Have we ever looked at our partner and thought “I love you but what are you even talking about?!” We probably have, even if it might not seem like we can actually admit this. Everyone talks about communication as one way to make a relationship a long-term one, but of course, that’s easier in theory than reality. Most of the time, we’re hiding what we really want to tell our partner, and we’re saying something totally different.
Want to figure out what your partner is saying to you (or what they really want to say to you)? Here are 10 things your partner always says (and what it really means).
10“Are We In A Relationship?” Actually Means “I Told My Friends That We Are”
Oh, the “are we in a relationship?” conversation. It has freaked out many people and chances are, before we have this talk with our partner, we both spend a lot of time thinking about it (and being concerned).
If our partner says “Are we in a relationship?” it actually means “I told my friends that we are.” They feel like things are going so well that it’s only a matter of time before we make it official and they can’t help but spill to their pals that they’re dating us.
They’re hoping that we’ll say yes because they want us to be serious… but also because they told their friends.
9“I Don’t Care What We Have For Dinner” Actually Means “I Know What I Want But Aren’t Sure You’ll Agree”
Why are so afraid to tell our partner what we want to have for dinner? If it’s a Wednesday night and we’re craving a particular pizza from that one take-out place in our area, why not just tell our partner that’s what we want?
For some reason, we get shy and we say that we don’t know what we’re going to have for dinner. And our partner totally does the same thing. If our partner says “I don’t care what we have for dinner” or “I don’t know”, they really mean that they know exactly what they’d love to eat. It’ll take some digging but we’ll eventually get the real scoop.
8“I’m Kind Of Bored” Means “It’s Time For A Date”
After a year or more of dating each other, we can be in such a great routine with our partner that we’re past the point of planning specific dates. We most likely live together or see each other every day and so it’s pretty obvious that we’ll be hanging out.
Those date nights (or date days on the weekends) can get lost in the shuffle of crazed work days and deadlines and the realities of daily life.
When our partner says to us “I’m kind of bored” we should know that they actually mean “It’s time for a date.” They’re trying to get us to see that it’s been a minute since we acted romantic around each other and had some time together.
7“This Was The Best Birthday Ever” Actually Means “This Is The Best Relationship I’ve Ever Been In”
The first birthday that we spend with our new partner is a really big deal. They will often plan something amazing for us and we’re going to be so happy that they did.
When our partner says “This was the best birthday ever” they actually mean “This is the best relationship I’ve ever been in.” They might be a bit shy and nervous to actually explain this so, instead, they’ll tell us how much they appreciate the effort that we put into their special day. It’s pretty adorable when we think about it and we realize what they actually mean.
6“My Friends Love You” Actually Means “They Hated The Last Few People I Dated So This Is Good”
It’s awesome when our partner says that their friends loved us when we just met them for the very first time. We were full of nerves about it so it’s definitely the best news to get.
If our partner says “My friends love you” that actually means “They hated the last few people I dated so this is good.” Their friends definitely made it clear to them that they didn’t like their last few partners and that this is a really amazing relationship so far.
5“Let’s Get A Dog” Actually Means “Let’s Start A Family Someday”
Getting a dog is often the precursor to having kids. A couple can see if they can commit to something so big and important and if they can handle the responsibility of being a pet owner.
When our partner says that we should get a dog, they’re actually saying that we should start a family someday. Of course, hopefully this is what we want, too, and so we can smile at them and be so glad that we want the same thing. Otherwise, that would get kind of awkward.
4“You Don’t Talk About Feelings” Actually Means “I’m Scared You’re Not As Committed As I Am”
People giving relationship tips and advice often place a lot of importance on communicating feelings to each other. They totally act like if we don’t talk about feelings then we’re in big trouble.
We may or may not think that’s true because we might be a bit more private than that. But chances are, our partner might want to talk about feelings more than we do or it’s the other way around. If our partner says to us “You don’t talk about feelings” what they’re actually saying is “I’m scared you’re not as committed as I am.” If this happens, then it’s definitely our job to make them feel more secure… or figure out why they’re worried about this at all.
3“I’m Really Into Cooking/Hiking/Insert Hobby Here Lately” Actually Means “I Want You To Explore This Hobby With Me”
Some couples are magically interested in the same things. Other couples? That’s not really a thing at all.
When our partner says that they’re really into something, they actually mean “I want you to explore this hobby with me.” It would mean a lot to them if we put that kind of time and effort into that hobby since we would be putting more effort into the relationship.
This could mean that our partner is feeling distant from us these days. Or it could honestly mean that they just want to spend more quality time.
2“We Spend Too Much Time At Home” Actually Means “This Isn’t Going Well Anymore”
It’s the time of the homebody and many couples would say that they hang out in their homes a lot more than they go out. It’s just better. We like saving money, we don’t like crowds, and/or we love to cook.
But it could be a problem for our partner… and it could actually make them realize that this isn’t what they want anymore. If our partner says “We spend too much time at home” that actually means “This isn’t going well anymore.” If they were as in love as we were, they would love to be at home with us.
1“My Family Thinks You’re Awesome” Actually Means “Let’s Think About Marriage”
Diamond rings in champagne glasses or chocolatey desserts, proposals written in the sky, flash mobs — these are all ways that we think about someone asking their partner to marry them. IRL proposals are often less over-the-top, and sometimes couples even chat about wanting to marry each other before the official “Will you marry me?” question.
When our partner says, “My family thinks you’re awesome” they actually mean, “Let’s think about marriage.” Sure, if we just started dating a few months back then they don’t mean let’s put a ring on it and start planning right away, but they want us to know that they’re taking this seriously.
Yes, it would be great if our partner could say what they actually mean… but that’s love, right?!