Relationships are hard. And I mean, really hard. You are doing your best, trying to find a way to make it work, but sometimes, regardless of how hard we try, it just doesn’t work out: he is not interested in a relationship; he is a player; there is no chemistry. There are countless reasons, but let’s face it girls—almost relationships and commitment phobes are the worst of them all. They make you feel like the luckiest woman alive and they just disappear once things get serious. It’s not because something is wrong with us; it’s because they are not ready to commit. And it leaves us wondering if every man out there is the same; it leaves us wondering if maybe we are unlovable ones. And making someone feel like they are unlovable is the worst thing you can do to the person. Trust me, I would know.
We have all found ourselves stuck in front of the wall called ‘what the hell do I do now?’. It’s the point of a relationship where you are no longer dating casually, but you’re still not sure if he is interested in getting serious. And dating is already hard as it is without all this wondering if we are the match or not. So, if you are not ready for that serious and awkward conversion and to help you with this problem, we gathered signs he wants something serious. If you don’t find any of these, feel free to walk away. No one deserves your time, unless they are willing to give you theirs.
1. He makes time for you
And I don’t mean that kind of time where he comes to you late at night to have some action or that kind of time where you have to let him know days in advance, so he can fit it in his schedule. He changes his plans for you because he truly enjoys spending time with you. He is out there with his friends and notices that you are not feeling your best and before you even know it, he is right there next to you, keeping you company until you get better. He cancels his already-made up plans, so he can spend the night with you. And he still respects your alone time and your boundaries.
The honeymoon phase is amazing, we all know it. But even when it is over, he is still there—making plans and going out of his way to make you happy. This is a sure sign he wants something serious with you because he already made you a part of his life even if he didn’t say it to you. Sometimes, actions can tell so much more than words do.
2. He shows you off
Everywhere and to everyone. Players will either show you off at fancy restaurants and at the bar but will never take you out with their friends. Or, they will spend all of the time at home with you because there is a great possibility that he has other hookups. But the man who sees a future with you will never hide you. He will take you everywhere he can because he is truly proud and happy to have you by his side.
He will either introduce you to his friends and family or keep on bragging about you to them and insist that they are so eager to meet you. That’s a good sign he is up for a long-term relationship and not just stringing you along. If introducing you to his family is something he can’t wait to do, there is no reason for you to worry anymore about him being serious.
3. He takes you to his favorite places
We all have favorite places where we go when we feel like contemplating and thinking, places where we go when we are sad and places where we go when we want to enjoy ourselves. Sharing those places with someone new in our lives is like sharing something deeply personal; it’s like taking them to our childhood home. You don’t take just everyone there. You want to be sure that they are going to be there for the long run and that they are actually the kind of person we want to share our place with. If he took you to his favorite bar, appreciate the gesture, because it’s kind of like letting you into his heart. He felt comfortable enough around you to actually share something so intimate.
And even if his favorite bar isn’t the type of place you would go to, trust me: his love for it and enthusiasm for bringing you there will make you see it in a whole new way. It will no longer be the bar around the corner; it will be place just for the two of you. Something like your own piece of heaven.
4. He shows initiative
Whether it comes to planning dates or communicating, he has no problem being the one who will initiate it. You regularly wake up to the ‘good morning’ texts and there is no way you can go to sleep if he doesn’t send you ‘good night’. It may seem that he does it to everyone and he is just being polite, but trust me: he is doing it because he wants to show you that he cares about you. No man will text multiple times without an answer if he isn’t seriously hooked up to you. And with all of these ghosting trends, he makes sure that you don’t have to worry about him disappearing. He makes sure that you feel wanted and special because you truly are.
And when it comes to dates, he always manages to surprise you. If you are not feeling like going out, he will show up at your place with ice-cream, wine and a list of movies to binge watch. If you mentioned how much you want to go to the movies, he will surprise you with the tickets. It’s because he listens to you when you are talking and even when what you are saying seems like nonsense, he will still remember it.
