I’ve been in my share of long-term relationships, short-term relationships, and FWB situations.

Now, if you’re anything like me (and hopefully you are in this respect), you’re only trying to marry one lady ever. Accordingly, all of the other relationships with women in your life will end in a breakup. And while breaking up can suck, it’s definitely necessary, if the girl you’re with isn’t wifey material.

So, here are ten signs that you need to ditch the bitch and find a better girl for you. After all, you have to slay a lot of dragons to get to the princess.

1. You have no friends of your own anymore

A healthy relationship includes spending a lot of time together, sure. But if you’re not spending any time with people other than each other, your relationship is doomed. The girl you want to be with for the long haul is not the type of chick that doesn’t let you go have a boys night; you have the right to play poker, smoke cigars, and go to the titty bar. Find a girl that lets you spend time with your male friends. If the girl you’re with has made you lose all of your much needed bro-time, it’s time to Ditch the Bitch.

2. You have no social life

This one kinda ties into #1, but to an even worse degree. Not only do you not have any friends of your own; you and your girlfriend spend 100% of your time together, but never go out and socialize either. Having no friends of your own sucks, but being stuck with the same person 24/7 and never going out and doing anything different makes you even more miserable. If this describes your relationship, it’s definitely time to Ditch the Bitch, before the two of you end up on some Investigation Discovery show.

3. You have very different religious values

If one of you is incredibly religious and the other isn’t, or if you are both devout about two incongruent religions, it is not a good sign. While when you’re dating this might just lead to one or two arguments, this can evolve into a big problem, especially when considering marriage and children and all that jazz. If she loves Jesus and you love sinning, it’s probably time to think about the future and Ditch the Bitch.

4. You have nothing in common

This problem is commonplace when it comes to first loves. Your first gf and you might have hit it off big time, and at first, it was all awesome s_x and sweet nothings. But when things simmer down, you slowly begin to realize that you have ZERO in common. You love fantasy football and beer and Call of Duty. She loves knitting and going to church and soap operas. There’s not a single activity that you’re both enthusiastic about. RED FLAG BRO. Ditch the Bitch.

5. You started dating before she broke up with her ex boyfriend

…So you met when she was cheating on another dude, and starting getting freaky with you before ending the other relationship. She has a solid moral core, bro. Save yourself the heartbreak and shame of being cheated on and Ditch the Bitch.

6. You see the relationship differently than her

You think you guys are FWB, she thinks you’re going to get married. You want to be exclusive, and she’s got dates with six other guys this week. Nothing good comes of either situation. Ditch the Bitch.

7. She has substance abuse problems

This is an easy one. Do you really want to get too involved with a chick who has all sorts of problems? Maybe she drinks way too much. Maybe she’s a molly-poppin’ animal and going to EDM shows every Friday night. Maybe she doesn’t feel evened-out unless she smokes 10 bowls of weed a day. In any case…do you really want to marry that? No, you don’t. Ditch the Bitch.

8. You’re constantly cheating on her

No relationship is perfect. Maybe you got wasted and kissed another girl and felt terrible about it. That’s one thing. But if you constantly have five side-bitches who you’re texting nonstop and sleeping with sporadically…dafuq are you doing in a relationship? Go be single and save yourself the stress. Ditch the Bitch.

9. You fight and break up all the time, then make up and get back together

If you’re fighting like errrday and always “break up” with each other, but never have the balls to make it a final goodbye, it ain’t healthy. Chances are you’re probably terrible for each other, which is why you’re constantly at each other’s throats. Dude, just grow a pair, break up for real, and Ditch the Bitch.

10. She Loves Justin Bieber

Sometimes, it really is that simple. DITCH. THE. BIT*H. 

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