situations that come easily, in fact, it’s often the opposite.
It can happen in the pouring rain. It can happen at the end of a heated phone argument when one of you finally drives over to sort it out in person. “I love you” might be said. It might not even be necessary. Either way, if he can feel that your heart is there, he’s yours.
1-Can’t Stand: When He Can Tell We Aren’t Even In The Room
The bedroom might be where we imagine all the positivity to happen, but if the atmosphere is toxic, he’ll feel it. A guy can 100% feel it when our minds are elsewhere. Our body language shows it, or rather, the body language that suggests we’re “in the room” is completely absent.
Guys who want it easy aren’t the problem here. We’re looking at real love. If you’re “somewhere else,” he’ll feel it.
Hit share on Facebook for anyone you know who could learn from these situations. Your boyfriend might not want to see this, but your BFF 100% has to.