5. He shares his past with you
Let’s be honest here, no one feels like talking about their past with just anyone. Yes, we will talk about high school memories, crushes and some mundane stuff, but when it gets deep, we keep our mouths shut until we get to know the other person. And sometimes, not even then do we decide to open up because they show us that they’re not really worthy of sharing.
But if he shares his past with you, and I mean past lovers, fears and biggest dreams type of past, he is damn serious about you. Men don’t usually open up, but if he opened up to you, that’s the only sign you really need. Unless he did it like on the first date because that is a whole new level of seriousness. I’m thinking more like seriously messed up. You don’t really want that kind of man who is too pushy and too eager about getting serious. Love and commitment take time and a little bit more than just one date.
6. You lose track of time when you are together
Whether you are at a fancy restaurant, hiking or just chilling at home, time just flies by. You genuinely enjoy each other’s company and you make memories every step of the way. Conversation just flows and there are no awkward silences, because you even enjoy silence when you get to share it. He makes it all look so easy because he is truly interested in everything you have to say—including your opinions, your memories and fears. He is all ears when you are talking and it seems like it’s all he ever wanted to do.
He wants to know more about you and not just how your day went. He wants to get to know you more deeply and opening up with him feels like talking about the weather. And he has no problem with opening up to you, too. This is a sign that spending time with you is something he wants to do for a longer run and he wouldn’t mind if it ends up being a lifelong commitment.
7. He takes you into consideration when making decisions
If you have recognized this sign, congratulations! You have found yourself a man that loves you and wants to keep you around. He will always take your wishes and needs into consideration when making plans because he wants you to be happy as well. Even if it’s deciding when to take days off, he will ask you about it, because he wants to spend them with you. It’s just another way of him showing how much he cares about you and how much he is actually serious about being with you.
Men who is not there for a longer run will never take you into consideration, because they only care about themselves. They will do as they please and just let you know what they decided. And, sometimes, they won’t even do that. That’s definitely not the type of man you want to have in your life because no matter how much you love them and how hard you try, they will never change. They are true narcissists who only care about themselves. He will convince you otherwise and make you believe that he is truly there for you, but if you failed to find any of the signs from this list, I’m afraid that he’s only there for himself.
8. He often asks for your opinion and respects it
The foundation of the strongest relationships is respect. It’s the mutual admiration and trust we have in each other and without it, it’s hard for a relationship to work out. If he asks for your opinion quite often and actually listens to what you have to say, you have his respect and it’s a great sign of you two making it together. And if he changes his own opinion because of yours, it’s even better.
It means that he is not an egomaniac who believes that he is the best one out there. It means that he respects your knowledge and isn’t afraid to admit that he is not the smartest person on the planet. Let’s be real girls, we have all met someone like that. But if your man is truly amazed with your passions and the way you think, he is in love with you truly, madly and deeply. And I’m not talking just about your body; I’m talking about the whole package here. Body, heart AND mind.
9. He has no problem talking about the future
A great way to get to know what the hell is going in that head of his is to ask him about the future, And not the future of your relationship. Ask him about his plans for work, about holidays and stuff like that. If he’s already counted you in those plans, you don’t have to look any further for signs of getting serious. He already is.
And it’s truly amazing if you don’t have to ask him about the future. If he talks about it with you and makes plans for a longer run, he already made up his mind. To him, it’s no longer casual dating and it’s not questionable if he is going to stay or not. He is sure of his feelings and all he does now is make sure you’re on the same page with him. It’s making you feel loved and safe in the relationship.
10. ‘YOU’ and ‘I’ became ‘WE’
He no longer talks about ‘his’ wishes and needs and there is no ‘I’. It’s ‘we’ and you can actually feel he means it. He already sees you as one because that’s what love is truly about. You are two individuals who are pieces of art for themselves, but together you make one hell of a masterpiece. Together you create something so much more than just two people being together, and that’s something he already feels and makes sure you feel it too.